Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Blind rant (self.Blind)
submitted by Unlikely-Database-27
I'm a jr in college. This morning, just as any other morning, I was headed to class, as one does. I live about 10, 15 minutes away from campus. I know the root there, have done it many times by this point. However what is it with people thinking were incapable? I had a guy very insistently try and help me, even though it was very obvious I knew where I was going. He almost completely disoriented me a few times, but luckily I got back on track. No, people, I'm headed towards the wall I'm fucking aware. But I'm following the wall, not confused. And yes, helping me across the street is a kind gesture, but not when I've said three times we are going the wrong way. Fucker just kept grabbing my arm and pulling me along as if I was headed for a cliff edge or something.
I really try. I don't like to be rude to people. But my god I'm just trying to get to class, and I really don't need the help. Anyone else have similar experiences? How do you deal with people like that. One can only say "No, I'm fine I don't need help, thank you though" so many times before absolutely losing it in frustration.
Some people never learn. One time, 2, even 3 just isn't enough sometimes. Thankfully, I haven't come across the overly insistent ones too frequently. When I do though it honestly pisses me off. Why can't people just ask if I need help then if I say I'm fine, leave me alone? Arg.
I really try. I don't like to be rude to people. But my god I'm just trying to get to class, and I really don't need the help. Anyone else have similar experiences? How do you deal with people like that. One can only say "No, I'm fine I don't need help, thank you though" so many times before absolutely losing it in frustration.
Some people never learn. One time, 2, even 3 just isn't enough sometimes. Thankfully, I haven't come across the overly insistent ones too frequently. When I do though it honestly pisses me off. Why can't people just ask if I need help then if I say I'm fine, leave me alone? Arg.
Laser_Lens_4 20 points 1y ago
The way I deal with grabbers is to first ask kindly to let go. Then I ask firmly to let go. Sometimes I even ask twice. If they don't comply, I get violent. I don't like being grabbed, especially by men. Yuck.
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Consider this: would it be acceptable to go up to somebody and grab them without consent? No, so why should it be different with blind people? The one exception is if I'm about to walk into something that will injure or kill me. I'd rather be surprised by a strangers' arm then like a car hood or something. People don't know how to deal with us, and while education is the best way of dealing with them, most of the time there isn't enough... time to do that. Most people can't fathom the prospect of doing anything without sight, so they assume we're incapable of anything complex. It's a bit like trying to teach calculus to a dog. Chances are, it can't even imagine the concept of numbers because its brain isn't set up for that. The upside to this is that it's really easy to impress people. The downside is not being taken seriously until you do something incredible.
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And yes, it's really fucking annoying.
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Consider this: would it be acceptable to go up to somebody and grab them without consent? No, so why should it be different with blind people? The one exception is if I'm about to walk into something that will injure or kill me. I'd rather be surprised by a strangers' arm then like a car hood or something. People don't know how to deal with us, and while education is the best way of dealing with them, most of the time there isn't enough... time to do that. Most people can't fathom the prospect of doing anything without sight, so they assume we're incapable of anything complex. It's a bit like trying to teach calculus to a dog. Chances are, it can't even imagine the concept of numbers because its brain isn't set up for that. The upside to this is that it's really easy to impress people. The downside is not being taken seriously until you do something incredible.
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And yes, it's really fucking annoying.
[deleted] 15 points 1y ago
and like, I don't want to be an asshole, but I just don't want to educate you. Like just learn it on your fucking own. You spend 20 hours a week watching TV or playing dota, so spend like 1 hour a week learning about the experiences of marginalized groups.
Unlikely-Database-27 [OP] 10 points 1y ago
Yeah, like I was just trying to go along using landmarks and shit, and this guy was like trying to pull me along and complimenting me on being smart for... Getting around? Lol I don't have time to teach you how to be blind bud, kindly fuck off.
mdizak 12 points 1y ago
Yeah, don't just grab blind people. I don't know about the rest of you, but I scare quite easily since going blind. A dog or cat playing around in a bush I'm walking past is enough to make me jump, kind of thing, because I have no idea what it is. Human, large snake, courgar / lynx?
Grabbing a blind guy without first getting their attention is a good way to get a broken nose, if you ask me.
Grabbing a blind guy without first getting their attention is a good way to get a broken nose, if you ask me.
codeplaysleep 7 points 1y ago
>Grabbing a blind guy without first getting their attention is a good way to get a broken nose, if you ask me.
