Turned 18 about one and a half month ago. I’m actually not sad at all that all my friends can get a drivers license and I can’t. I’m more excited about riding in the car with them!

Felt exactly the same when everyone in my year at school were doing driving lessons and getting their theory done- it seemed to be the only thing they’d talk about!
And they sometimes forgot about my eyesight and asked me when I was doing my test
When they realised there was a really awkward silence before they continued.....

It sucks- but people quickly move on topic wise- once a few people have been driving a few weeks no one cares any more


I’m sorry I can’t be of any help- but you’re not alone in feeling rubbish about it 😅

Yeah it can be frustrating for sure. I lost my sight as a teen. I lived out in the sticks where there were no sidewalks and no public transit etc. tons of people got their permits and then their licenses but nobody ever offered to pick me up for school, drop me home, or to do anything cool with them after school. So I was stuck on the bus. What a drag. I had no freedom and always felt like I was being excluded. Think you're going to take a girl on a hot date Friday night? Not without a car you won't.

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Sadly it's still frustrating as an adult. I lived just outside New York city after college and later lived in Boston. It was great to have the subway and train! It was very liberating. However, living in either place didn't work out long term because it was so freaking expensive even for a tiny apartment with no AC and no dishwasher etc. I could never make enough money to get ahead in either place which is unfortunate.

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So now I live someplace in CT that is more affordable, but, the public transit sucks.

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I for one cannot wait until I can have a self driving car. I can finally go where I want when I want. That would be such a relief!

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I hate asking peple for rides and one thing that sighted people, or driving peple rather, do not seem to understand is that if you want to go to the store to spend fifty bucks on groceries and getting an ubur there and back costs you twenty dollars, that can really screw up your budget! Also, just taking one of our children to school costs around $15 round trip. Do that twice a day and see how expensive it is!

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but yes people with licenses and their own wheels, by all means, keep going on about how nobody needs self driving cars and about how lite rail is a waste of money and how nobody would use it.

It sucked so much!! All my friends would drive themselves home from school, they never offered me rides and so I still had to take the buss with the lower grades.

I felt the same way 30+ years ago. It’s normal and in time it will pass, but try not to focus on it because it only bring you down.

Not exactly the same situation for me, but i am 18 and waiting to get the results of my dna test for retinitis pigementosa. But i really get the sitting around and doing nothing part, i am waiting for this result for more than 6 months now and it is making me crazy... So while my friends are getting their drivers license, i have to wait if i will be allowed to drive, and even if I'm allowed to, the question is for how long. It's super awkward to tell people who are constantly asking about me getting my driver's license about it.
Writing this was weirdly therapeutic haha. Hope my bad english makes sense, hope you have a nice day.

My baby brother (massive age gap, like I could be his teen mom) just got his learners permit. I *had* my licence, my eyes have just deteriorated to the point it isn't safe for me to drive now. Kinda sucks, dude. But that's just life. Eventually you get past it.

I feel that skipping this step of growing up is still messing with my mind. It still feels like I am not a real grown up.

It’s not that big a deal to me. I have become an expert passenger. Always get front seat and control the music.
You’re also saving so much on not having to buy gas and God forbid a breakdown. Being stranded is no walk in the park, unless you’re at a park. Then you could walk around waiting for a tow-truck that’s gonna cost you a few bills.
My point being, if your friends can drive, just pitch in a few bucks for gas here and there or buy them food. I’ve always seen that as a fair trade for a ride.
I honestly could go on and on about the negative side of owning a vehicle. That being said, I still wish I could drive. I’d work for Uber or something and make hella easy money.

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I definitely went through this, and it's the main reason why I dropped a lot of social media that old classmates were on. It improved my mental health somewhat.

You're not alone in having a tough time with missing out on the rite of passage that is getting a drivers license. Reading your post brought back memories from around 20 years ago (damn I'm old, ew).

There's no getting around the difficulty of feeling like a perpetual passenger while never getting to be the driver. It can almost seem like a metaphor for life as a blind/VI person in general.

Having said that, I can also remember a lot of great memories riding in my friends' cars. I can also offer a few other perks of not being able to drive: Don't have to deal with car ownership expenses, the hassles of car insurance and maintenance, parking, etc. And last but not least, when you're old enough you'll never have to be the designated driver, so cheers to that!

Oooo I have sort of a funny story on this topic! In high school they made me take Driver's Ed forever before I had to get a doctor's note exempting me for them to believe I shouldn't have to take the class cuz I can never drive!! It does suck not being able to drive but all my classmates were big mad when I didn't have to take the class lol

I turned 18 last month and I have the same feeling, majority of my peers have their driver's licence. It's the same for me with college decisions (having only about 5 or 6 options to major in).

I know many others have answered, but I felt the same way when I was your age. I know it hurts to see them have more independence, it really does. There are always positives to not driving: no gas, no car maintenance, etc. It's also great that self-driving cars are right around the corner so to say.

