Hi, it's been a very long and tough journey to get here writing this post. Mostly because I have experienced a lot of fear and trauma and could not face this head on.

Last year in January, I turned 21 and I got diagnosed with severe cataracts (steroid cream got into my eyes). It went fast and it went deadly, doctors have stated it was extremely aggressive. The wave of COVID-19 surged in my city and everything locked down, my surgery to remove my cataracts was delayed until further notice.

I was so damn scared because I was slowly losing my sight, I had fear every single day. I got so paranoid and afraid I tried to get an emergency appointment at a very good hospital with an Ophthalmology department. I told them I felt scared and something was wrong, I didn't want to become blind just because my elective surgery got delayed. I needed an emergency surgery. The doctor at the hospital made me wait hours, only for them to tell me he forgot about me. I'll never forget waiting in the room just crying and panicking all alone.

The doctor came to me and said, you aren't going to become blind don't worry go home, wait for things to reopen. I became legally blind from late April till early July, could not see at all. I suffered a lot last year. I got my surgery, but I lost one eye permanently due to a retinal detachment (cataract was untreated for too long). I experienced so many different emotions, grief, anxiety, panic but also release and happiness. When I could see the outside world again, I was so fricken amazed how green the trees were and how the sky looked. I had a new outlook on life.

Afterwards, I refused to associate myself with being blind, searching stuff up on it, finding resources, etc. but I have finally come to accept it. I realize that I have developed some sort of ptsd with sounds and light because of this. I just wish that I had more help... I went to a retina specialist and he kind of just said yeah its too late and I didn't know what to do. I felt that if I confronted this issue and I started coming to terms with it, I would somehow manifest losing my other eye or something bad would happen.

Regardless of all that has happened to me, I realize that I am lucky to be able to see in the other eye (not the same as it will ever be). This experience has taught me so much, but one thing I will always remember. Life is too short to not do the things you want to do and be the person you want to be. It almost made me euphoric, I am no longer a bitter person or holding grudges or waiting for the right moment at the right time. I realized I did not want to waste another day of my life, waiting for a better moment in time or not taking care of my body. I could die well before I lose my other eye, and I don't want to say at the end of my life that I didn't do anything.

In the span of the year I went blind, lost my eye, went through surgeries, and suffered in ways I never thought I would... I managed to get my dream job, move out to a condo, and doing well overall. I'm coming up on a year since it happened, I am still trying to adjust and learn. I told my story a couple of times on Reddit and to people I know, everyone says get a lawyer and sue the hospital or find legal action because they denied me help and I lost from it. After all of this, I just didn't have the want to take that action against them. Lots of people were denied help, it sucks I got caught in the crossfire but I certainly did not want to re live it in court. All I wanted to do, was move on and live a better life.

I hope to be apart of this community and learn a lot, hopefully find some sort of counselling or help to my situation. If you have any idea, I would be eternally grateful. Thank you for listening or reading :)