I punched a professor like this once... we both felt bad about it, and then we both laughed about it, and then he never approached me on my blind side again. He wasn't trying to guide me, but he had quietly materialized out of nowhere and enthusiastically grabbed my arm.
I punched a professor like this once... we both felt bad about it, and then we both laughed about it, and then he never approached me on my blind side again. He wasn't trying to guide me, but he had quietly materialized out of nowhere and enthusiastically grabbed my arm.
Unlikely-Database-27 [OP] 5 points 1y ago
Oh nah, I knew he was there. Luckily wasn't grabbed totally out of nowhere, not this time anyway.... Dude just wouldn't leave me alone even after my repeated reassurance of the fact that yes I was aware of my surroundings.
Dietzgen17 6 points 1y ago
I volunteer at a nonprofit organization for the blind and visually impaired. At the start, I had to watch a number of orientation videos that made it clear that you always ask a person if he or she needs help and you ask them if you should take their arm. You never just grab someone's arm.
Tell them to leave you alone. After telling them once, there's no need to be nice.
Tell them to leave you alone. After telling them once, there's no need to be nice.
changeneverhappens 6 points 1y ago
I'm an orientation and mobility specialist in training and during my cane class I had a guy park his car in an intersection and try to come help me across the street.
It was enlightening, to say the least.
It was enlightening, to say the least.
Tarnagona 5 points 1y ago
Yeah, the moment someone grabs me, I’m not nice anymore. I pull away sharply, usually saying something like “what are you doing!?” Or “let go of me!” And then I have a confused and slightly offended sighted person telling me, “I was just trying to help”. Don’t care. At that point, the person has become a potential danger, because I have no way of being sure of their motives.
Or I could do what my O&M did once during a lesson. Someone tried to drag me to a seat on the bus. After we’d sat down, my O&M said very loudly, “don’t you hate when people grab you like that; it’s so rude!”
On the whole, I try to be open, and will answer questions about being blind and how we do things. I appreciate that people want to help, so I don’t mind spending time sharing information when I have the spoons. Most people don’t have a lot of interaction with blind folks, so I get why they don’t know how to help. But I draw the line at people putting hands on me without consent, and don’t care, at that point, if telling them off is rude, or if they were just trying to help.
I’m glad I’ve only had someone actually grab me a few times. I think it might be less common, at this point, than the number of people who want to tell me how Jesus will heal me (but that’s a different rant).
Or I could do what my O&M did once during a lesson. Someone tried to drag me to a seat on the bus. After we’d sat down, my O&M said very loudly, “don’t you hate when people grab you like that; it’s so rude!”
On the whole, I try to be open, and will answer questions about being blind and how we do things. I appreciate that people want to help, so I don’t mind spending time sharing information when I have the spoons. Most people don’t have a lot of interaction with blind folks, so I get why they don’t know how to help. But I draw the line at people putting hands on me without consent, and don’t care, at that point, if telling them off is rude, or if they were just trying to help.
I’m glad I’ve only had someone actually grab me a few times. I think it might be less common, at this point, than the number of people who want to tell me how Jesus will heal me (but that’s a different rant).
Unlikely-Database-27 [OP] 2 points 1y ago
Ah yeah, the jesus rant... Thats pretty annoying too.
DrillInstructorJan 5 points 1y ago
Weirdly enough this almost never happens to me. I have no idea why. I have had a few grabbers but usually they sprang back in absolute horror when I said no thanks very firmly. I do get the thing about people assuming you're walking into an object when in fact you're using that object as a navigation point.
Just out of interest, is there anyone here who actually has been saved from certain death by someone leaping in front of them at the last minute? Never once for me.
Just out of interest, is there anyone here who actually has been saved from certain death by someone leaping in front of them at the last minute? Never once for me.
Adventurous-Bid-9341 5 points 1y ago
I still guide my dad, who went completely blind when he was 20, a few months after I was born. He gets extreme anxiety if a cat jumps on him, so someone trying to grab him in public because it looks to us that he’s unsure on his surroundings can be too much. That said, I do my best to educate folks - as you would with anyone, ask if they are cool, ask ask ask. Do not assume. I’ve learned that the majority of blind people do know. I don’t even ask anymore unless they seem like they’re having trouble, but I do that with anyone. So I think, aside from the invasion of personal space which I do not agree with, remember that it’s probably not just you, these folk try to help anyone that needs it. If they get pushy - assert yourself, your independence, and you’ll be great
Enfors 4 points 1y ago
You make good points. As a sighted person, if I see someone who is visually impaired who really does seem to be struggling with an unexpected hindrance in the way or something - is it better to ask "May I assist" than "Do you need help?" I read somewhere that people prefer the former, because they don't *need* help, but might accept it if it is offered.
