Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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What should I do if my scientist friend always cries for my blindness? (self.Blind)
submitted by kaveinthran
Hey there,
I am a proud blind person throughout my life my thoughts leans and towards blind culture and had always
encourages the understanding of life and diversity in viewing disability. I am an
evolutionist and educated atheist in which I always see the world
through the lense of diversity.
I have had a friend who is very sensitive towards disability an more
so on my blindness. although I've encouraged her curiosity, she always
cries after asking me something or thinking about my blindness. Being
a science enthusiast, I can't help it when I saw that kind of backward
perception from that friend who is a scientist.
How should I deal with that situation? It is happening often and it
intervenes our relationship quite a lot.
I've always told her that blind people do live a normal life and I encourages her to be more curious rather than sad. she said, when she tried to be curious, her thought always shifted into a perception that she is lucky and I am unlucky to not see the world. Once, when I confronted her
and quite harshly remind her that it's hard for me to tolerate her
perspective, she got a panic attack.
Is this something more than I can understand?
thanks
I am a proud blind person throughout my life my thoughts leans and towards blind culture and had always
encourages the understanding of life and diversity in viewing disability. I am an
evolutionist and educated atheist in which I always see the world
through the lense of diversity.
I have had a friend who is very sensitive towards disability an more
so on my blindness. although I've encouraged her curiosity, she always
cries after asking me something or thinking about my blindness. Being
a science enthusiast, I can't help it when I saw that kind of backward
perception from that friend who is a scientist.
How should I deal with that situation? It is happening often and it
intervenes our relationship quite a lot.
I've always told her that blind people do live a normal life and I encourages her to be more curious rather than sad. she said, when she tried to be curious, her thought always shifted into a perception that she is lucky and I am unlucky to not see the world. Once, when I confronted her
and quite harshly remind her that it's hard for me to tolerate her
perspective, she got a panic attack.
Is this something more than I can understand?
thanks
Agreeable_Morning_60 7 points 1y ago
From the sounds of it, she cares about you. Its hard to look at things with a black and white perspective when what youre examining is something you hold dear to your heart. It sounds like she isnt crying because you are blind and you are unlucky to not have sight, or because she has it better than you. It seems like shes crying because she wishes she could help you experience what its like to have sight but she knows she cant, shes crying because she feels helpless. Even though she knows you dont need help and perhaps dont want any. It sounds like you have a friend who really cares about you, and perhaps youre the one viewing the situation from the wrong perspective.
kaveinthran [OP] 2 points 1y ago
Thanks for that
WorldlyBoysenberry26 6 points 1y ago
Maybe send her some literature on ableism??? Then she can read up and better understand why her behavior is offensive to you, but you won’t have to be the person to break it all down for her. Maybe a scientist would appreciate having some avenues to conduct their own research.
gum-believable 1 points 1y ago
My opinion, as a sighted person, is that telling your friend to research ableism is a great idea. Most likely, they subconsciously believe their life is superior to yours because they have capabilities that you do not, in this case sightedness. Hopefully once they understand that it makes you uncomfortable to be subjected to their ableism, then the crying will stop.
But they may cling to ableism and keep crying over your blindness. So be prepared to tell them that you will end the friendship if their attitude towards you doesn’t change. In the end, you can’t change other people, but you can set and enforce barriers to protect yourself and what you will allow.
But they may cling to ableism and keep crying over your blindness. So be prepared to tell them that you will end the friendship if their attitude towards you doesn’t change. In the end, you can’t change other people, but you can set and enforce barriers to protect yourself and what you will allow.
BIIANSU 4 points 1y ago
Yeah, I think you ought to be more sensitive to her emotions. You can tell her that her sadness makes you uncomfortable, but I wouldn't advise you condemning her for it. She's allowed to feel things.
I'd say you're lucky to have someone who cares as much as that. Majority of the people in my life couldn't give two fucks about my sight loss.
I'd say you're lucky to have someone who cares as much as that. Majority of the people in my life couldn't give two fucks about my sight loss.
bradley22 3 points 1y ago
In my opinion there’s caring then there’s taking a thing to far. Crying every time ops blindness is brought up will get uncomfortable for them and I’d not be surprised if op ends the friendship after one time to many.
SugarPie89 1 points 1y ago
It is pretty frustrating sometimes to be pittied by sighted people. I was at an appointment a couple months ago to see a retina speilaist and there was another young lady there that was using a cane. I could only assume her vision was worse than mine since she needed assistence finding the bathroom etc. But the entire time my mom kept saying how sad it must be and how she felt sorry for her... It was quite annoying honestly and made me pretty uncomforttable. Im legally blind and my mom doesnt really undersand that. I stared learning to use a cane and she doesnt understand why and thinks only totally blind people should use one, but I digress.
I think the main problem is that sighted people just fear blindness, like many of us do to be honest. If I could help it I would totally choose to have full sight and not gradually lose my eyesight. Humans rely on their sight a lot and so to lose it is usually quite devastating. There are a lot of things you simply cannot do if you are blind and I think that is what they focus on the most. Some blind people are sad and isolated and lonely but a lot of blind peoeple are just fine and are happy, and that is hard for many people to understand.
I think the main problem is that sighted people just fear blindness, like many of us do to be honest. If I could help it I would totally choose to have full sight and not gradually lose my eyesight. Humans rely on their sight a lot and so to lose it is usually quite devastating. There are a lot of things you simply cannot do if you are blind and I think that is what they focus on the most. Some blind people are sad and isolated and lonely but a lot of blind peoeple are just fine and are happy, and that is hard for many people to understand.
[deleted] 1 points 1y ago
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