Blind and Visually Impaired Community
↑
18
↓
My wife is losing her eyesight due to diabetic retinopathy, in need of advice and resources. (self.Blind)
submitted by Hedgeywizard
At around 10 this morning my wife's diabetic retinopathy caused her vision to degrade to the point where she can no longer see details, she can still see color, shapes and shadows. When it happened she was very distressed and I couldn't help but also feel exceptionally distressed by the situation.
For reference we had been going to appointments where she'd get treatments to prevent her eyesight from degrading, but with Covid overtaxing hospitals in our area and the pandemic making going out legit dangerous we had to stop the treatments. She had been preparing for her eyesight to get worse for a long time, but for some reason it just devastated me in a way that upon looking up some stuff on google I found that a lot of people akin it to the literal loss of a loved one.
We have an appointment with an optimologist tomorrow in the hopes something can be done, possible dissolve the burst blood vessel obscuring her vision, anything. But we both have discussed that if her eyesight can't get any better then it'd be best if I took control of fine detail things while she gets her screenreader app working.
I don't know why I was so unimaginably devastated by her telling me she couldn't see the details in my face any longer and despite how quickly she bounced back from feeling upset, it still didn't stop this feeling of palpable loss that overwhelmed me multiple times today.
We've spoken about the feelings we've been both having, communication has never been an issue in our relationship. And yet despite already going through everything today she's been more concerned and wanting to comfort me.
I feel like I don't deserve this women, but I'll do everything in my power, as little as that is, to make things better for her during this time. So any and all advice, words of kindness and resources that I can read over to make things easier would be unimaginably appreciated.
For reference we had been going to appointments where she'd get treatments to prevent her eyesight from degrading, but with Covid overtaxing hospitals in our area and the pandemic making going out legit dangerous we had to stop the treatments. She had been preparing for her eyesight to get worse for a long time, but for some reason it just devastated me in a way that upon looking up some stuff on google I found that a lot of people akin it to the literal loss of a loved one.
We have an appointment with an optimologist tomorrow in the hopes something can be done, possible dissolve the burst blood vessel obscuring her vision, anything. But we both have discussed that if her eyesight can't get any better then it'd be best if I took control of fine detail things while she gets her screenreader app working.
I don't know why I was so unimaginably devastated by her telling me she couldn't see the details in my face any longer and despite how quickly she bounced back from feeling upset, it still didn't stop this feeling of palpable loss that overwhelmed me multiple times today.
We've spoken about the feelings we've been both having, communication has never been an issue in our relationship. And yet despite already going through everything today she's been more concerned and wanting to comfort me.
I feel like I don't deserve this women, but I'll do everything in my power, as little as that is, to make things better for her during this time. So any and all advice, words of kindness and resources that I can read over to make things easier would be unimaginably appreciated.
LovesClementines 4 points 2y ago
A surgery may be offered if it’s a blood vessel burst called a vitrectomy. Good luck to you and your wife.
GuiltyIngenuity 4 points 2y ago
Hopefully this is the case. Also, please, please, please seek out resources to help get her diabetes under control. The eyes are a good indicator of potential problems in the rest of the body...
kelpangler 1 points 2y ago
This is absolutely true about detecting health issues through the eyes.
dunktheball 1 points 2y ago
It's not easy to get under control, no matter what resources. i know someone who is constantly trying and doctors pretty much shrug off everything when nothing works. Like most situations, they know a lot less than they think they do.
Hedgeywizard [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Thank you very much for this information, I looked it up and I told my wife about it. Were hoping this will be an option for one or both of her eyes.
kelpangler 3 points 2y ago
I’m right there with you. Even though I’m the one that lost my vision (within a matter of weeks), the concern for my wife seemed equally distressing for me. You depend on each other so much that it’s only natural to feel such deep pain. I wish the best for you.
Hedgeywizard [OP] 1 points 2y ago
My wife would like to know what screenreader, if any, you use.
kelpangler 1 points 2y ago
I use VoiceOver which is already built into Apple’s computers and devices. Even though I’d used Apple products for years I wasn’t aware of it before this. Really easy to learn for me.
Hedgeywizard [OP] 1 points 2y ago
She is using TalkBack on her Google Pixle, works for her thusfar.
Hedgeywizard [OP] 2 points 2y ago
Thank you all so so much for the responses, waking up and reading this was something I needed. I'm trying not to fixate on what was and focus instead on what currently is, adjusting to a new paradigm is hard, but I am endeavoring to be patient with myself through this difficult time.
Some other details about the situation. I am 29 and my partner is almost 33. Her family has a history of severe diabetes, which when she was younger due to mental health issues like severe depression, she didn't manage her glucose like she should have. A few years into when I moved in with her she made major milestones in her mental health and after a health scare she got on top of her glucose. Before the pandemic hit we were struggling to pay for the treatments for her diabetic retinopathy, being forced to stop going when we were living paycheck to paycheck for the majority of 2020.
Only recently in the last 2 months have we gotten a better job situation and we can now afford to go get these things done like we wished we were able to. My wife is going to tell the doctor she completely understands if her sight can't be restored at all, but she'd rather prevent it from degrading any further. Right now she's dealing with some minor motion sickness from the blurryness in her vision, so I'm helping her as best as I can without smothering her.
