I’m a totally blind guy, so probably of no help. But I find bubbly cheerful people attractive without seeing them, and so much of that is the core, inner “you”, not something you can only do because you could see well. Life sucks sometimes, true. While you are adapting to changes in your vision you’re bound to spend more time focusing on adapting and making stuff more usable for you, that’s also true. But with time and perseverance it’ll become natural, and your personality needn’t suffer just because your eyes have.

I’m not blind. I’m on this subreddit because both my grandma and my mom are going blind, and it’s possibly my future. I do have Crohn’s disease, which I was diagnosed with when I was 17. I also had a bad self esteem hit when that happened. I mean, who wants to be with a woman who shits blood 20 times a day, who routinely loses their ability to walk, can’t eat regular foods, lives in severe pain, and swells on the regular? Turns out, a lot of caring, empathetic people who want to help you! Sometimes they are going through their own struggles and can use your support. It’s kinda a blessing in disguise, because it gives you a short cut to finding actual loving people. Be the happy, energetic belle you are! Those parts of you aren’t changing.

I'm a 22 y/o girl and I feel you. I wish there's something I can say to help but, yeah being blind makes socializing a lot harder, and I find myself forcing myself into being an introvert(even though it's not me) just to avoid being a burden.

I can't help with the self esteem issue because I've had that issue since before being diagnosed with glaucoma at 15. I spent a lot of years after that diagnosis feeling lost and a little worthless. I had my life planned (as much as a 15 year old can anyway), I was going to go into the army like my father and grandfather and their fathers did before them. I had my college planned out, everything. And then glaucoma diagnosis, which disqualifies you from all branches of the military.

Everything I had prepared for, planned for, gone in an instant. I was crushed what was I supposed to do now?. I'm 35 now, was just approved for disability (though I am hoping I can learn some new skills and be able to work again).

There plenty of men out there who aren't going to care about your disability. I met my husband about 4 years ago. On tinder. I already had my white cane and used pics of me with it for my profile. I started talking to him 2 days after signing up. We met a week later, and got married last September. He has no visual impairments. I'm a SAHW, so he brings home the bacon and I cook it. We are currently saving for our first house.

Its his mom that's been the hardest to deal with. I'm a boat anchor so all I'm going to do is bring him down. She thinks I'm going to drown with my medical problems, that I'm lazy, and because of my disability and laziness I'm going to do nothing but bring him down and make him do everything for me. When we met I was a kitchen supervisor, I had my own apartment, bought my own groceries and everything. When I had to quit and file for disability I was a restaurant manager.

Therapy helps a lot and I would def recommend it. You're going to be angry but a good therapist will help you to work through what you're going through. I would also recommend getting in contact with your states rehabilitation program and see what they have to help as well.

i copyed this to our discord as I feel our vi and blind community can relate this is very powerful and u are so strong thank you for sharing and I hope you continue to make urself and others feel positive

This gets me very personally because I went blind very suddenly when I was 19. My first thoughts, and the thoughts of people I have met since, were exactly the same as yours and I know exactly how it feels. And I wasn't even a girly girl, I was training to do a job that is mainly done by men, like it or not, and had to be one of the guys. I couldn't even do that. So yeah.

There are two things that I think are worth thinking about.

The first is that I still hate asking people for favours with help doing stuff for all the reasons you mention. Sometimes you will have to, often because you need to get somewhere or you can have someone help you for ten seconds to do something that would otherwise take you forever and it's just not smart or sensible to spend the time like that. The way you minimise that is to get good at handling the situation you are in, and that means all kinds of things like learning routes you can do solo, cane travel technique, all the technology that helps out.

All of those things take training and massive practice and it stings like hell but the result is that you don't have to ask for help as much, and when you do, you know you have done everything you reasonably can to avoid having to ask. It will still hurt sometimes, it does me, but it doesn't have to be a major force turning you into Debbie Downer. The exact things you need to learn how to do depend on you and what you want to do in your life, but whatever it is you need to take control of that and do the work. It will not be fun but you have to do it and it is on you.

The second thing is that seeming unconcerned by it, not being Debbie, and perking up people's days comes with expertise. You can move around gracefully and not look weird. You have the massive advantage of having had sight for a long time so your body language will be fairly normal, like mine is. If I wear sunglasses or if they're just not paying attention people often don't even realise. So the better you become at all that stuff I mentioned above, the more sorted out you have your life, the easier that gets. You can do all the normal stuff to make yourself look decent, I do.

It's just a huge amount of practice makes perfect but I promise it can be done.

(Edited because I posted it in a rush and came off as an asshat)

You got this. Going blind will not change your enherent personality. Yes you'll need to adapt, but in this day and age, that's much easier than it used to be. Some of the most confident girls I know are totally blind, and are actually way more put together and kickass than I with some limited vision am. It's awesome to see. It won't be an easy road at times, but with the right resources, training and support of people who care about you, you'll perservere.

