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So... I did it. I picked up the cane. (self.Blind)
submitted by cuntasauruswithacane
Hey lads & lassies,
Top of the mornin'/afternoon/evening for you lot. I recently posted about my (now migitated) reluctance to use the white cane as someone who isn't registered blind.
I had gone out with a friend today and for the most part "enslaved" her and her 60/60 vision. But as I was going to part ways to walk home; (30 minute walk), I decided I'd whip out the cane which was in my backpack.
I've used it on and off for the last 3 years but never seriously, and never would I have thought I retained so much muscle memory.
At first I was totally terrified, came close to folding it up a couple times. I walked past people my age (16 year olds) whom I could feel the stares from. It bothered me honestly.
But whenever I'd get sharp glares from the evening sun, and my vision would get blocked off: I could keep walking. Whenever my vision would fade a bit and I thought I'd walk into something... I reminded myself I have the cane. I don't know how to explain how freeing this actually is for me.
I was walking through a shopping centre (in order to leave through the entrance on the other side which cuts my route in half), and accidentally walked onto the wrong escalator. I nearly faceplanted but the fact I had my cane in my right hand seemed to silently explain to people why I did that.
I let out something between a yelp and a "fucking hell man" but otherwise... it wasn't as stressful I guess. Otherwise I'd have been mistaken for "drunk 16 year old girl in public" to everyone who saw me.
Granted some old lady said "god bless you" when she witnessed me nearly Shrek-ify my face.
I guess for the first time in nearly 2 years I picked up a cane and the skills I already had somewhere and put them to use, and honestly it's freeing. My parents may disagree with this but I'm damn well going to argue about it.
I guess my ramble should also include a thank you to people who replied to my previous post: it was a huge influence honestly. Thank you.
Top of the mornin'/afternoon/evening for you lot. I recently posted about my (now migitated) reluctance to use the white cane as someone who isn't registered blind.
I had gone out with a friend today and for the most part "enslaved" her and her 60/60 vision. But as I was going to part ways to walk home; (30 minute walk), I decided I'd whip out the cane which was in my backpack.
I've used it on and off for the last 3 years but never seriously, and never would I have thought I retained so much muscle memory.
At first I was totally terrified, came close to folding it up a couple times. I walked past people my age (16 year olds) whom I could feel the stares from. It bothered me honestly.
But whenever I'd get sharp glares from the evening sun, and my vision would get blocked off: I could keep walking. Whenever my vision would fade a bit and I thought I'd walk into something... I reminded myself I have the cane. I don't know how to explain how freeing this actually is for me.
I was walking through a shopping centre (in order to leave through the entrance on the other side which cuts my route in half), and accidentally walked onto the wrong escalator. I nearly faceplanted but the fact I had my cane in my right hand seemed to silently explain to people why I did that.
I let out something between a yelp and a "fucking hell man" but otherwise... it wasn't as stressful I guess. Otherwise I'd have been mistaken for "drunk 16 year old girl in public" to everyone who saw me.
Granted some old lady said "god bless you" when she witnessed me nearly Shrek-ify my face.
I guess for the first time in nearly 2 years I picked up a cane and the skills I already had somewhere and put them to use, and honestly it's freeing. My parents may disagree with this but I'm damn well going to argue about it.
I guess my ramble should also include a thank you to people who replied to my previous post: it was a huge influence honestly. Thank you.
blackberrybunny 19 points 2y ago
Good for you!!! Kudos to you! I know how scary it is. But you did GOOD!
I just don't understand why your parents would disagree though. That baffles me. But I kind of understand. My mom doesn't think I need to use a white cane either. Sometimes I don't need it, sometimes I do. I think she is embarrassed by it, honestly. But I think that is really all on her. I know people watch, stare, and secretly hope one of us will do something entertaining....and yeah, it happens. I've fallen a few times, in front of lots of people. Even with my cane... but I just picked myself up and brushed it off, and kept going. And that is what you have to do too-- KEEP GOING!
I just don't understand why your parents would disagree though. That baffles me. But I kind of understand. My mom doesn't think I need to use a white cane either. Sometimes I don't need it, sometimes I do. I think she is embarrassed by it, honestly. But I think that is really all on her. I know people watch, stare, and secretly hope one of us will do something entertaining....and yeah, it happens. I've fallen a few times, in front of lots of people. Even with my cane... but I just picked myself up and brushed it off, and kept going. And that is what you have to do too-- KEEP GOING!
MakihikiMalahini-who 7 points 2y ago
Pretty sure my mother-in-law would rather have the cane up my ass than in my hand visible to her family / friends. Some small town parents tend to see it as something shameful.
cuntasauruswithacane [OP] 7 points 2y ago
I felt this mate. 100%
blackberrybunny 3 points 2y ago
I had to LOL at your comment, but it's really not funny is it, for you MIL to feel this way. Too bad for her!! You keep on, MakihikiMalahini, and whack her good with it when you get a chance! A good whack on the ankle is worth it. That hurts! But you have the option to say, "Oops, Sorry!" hahahahah. Teach her a lesson.