Some other details about the situation. I am 29 and my partner is almost 33. Her family has a history of severe diabetes, which when she was younger due to mental health issues like severe depression, she didn't manage her glucose like she should have. A few years into when I moved in with her she made major milestones in her mental health and after a health scare she got on top of her glucose. Before the pandemic hit we were struggling to pay for the treatments for her diabetic retinopathy, being forced to stop going when we were living paycheck to paycheck for the majority of 2020.
Only recently in the last 2 months have we gotten a better job situation and we can now afford to go get these things done like we wished we were able to. My wife is going to tell the doctor she completely understands if her sight can't be restored at all, but she'd rather prevent it from degrading any further. Right now she's dealing with some minor motion sickness from the blurryness in her vision, so I'm helping her as best as I can without smothering her.
fruitporridge 1 points 7m ago
How is your wife?
Hedgeywizard [OP] 1 points 7m ago
Much better now! A few surgeries later and she can see again.
fruitporridge 1 points 7m ago
WHAT? I'm so happy for you and her. my heart is filled with joy. Thank goodness.
Tell her an anonymous reddit user with the username fruit porridge said hello. Lol
Tell her an anonymous reddit user with the username fruit porridge said hello. Lol
TheBlindCreative 2 points 2y ago
What country are you in? Different countries have different resources.
KillerLag 2 points 2y ago
Depending on what exactly happened, there could be a few treatments. Wait for your doctor to see what they suggest first.
This can be a very stressful time for you guys both. Good luck to you and your wife as you go through this.
After the medical situation is more stable, contact your local rehabilitation agency. They can discuss a few options for training, depending on the level of vision loss.
This can be a very stressful time for you guys both. Good luck to you and your wife as you go through this.
After the medical situation is more stable, contact your local rehabilitation agency. They can discuss a few options for training, depending on the level of vision loss.
siriuslylupin6 1 points 2y ago
Blindness is not the end of the world. Life can go on, adapting is work but possible to live a full life. I absolutely live a full life get in my way of wrecklessness but may be honestly better heh! I live a very very full life. Hang out more in the sighted world, very capable, physical blind person. I use to go everywhere and do everything myself. These days it’s a bit different do to covid. Still very much capable and independent and live a very fulfilling life. At the moment working on full days by exercise and stuff of that nature for instance I have been walking for 13 miles today.
Life is not over yet. Not quite yet. And still can act like anyone else.
Life is not over yet. Not quite yet. And still can act like anyone else.
macadamia_owl 1 points 2y ago
Find retina specialist was she ever been examined by one? I have ROP Retinopathy of Prematurity damage done to retina by it is extremely similar and treatment, prevention ways of further losing vision is like in diabetic Retinopathy. Such specialist saved my only eye from further vision loss for 7 years with one PRC laser treatment, only he saw vision threatening dangerous retinal tear at the edge of retina doing 45 minute eye exam that was not visible with ultrasound. Sadly he retired but it's worth to save anything what's still left from vision.
Total blindness is frightening for one who had vision before i experienced total blindness for weeks but doctors quickly intervened and restored partially what i had before.
Total blindness is frightening for one who had vision before i experienced total blindness for weeks but doctors quickly intervened and restored partially what i had before.
siriuslylupin6 1 points 2y ago
But total blindness is certainly not the end of the world.
SugarPie89 1 points 2y ago
Im sorry you have to go through this. As someone who has been visually impaired to some degree all my life, ive been struggling for years to accept my diagnosis and my fate of losing my eyesight in the fuure and have never trully accepted it. I dont know whats worse but Im really hoping there is something that can be done to help your wife. It may be a good idea to get therapy too to deal with the grief you are feeling and may feel in the future.
RainAndTea77 1 points 2y ago
I’m so sorry to hear that. I recommend looking into the National Federation of the Blind website. Try connecting with your local group.
MrsMammaGoose 1 points 2y ago
I don’t have much to add except — I am sorry this is happening to both of you. It sounds like you are doing the best you can: accepting that it will hurt, preparing for a new normal, and reminding yourselves that it won’t be this painful forever.
BlindRyan1 1 points 2y ago
Get her into IL classes ASAP or at the very least get her into blind-friendly hobbies because the crushing boredom is what'll ruin her psyche more than anything. Some video games are blind accessible. Some tv shows/movies are too. Audio books. Crafty stuff. Find ANYTHING that'll keep her mind whirling.
FaerilyRowanwind 1 points 2y ago
Hi. I’m just gonna send you a big hug. Sometimes the right answer is to know that you are “seen”. If you need someone to just talk to I’m willing to listen
This nonprofit website is run by volunteers.
Please contribute if you can. Thank you!
Our mission is to provide everyone with access to large-
scale community websites for the good of humanity.
Without ads, without tracking, without greed.
scale community websites for the good of humanity.
Without ads, without tracking, without greed.
©2023 HumbleCat Inc • HumbleCat is a 501(c)3 nonprofit based in Michigan, USA.