I know that it feels like you lost a big piece of independence and there are some things you just can't do without a car in the US especially. I do know that you will earn much more respect from people when you show them that you can get around without a car. That speaks much more to your character than having a car. Either way, hope you're doing okay.

I had about seven months of driving. It's not all it's cracked up to be. The car ads have people sweeping along deserted coastal highways in open topped convertibles with their arm around an attractive other person while power rock plays. In reality mostly it's waiting at the lights, trying to find somewhere to park, and spending amazing amounts of money.

I have a congenital optic nerve defect so I didn't even realize my vision was as bad as it was until I tried getting my license for my job at the time, went from having a career in fleet tires all set up back to zero in three seconds.

Hey, I get it! I actually found out I was legally blind _after_ getting my learners licence. So it was a huge downer to learn I shouldn't be using it at 19. BUT, no monthly insurance payments, no saving up for a car, no routine maintenance payments! There's a weird little upside. :)

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Awww I totally relate to this! I also lived like 30 minutes from town so people had to come out a long way to see me. It sucked not being able to help out and be the friend who drives everyone around. I have one best friend who always drove out to see me and take me places though. I still feel bad for her that she has to be the one to drive all the time. I love her for that though!

I thought it was a good thing, it was one thing that everyone but me had to think about. I got to focus on one less thing compared to everyone else

Not driving is a bummer sometimes not the same reasons at all. I’ve realized this the older I get especially pandemic.

Sure I can coerce people to give me rides I don’t hate asking for them but it would be soooooo much easier to just jump in my own car go some place, do my agenda come home and be done. Don’t have to argue with anyone, force anyone, cause a stir. Watch I can be a bit forceful but I am also quiet in some ways. I just want what I want and get shit done, that’s all I want. I can easily get my way and whatever whereever I go. But it would be so much nicer to just go. Like any other task. If I want 5 chocolate chip cookies at 7 am in the morning I have them. No one stops me. Hahaha! Silly example but yeah. Haha! Yeah, I’ve never got in too boos and stuff because of that reason, impulsive and probably really hooked. And there’s no wait stop hahahaha!

Maybe it’s good I can’t drive. I can imagine being a bit dangerous with that car. I think I’d race cars and motorcycles. Another aspect I’d miss doing. I had a friends husband a friend of mine too but he had one of his manic episodes and he’s like look I can speed really fast through this red light or whatever it was and so he did. It was oddly satisfying. I am like yay! Rick! Do it again. Do it again! Type of stuff if I knew it was safe enough I’d do too haha! I know it’s something else and probably dangerous and risky but yeah.... little things like that

The positive about this is that you will never have to be the designated driver!

There are definitely times when I would like to be able to drive, it’s usually because I want to go to some very out of the way place and then will need to maybe go into the town for shopping and stuff like that.
This can in some cases be worked out by using taxis, travelling with friends ETEC, but sometimes things don’t quite lineup in the way you need them to.


Also I know it maybe doesn’t feel like it right now, but being blind gives you the opportunity to have a lot of awesome experiences that most people don’t get to have.

For example I am a guide dog user and think it’s amazing that I get to have such a unique working partnership with an animal, when a lot of people don’t.

I understand what you're dealing with. I felt it too.

For me, it was more jarring being in a car with my friend driving than it was depressing that I couldn't do it. Maybe it's because I'm poor and knew, even if I had eyes, I wouldn't be able to afford a car.

It's actually worse in my late 30s because there's things I need to get but I have to rely on others who may forget.

I kind of lucked out in this case by being at one of the low vision schools, so most of my friends at the time we're in the same boat and no one really talked about driving. When it really hit was when I moved back home full-time, and had to rely on my mom and my brother to help me get around outside of using the bus.

The real hit is really the feeling that you can't be independent, but if you are willing to get creative or are okay with asking for help, you can really overcome that doubt and go almost anywhere and do anything at almost any time.

I'm 32 and not being able to drive has been the worst part for me. Grew up in the country no public transit, I walk allot.. dreams of a sailboat no laws stopping me


Sorry probably wasn't very positive, I feel you pain tho

I feel you. I’ve always hated the fact that I could never just get in the car and go on a nice long drive, or go anywhere for that matter.

I drove at that age but it took me three times to pass my test because of my nerves. I can relate to the mourning though — I can still drive but it’s becoming less comfortable and I avoid it as much as I can which sucks as we live in the middle of nowhere.

The upside though is you won’t have to worry about insurance or repairs that stuff is crazy expensive.

Sure, but you can enjoy life without driving. People only had cars the last century. Im 39 and have never had a drivers license. My dad is legally blind but somehow when he was young he and his retinoschesis wasn't as severe he passed his drivers test and they forgot to do a vision test. He renewed his license till he was about 50. Living only in small towns he managed to get around ok without many other people on the roads. He put the whole family's life at risk driving in his 40's though. If you are young now, you have so many more options than my dad had. Pretty soon (though it might seem like a long time to wait) there should be fully self driving cars that don't require a license. A.I taxis or carshares or something. 5 years ago there weren't any Teslas on the road and now they are all over. In 5 more years who knows?