Every woman secretly loves for the guys to fall for her. This is normal. It's the women who make it no secret--those are the ones you have to watch out for! They will come for your man and come for you with claws out! But don't worry: Blind people can still dance!!!!!!

​

You can't change your situation. You can only embrace it. And let me tell you what attracts guys: (A hint: It's NOT beauty; it's not sexual prowess; it's not even your money or car)... it's CONFIDENCE!!! Guys are attracted to a woman who is confident! SO-- work on that!

​

You are lucky to live in a time when us blind folks have so much adaptive technology at our hands. When I was in school, all I had was large print books and tutors. The books were HUGE!-- we're talking easily 2x1.5 feet, and they came in volumes! AND they were so expensive I was not allowed to take them home. So I had to get tutors. And they were UGLY, hahaha! Not attractive! We didn't even have computers then. I am 52, by the way.

​

You have GOT this! You CAN do it! Don't be afraid. Don't be shy. Especially don't be shy! When you need assistance, YELL! People are a lot more accepting if they just know what your needs are. And realize this too-- the majority of the people you will meet in your life have never met a blind person. I still have people asking me what that white stick is for! It's a freakin' "white cane" you idiots, for the BLIND, you dumbf\*cks!! Okay, so just realize, a lot of them will truly have NO idea what is going on. As a blind person, it is your responsibility to teach them. So it won't happen to someone else who is blind, in the future.

​

Also, know this: sighted people who have never met a blind person WILL stare at you. Get used to it. Give them something to be awed it. Make them smile. Don't act like a scared bumbling fool, don't panic, but be like "HEY! It's MEEEE! How am I lookin', kid?!" Give them something to remember.

And when you need help, or have questions, need to rant, or just need to be uplifted, you come right back here to us here at Reddit. We are here for you.

Oh-- one last thing: IF you can, join any kind of club, division, group, whatever you can, in your area, for blind people. I suggest you look up the Louisiana Center for the Blind, and what their programs are like. I was a student there and it changed my life! You do not have to live in Louisiana to go there either. They provide you with your own apartment while you are in their program, and your state WILL pay for it, because you are disabled now. Apply for Social Security Disability or Social Supplemental Income. If you are blind, you WILL receive it, as well as medical insurance. Don't be ashamed. DO IT! You can still have a career, and work, if you like. Just look into it, ok?

Good luck. We love you!

Not blind, but have a father in law who became blind.

Your attitude is one of the most powerful things you have in control. If you 'were' the belle of the class, why does blindness need to take that away? You mentioned it was your personality that defined you, so don't lend your inability to see diminish it.

Sure, you can't dance carelessly, but you can still dance in place.

Examine the strengths and traits that took you to where you are now. Unless you are a sniper, I bet great eyesight wouldn't have been one of those traits.

Of course, I haven't gone through this myself, so I can't imagine how difficult this is. But don't let this stop you from growing.

Sighted here, with two partners who are blind. One of them is a woman.

I want to tell you that what you're feeling is completely valid and honestly, probably normal. Your life is changing so of course it's a big adjustment. It's okay to grieve and be sad.

I hope this reassurance is welcome -- yes, you are still attractive regardless of your vision level. You will still be able to enjoy the things that make you feel sexy and attractive -- with some adjustments and lifestyle changes. The adjustments will be worth it.

The people who matter, who are worth your time, and who truly love you will stick by you.

Check out Molly Burke's youtube channel. She's a very open blind girl and talks about all sort of things

As a person who has always suffered from severe self esteem issues and have Aniridia in both eyes my whole life, just keep smiling. Yes not having your sight will be a "burden" but as long as you're using that word you'll always feel like one. You have to accept that you'll need help from time to time and if you find someone who isn't willing to work with you on it then you don't need to waste your time with them. Focus on what you can do not what you can't. Everyone, blind or not, needs help with something at some point in their life, there's no weakness in getting or needing help. Learn the layout of where you live and you should be able to jump around like you use to.
Just because you can't see your beauty doesn't mean others can't!

Why can’t you be? There’s some blind people like that too bubbly and happy. There’s still guys who want you.

I’ve always been a very down to earth, pragmatic type of lady. I’ve had to work very hard at being social because by nature I am and I am not.

I'm 25 and began losing my sight 1.5 years ago. 2 years ago I met my (now) fiance. I honestly thought he'd have left as soon as things started looking serious with my vision but hes taken me to every single appointment and been waiting for me after every surgery I've had. He sticks by despite all my break downs over losing my vision and I could not be happier with him. I'm so glad i gave him the chance i did when he began becoming interested in me.
You can and will find someone who makes you happy and sticks with you despite everything!

Hmm... I personally still enjoy makeup, and yes you can still wear makeup. As for clothes, minimising is key. I really like dresses because I can feel the difference between them and I feel more confident. Stuff like O&M will change your life and you can get coloured canes too - look into the Ambutech highlight canes. I think over time, your confidence will come back.