Stay strong. All of you guys, stay strong.
Hugs to the OP- I feel you!
Stay strong. All of you guys, stay strong.
Hugs to the OP- I feel you!
retrolental_morose 6 points 2y ago
the price of me bouncing off a wall is someday, I'll ask someone for help. So it all balances out in my book. Good on you OP.
niamhweking 11 points 2y ago
I agree well done, again it was perfect for you, you used it when u needed it and didn't when you didn't. Feck strangers and onlookers. And even then, sometimes stares aren't "bad" stares, it could be surprise, interest, etc. It's a rare thing to see and it's OK for people to notice a cane user, it doesn't mean there is judgement attached. Although I know sometimes there is negativity or judgement.
Your family not encouraging it is a bit odd. Me my husband and my parents and siblings are fully supportive of any assistance my daughter gets. My inlaws don't get it at all, they seem to think if she just wears glasses she'll be fine, they never ring to see how her appointments go, or if she even has any coming up, they never address it. I'm not sure are they in denial, do they not care or do they not want a disability made public as such?
They claim to be Liberal and open to everything but they are also very judgemental towards other people (not disabilities) and fail to see their own faults so I don't have an answer on that one ;)
Once again well done for taking the plunge. And keep the practice up now and again, even if you rarely use the cane.
Your family not encouraging it is a bit odd. Me my husband and my parents and siblings are fully supportive of any assistance my daughter gets. My inlaws don't get it at all, they seem to think if she just wears glasses she'll be fine, they never ring to see how her appointments go, or if she even has any coming up, they never address it. I'm not sure are they in denial, do they not care or do they not want a disability made public as such?
They claim to be Liberal and open to everything but they are also very judgemental towards other people (not disabilities) and fail to see their own faults so I don't have an answer on that one ;)
Once again well done for taking the plunge. And keep the practice up now and again, even if you rarely use the cane.
cuntasauruswithacane [OP] 5 points 2y ago
My parents would be similar to your in-laws. They believe that if I just "try harder", I'll see better. They have an idea that a white cane is strictly for the fully blind.
niamhweking 5 points 2y ago
They are not the only ones and I think alot more social awareness in needed that majority of disabilities are a spectrum.
I mean if someone had a bed leg would they deny them using a crutch the days it hurt?
Or not allow a deaf person to use subtitles.
I also think young children with disabilities need to learn self advocacy
Congrats again!
I mean if someone had a bed leg would they deny them using a crutch the days it hurt?
Or not allow a deaf person to use subtitles.
I also think young children with disabilities need to learn self advocacy
Congrats again!
Opinion-Future -6 points 2y ago
It is meant to be used by people who are registered blind because its illegal otherwise
cuntasauruswithacane [OP] 4 points 2y ago
Plenty of visually impaired and low vision use white canes. There's no laws (specifically here in Ireland and UK) which specify you need to be registered blind to use the mobility aid. Matter of fact most cane users by my understanding are not registered blind but in fact visually impaired. I don't know where you're getting this information from mate.
Opinion-Future -4 points 2y ago
US Law
codeplaysleep 7 points 2y ago
Good for you! Using it for that first time is the hardest part.
My dad's reaction to me using a cane was weird, too (granted, I was in my early 30s). He's always been very supportive of me and of course understands my vision loss well by this point, but I could tell he didn't like the idea of me using the cane.
I think for him, it was a reminder of how bad my vision is and a worry that it's getting worse (it's not). So he wasn't as supportive as I expected, but I think maybe that's because it meant facing things he didn't want to admit.
I don't know what your parents' reasoning is, but I'm just throwing that out there as food for thought.
My dad's reaction to me using a cane was weird, too (granted, I was in my early 30s). He's always been very supportive of me and of course understands my vision loss well by this point, but I could tell he didn't like the idea of me using the cane.
I think for him, it was a reminder of how bad my vision is and a worry that it's getting worse (it's not). So he wasn't as supportive as I expected, but I think maybe that's because it meant facing things he didn't want to admit.
I don't know what your parents' reasoning is, but I'm just throwing that out there as food for thought.
NovemberGoat 6 points 2y ago
In the least cringey way possible, I'm proud of you. I had the same kind of struggle adopting the cane in my life full-time around the same age. Using it in front of schoolmates was just too much, so I made a deal with myself to try and use it outside of school when I needed it. The summer holidays after my GCSEs, I committed to it as hard as I could, for a fresh start in college. The stigma I once felt is nothing but a memory now. I couldn't imagine life without my cane. It's taken me all around the world, and navigated me through some of the wildest situations.
You're absolutely on the right track. Every day you push, it gets a little easier. Before you know it, it'll be like breathing. Your freedom is yours to claim. Reach out and take it.
Best of luck to you.