CloudyBeep 7 points 1y ago
The only time where you shouldn't ask before grabbing someone is if they're about to do something dangerous.
Unlikely-Database-27 [OP] 5 points 1y ago
Its always good to ask. I don't mind getting help every now and then. Of course sometimes I will also ask for it. But if I say more than once I don't need it and said person is still insisting, thats where things get annoying lol.
DCL_JD 0 points 1y ago
Wow!! As a sighted person, reading your post and the commentary to follow was pretty insightful. Although I would never just grab someone out of nowhere and ignore what the person I was supposed to be escorting was saying, I can totally understand someone's willingness and eagerness to assist you.
To a sighted person like me, blind people are basically all walking Daredevils with the same superpowers and enhanced senses. I really don't think you guys realize how absolutely impressive you are. I'm not just saying that out of pity or to try to make you feel better either. Seriously, blind people are so much more capable and independent than I think sighted people ever give them credit for.
I always posit, if I were to go blind right now this very second I would be basically helpless. I would need to rely on the closest human being out of sheer necessity. I wouldn't be able to perform the daily tasks and activities that make up my life. I can't comprehend how I would do even the most basic functions of my life so just imagining you walking all the way across campus and getting to your class with no issues, which might be a simple task for you, is 100% mind-blowing to me.
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At first this point of view might seem like I'm diminishing the blind or belittling them but this is not the case!! My idea doesn't stem from what I personally think the blind *can* do but instead what I *know* I *couldn't* do if I were blind. To you, walking across campus is a cinch but I know that I wouldn't be able to do it without assistance. I think many sighted individuals think, "Oh wow, if I were blind I wouldn't be able to do that without help!" and attempt to offer assistance instead of just realizing that you guys are super-powered Daredevils.
To a sighted person like me, blind people are basically all walking Daredevils with the same superpowers and enhanced senses. I really don't think you guys realize how absolutely impressive you are. I'm not just saying that out of pity or to try to make you feel better either. Seriously, blind people are so much more capable and independent than I think sighted people ever give them credit for.
I always posit, if I were to go blind right now this very second I would be basically helpless. I would need to rely on the closest human being out of sheer necessity. I wouldn't be able to perform the daily tasks and activities that make up my life. I can't comprehend how I would do even the most basic functions of my life so just imagining you walking all the way across campus and getting to your class with no issues, which might be a simple task for you, is 100% mind-blowing to me.
​
At first this point of view might seem like I'm diminishing the blind or belittling them but this is not the case!! My idea doesn't stem from what I personally think the blind *can* do but instead what I *know* I *couldn't* do if I were blind. To you, walking across campus is a cinch but I know that I wouldn't be able to do it without assistance. I think many sighted individuals think, "Oh wow, if I were blind I wouldn't be able to do that without help!" and attempt to offer assistance instead of just realizing that you guys are super-powered Daredevils.
Tarnagona 7 points 1y ago
Eh, this line of thinking still makes me uncomfortable. I’ve not got super powers because I have adapted basic tasks and can now do them without trouble. It’s this kind of thinking that leads to inspiration porn, some picture of a disabled person doing, often, normal life things, with an “inspirational” caption that boils down to, “look what this person can do with a disability, why are you complaining?”
If you lost your sight tomorrow, yes, you wouldn’t be able to do simple things like walk across campus. But that’s because you have to relearn how to do things a different way. In a year or two, you could learn to navigate across campus just as easily without sight, along with doing all your other daily tasks, no super powers required.
I hope that gives a little perspective on why people may not be so keen on being viewed as having super powers for just doing normal, every day stuff. I know you intend admiration, but on the receiving end, it can feel uncomfortable and weird at best.
If you lost your sight tomorrow, yes, you wouldn’t be able to do simple things like walk across campus. But that’s because you have to relearn how to do things a different way. In a year or two, you could learn to navigate across campus just as easily without sight, along with doing all your other daily tasks, no super powers required.
