Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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My dad is going blind in his right eye, is there anything I can do to make it easier for him? (self.Blind)
submitted by JesseAster
Basically as the title states. He's been informed that the vision in his right eye isn't recoverable and the vision loss is getting worse. He's really upset about it.
What's the most appropriate way to go about this? Do I just not acknowledge it? Is there anything I could do to help? I just want him to feel better.
What's the most appropriate way to go about this? Do I just not acknowledge it? Is there anything I could do to help? I just want him to feel better.
[deleted] 7 points 2y ago
[deleted]
Pacificem 2 points 2y ago
This!! I lost my vision in my right eye instantly and unexpectedly in 2017. Initially I panicked and had so many fears about how it would impact my life. My parents and fiancé who were traveling with me at the time didn’t treat me any differently at all and encouraged me to get back to my normal activities as quickly as possible. I also started seeing a grief counselor to talk about my fears. Within a couple months my life was completely back to normal. There hasn’t been a single thing I haven’t been able to do (I drive, ski, play tennis, etc.). The brain is incredible at adapting to monocular vision and I now regularly go entire days without even thinking about it. I completely understand where your dad is coming from (the unknown IS terrifying) but with time and the support of a counselor he will soon realize his life will be very minimally changed (if at all).
JesseAster [OP] 3 points 2y ago
This is great to know!!! My mother is the one who's been making his eye doctor appointments, taking him there, etc. However my dad has always been a bit stubborn when it comes to things related to therapy, so I will try to suggest the possibility of counseling to him and see how he reacts to the idea. Thank you.
gwynaweird 6 points 2y ago
What others have posted, totally. Also. Just treat him normally. My mother is fully blind in her left eye and mostly in her right, so I make sure I always approach from the right or make a bit more noise if I come from the left. Place things on their strong side. Just be subtle, don't make a big deal about it.
And if all that fails, just ask. 'Anything I can do?' That question, instead of assuming? Goes miles.
And if all that fails, just ask. 'Anything I can do?' That question, instead of assuming? Goes miles.
JesseAster [OP] 2 points 2y ago
Alright, this is definitely something I'm gonna keep in mind. I had no plans to not treat him normally just because he's losing vision in his eye, but I posted this question because I just wanted to avoid being insensitive to him about it. Thank you!
gwynaweird 2 points 2y ago
Oh, no I get that. It just lots of times with changes people act subconsciously. Never thought you'd do that, but just be aware of your actions, that type of awareness. <3
blundermole 2 points 2y ago
What various commenters have said about helping your Dad with the emotional load is really good advice. On the practical side, when he is ready to do so it might be worthwhile for you to help your Dad get started with using some assistive technology so that he's able to continue using computers and the internet. Smartphones and tablets usually have pretty good accessibility options built in. If your Dad wants to use a Windows PC, then the things to google are NVDA, ZoomText, JAWS, and Fusion (essentially ZoomText and JAWS working in tandem). Feel free to DM me if you have any questions about this.
macadamia_owl 2 points 2y ago
Never downplay it saying others are having it worse, others are fully blind, it could have been worse etc. It only makes it worse
Telling stuff you're strong, a fighter, winner, it's going to be better, you still have other eye... similar stuff won't help a lot too. The issue is: it can't be fixed, giving false hope for winning a fight you won't win, emotional burden of not allowing to grieve to show emotions.
After a while try to safely adapt stuff and hobbies that he likes to do to try them together again with some training, some support but not babysitting.
Listen, be patient and talk don't avoid hard topics, find good emphatic consultant who specializes in helping disabled people not every dies that and only do first appointment when he's and uf ready he may not want to or don't need it but it's extremely hard.
Sometimes just be there, sometimes you will had to show him there's still "light in the tunnel" there's still fun things to do. Depends what kind of person he is, you and others may have to sometimes show him that you're there for him for bad and good days.
I know i lost sight quickly in my left eye when i was 15 i had retinal tears then unsuccessful reattachment over 1 year i had to experience fading of vision and agonizing pain of that eye. Process of accepting total vision loss may take even few years even with professional help.
Contact with other VI and blind people, with organisations helping newly VI and blind helps.
Telling stuff you're strong, a fighter, winner, it's going to be better, you still have other eye... similar stuff won't help a lot too. The issue is: it can't be fixed, giving false hope for winning a fight you won't win, emotional burden of not allowing to grieve to show emotions.
After a while try to safely adapt stuff and hobbies that he likes to do to try them together again with some training, some support but not babysitting.
Listen, be patient and talk don't avoid hard topics, find good emphatic consultant who specializes in helping disabled people not every dies that and only do first appointment when he's and uf ready he may not want to or don't need it but it's extremely hard.
Sometimes just be there, sometimes you will had to show him there's still "light in the tunnel" there's still fun things to do. Depends what kind of person he is, you and others may have to sometimes show him that you're there for him for bad and good days.
I know i lost sight quickly in my left eye when i was 15 i had retinal tears then unsuccessful reattachment over 1 year i had to experience fading of vision and agonizing pain of that eye. Process of accepting total vision loss may take even few years even with professional help.
Contact with other VI and blind people, with organisations helping newly VI and blind helps.
siriuslylupin6 2 points 2y ago
It is not the end of the world. Blindness. There’s still a lot out there. The really nice thing is that it is only one eye. I’ve been totally blind for a long time and honestly I’ve lived a very full and active life.. it is not a reason to not live life. It is also not a problem. One just needs to adjust.
niamhweking 2 points 2y ago
There should definitely be practical supports for him in your area. O&M, cane training. Improving IT skills, speech to text on him mobile phone, counselling. It really depends how that will effect him daily depending on what his doctors are saying, so is it just depth perception or will reading be affected,more eye strain etc? I would start now though to help emotionally and practically before the vision is completely lost
Pacificem 2 points 2y ago
This is a common misconception but loss of depth perception is actually relatively rare with vision loss later in life. The brain has learned depth perception and has coping mechanisms to adjust. I didn’t experience any issues with this at all.
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