As a kid, I was always asked “How many fingers am I holding up?”

You have a child?? How? Why haven't they taken it away from you?? Your spouse must be the caregiver. There's NO WAY a blind person can be a parent.

You don't work here! Stop pretending and take me to a 'real' staff. Or being chased out of a staff mtg because they thought I was a client only to be told by the owner that I'm legit. That one was no surprise. It was an ID/DD facility and somehow people are worse when they 'know' what a client looks like. They unleash the nastiest of their ugliness when they think everyone agrees with them and their target won't be able to speak for themselves or believed if they do.

Where’s your guide dog? Or it’s wonderful the dog knows we’re places are?

First, I love my seeing eye dog. Change my life for the better. Though I don’t knock those that choose to use a cane. Most of the questions I get are usually decent ones, but recently I had one that had me shaking my head. And woman seen me with my seeing eye dog and asked me about his harness, what’s it for, etc. After I explained it all to her then she decided to ask me how do I drive? I wanted to say the dog does all the driving. I just give him directions

You don't look blind! You can follow my hand moving so you're not blind! You sure do go about you're own house easily, you're not that blind! ........I could go on too.

“How do you work here?” “Blind people have to work?” And my favorite “you can’t be blind, you’re too pretty/handsome etc”

How do u Cook?

I've lost count of the number of people who've legitimately asked if I could see out of my prosthetic eye.

Oh, and there's always "have you tried getting glasses?" ... Oh, I never thought of that. What a great idea!

Nosy former neighbor once asked me how I could afford a renovation I'd had done to the house with only my disability income. I'm not on disability - I have a job. I'd told him this several times.

Oh, and there's the slightly related one that's mostly disappeared since COVID, but it used to be that when I told people I worked from home they didn't take it seriously and assumed it wasn't a real and stable career (I'm a senior engineer/team lead at a software company). Even my own dad couldn't get his head around that one for a while... He was convinced I'd be jobless at any moment.

At first it was funny, but it got really annoying after a few times. In college my buddies would see how close they could get to my face, from the sides, without me noticing. It stopped after I started turning my head quickly and kissing them.

"How do you text if you're blind?"

Is this why there are so many accidents due to texting and driving and why so many PSA's exist for it? Because people are completely unaware that text-to-speech and voice-to-text even exist?

Gotta be twice as gay to put em in their place yo

“Poor people sink to the bottom”, one jerk said to me in passing as I was walking in a park with my dog and a friend.

Edit: This was in response to my White Cane. I am not poor, nor do I look poor.

How do you live?

I walk lots of places with my little dog, local stores don’t care if I take her inside in her carrier or stroller so I walk her with me to do my errands and put her in the carrier when we get to the store so she can get exercise while I get stuff done. The number of people that think my 11 inch tall chihuahua/Yorkie is a guide dog is hilarious!

Oh you’re so brave!

Why? For getting off of a bus.

"How can you be blind? Your eyes look so perfect!" I'd love to have a good answer for this, but I'm not blind yet.

Oh my God. They reminded me of the time that on the national white cane day when I went to high school, I had to give a presentation about what the cane was, what it was for and what it was like to be blind (suggestion from a teacher).
And a classmate asked me how the blind had sex. God, how embarrassing that was ...

that "where's your helper, do you have someone with you" line I got at a new doctor a few months back by the receptionist. I had to fill in contact information on a form and I did not know that before I went in. So then I say "Do you see anyone with me? I would really like it and be thankful if you could help me with this in five minutes whenever you have a second." Then the receptionist was quite frustrated with me and said that it was not her job, but helped me anyway. I felt pretty embarrassed and awkward.

Also, conversation I had frequently growing up: "Hey do you know what colours are, like what each colour is?" "No, not really." "Well you know yellow, the sun is yellow. And you know green, the grass is green." "wow, thanks a lot, I went to the same kindergarten you did."

Can you have sex? How? Have you found many people who want to have sex with you? (This was asked in a public place by a complete stranger.)

How do you use the internet if you're blind?

How do you know what kind of woman you like?

Why does a blind guy need a gps?

I'm not visually impaired but one of my ex-coworkers always told random guys while we're outside having a smoke "WOW YOU'RE FUCKING HOT" to some random guy passing by. She always laughed her ass off but I swear that's how she pimped herself off for free drinks at bars. I think it was her way of getting numbers too... I mean she was a beautiful woman but she had the best sense of humor on an older woman I've ever known.

Before anyone asks - She died from the Cancer

I miss her :( RIP