You're absolutely on the right track. Every day you push, it gets a little easier. Before you know it, it'll be like breathing. Your freedom is yours to claim. Reach out and take it.
Best of luck to you.
SugarPie89 5 points 2y ago
Ive been learning to use a cane and travel independently for the past 2 months but wont be able to continue my training until the fall. I havent really started using the cane on my own except when I practiced the two point touch technique early on in my training. Ive taken it to the grocery store once so far. Keep using it. I know it feels embarrasing. I personally have social anxiety and I dont want to catch anyones attention, but trust me you get treated differently when people realize you are visually impaired, but in a good way. People often become more helpful and treat you nicer and you dont have to explain anything when you cannot do something or need help. My mom is also against me using the cane but that is because she doesnt understand that you dont have to be completely blind to use one. Keep using it, the more you do the more you will love it. :)
DrillInstructorJan 5 points 2y ago
Yes!
Can I give you an internet hug please.
No celebration of the fact you have to do it, nobody wants to have to do this stuff, but the fact that you did it and it worked is absolutely worth, I don't know, a big chocolate chip cookie.
Can I give you an internet hug please.
No celebration of the fact you have to do it, nobody wants to have to do this stuff, but the fact that you did it and it worked is absolutely worth, I don't know, a big chocolate chip cookie.
B-dub31 3 points 2y ago
I’m partially sighted and was hesitant to use a cane too because it’s obvious I’m not completely blind. But I began noticing a crippling sense of social anxiety creeping in because I would bump into people, stand in their way, and do silly things like stumble over wet floor signs or product displays. Using my cane gives me confidence. Most of the time I don’t even use it for navigation, but as a communication tool to tell others, “I’m not a rude idiot, I’m just visually impaired.
cuntasauruswithacane [OP] 3 points 2y ago
I feel like I'm in a similar situation. Granted for navigation it seems to help tremendously for obstacles I don't spot usually, or people I bump into - or walking onto wrong escalators 😅. But I totally get the whole silent "get away I have a stick" vibe it sends off to people: it's a silent explanation to why you look at things closely or having slightly embarrassing "blind moments".
I think the confidence it grants me is what makes me want to continue using it in fairness.
I think the confidence it grants me is what makes me want to continue using it in fairness.
ratadeacero 3 points 2y ago
Welcome to the dark side. Canes are magical tools.
phillstaf 2 points 2y ago
Some would say we were born in the dark side, molded by it.
Blind-bigfoot 3 points 2y ago
Good for you for using the cane. I get looks all the time I just don't let them bother me.
OddRedd 2 points 2y ago
Very cool to read, I know that freeing feeling very well :). And major kudos to you doing it, I always had a very supportive family and environment and it still took me quite a while to take the plunge.
Winnmark 2 points 2y ago
My man. You have more balls than some of us blind folk.
EDIT: wait I'm confused, are you not visually impaired?
EDIT: wait I'm confused, are you not visually impaired?
cuntasauruswithacane [OP] 1 points 2y ago
I'm blind in one eye and and 6/60 in the other. What gave the impression that I wasn't?
Winnmark 1 points 2y ago
Hmmm. My bad. I guess I just misunderstood.
cuntasauruswithacane [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Not a worry
BlindLuck72 1 points 2y ago
Good deal! For me the cane is also a great get out of jail free card! I’ve done everything from talking to mannikins, going into the ladies room, and try to get into the wrong car.
I course I don’t mean to do these things but the cane clears things up much quicker!
I course I don’t mean to do these things but the cane clears things up much quicker!
BlindOwl12 1 points 2y ago
Good job for using it, I’ve been totally blind all my life so I can’t really relate to not wanting to get out the cane but at the same time if I had any chance at being able to pass myself off as not blind I’d probably be tempted occasionally. It’s really nice to have an excuse when I run into people/ apologise to a pole though
phillstaf 1 points 2y ago
Now that your more open to using a can as needed, some updated specialized training may be a good next step. (Escalators, stairs, unfamiliar terrain, inclement weather)
The basics usally can get you through all you need, but sometimes scenarios can be a fun way to prep yourself for uncomfortable situations.
As to note the escalator training with a cane sounds like it may help if you regularly travel a route with them. This can help identify directions and speed of escalators and both help with mounting and dismounting. (The preferred method of travel for instructors seems to be elevators or static stairs if available, but escalators depending on how often you encounter them can just as easily be conquered to the point where it's like walking upstairs in your own home, just due to familiarity)
The basics usally can get you through all you need, but sometimes scenarios can be a fun way to prep yourself for uncomfortable situations.
As to note the escalator training with a cane sounds like it may help if you regularly travel a route with them. This can help identify directions and speed of escalators and both help with mounting and dismounting. (The preferred method of travel for instructors seems to be elevators or static stairs if available, but escalators depending on how often you encounter them can just as easily be conquered to the point where it's like walking upstairs in your own home, just due to familiarity)
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