I hope that gives a little perspective on why people may not be so keen on being viewed as having super powers for just doing normal, every day stuff. I know you intend admiration, but on the receiving end, it can feel uncomfortable and weird at best.
Unlikely-Database-27 [OP] 5 points 1y ago
Yeah, I've been blind my whole life, didn't learn this shit over night, heh.
DCL_JD 2 points 1y ago
>It’s this kind of thinking that leads to inspiration
porn, some picture of a disabled person doing, often, normal life
things, with an “inspirational” caption that boils down to, “look what
this person can do with a disability, why are you complaining?”
Hmm I think you misunderstood where I was coming from. With regards to the inspiration porn comment. I could see you calling it that if I was referencing something like someone who suffers from down syndrome baking a cake or something else similar. The way I see it, most people are definitely capable of baking a cake. However, those same people would struggle to bake a cake while wearing a blindfold. That's something that *you* can do and I wouldn't call that a "normal life thing."
>In a year or two, you could learn to navigate across campus just as
easily without sight, along with doing all your other daily tasks, no
super powers required.
Sure, I'm aware that over time you've adapted to your situation - you didn't have a choice but to adapt. But as a sighted person, imagining my life as blind is almost inconceivable. I have no idea how blind people do many things. Or a better way to word this, is I have no idea how *I* would do these things if I were blind.
I think this is how most sighted people think about blind individuals instead of considering the years and years of practice they have had being blind. It's not that we think *you* would struggle crossing the street, it's that we *know* that we *would* struggle with it and so we immediately consider offering the assistance that we would want/need ourselves if we were in each other's position.
>I know you intend admiration, but on the receiving end, it can feel uncomfortable and weird at best.
You know, it's not really admiration either. Being blind doesn't earn my admiration because you didn't get a choice in the matter. It's not to belittle or discount what you can do on your own either. I'm more speaking on the behavior of the sighted person offering unsolicited assistance and how a lack of comprehension or understanding the blind experience (whatever you want to call it) can lead to such a situation.
porn, some picture of a disabled person doing, often, normal life
things, with an “inspirational” caption that boils down to, “look what
this person can do with a disability, why are you complaining?”
Hmm I think you misunderstood where I was coming from. With regards to the inspiration porn comment. I could see you calling it that if I was referencing something like someone who suffers from down syndrome baking a cake or something else similar. The way I see it, most people are definitely capable of baking a cake. However, those same people would struggle to bake a cake while wearing a blindfold. That's something that *you* can do and I wouldn't call that a "normal life thing."
>In a year or two, you could learn to navigate across campus just as
easily without sight, along with doing all your other daily tasks, no
super powers required.
Sure, I'm aware that over time you've adapted to your situation - you didn't have a choice but to adapt. But as a sighted person, imagining my life as blind is almost inconceivable. I have no idea how blind people do many things. Or a better way to word this, is I have no idea how *I* would do these things if I were blind.
I think this is how most sighted people think about blind individuals instead of considering the years and years of practice they have had being blind. It's not that we think *you* would struggle crossing the street, it's that we *know* that we *would* struggle with it and so we immediately consider offering the assistance that we would want/need ourselves if we were in each other's position.
>I know you intend admiration, but on the receiving end, it can feel uncomfortable and weird at best.
You know, it's not really admiration either. Being blind doesn't earn my admiration because you didn't get a choice in the matter. It's not to belittle or discount what you can do on your own either. I'm more speaking on the behavior of the sighted person offering unsolicited assistance and how a lack of comprehension or understanding the blind experience (whatever you want to call it) can lead to such a situation.
Tarnagona 7 points 1y ago
Hey, I’m not saying you take us as inspirational porn yourself. More like, to me, inspirational porn is the extreme of the feelings you describe, and that’s why it is uncomfortable to me.
Also, baking a cake isn’t normal? I mean, most people don’t do it often, but like you said most people can do it. Why is it special if I bake a cake as a blind person, but boring and normal if you do it? I mean, sighted people also have to learn cake-baking skills, like reading a recipe, measuring ingredients correctly, &c. I’ve learned the exact same skill set, but I’ve maybe learned how to do things in a different way.
If I suddenly had full sight tomorrow, I wouldn’t know how to live sighted. There are sighted skills I’d have to learn, like making eye contact. Probably not quite as extreme a switch, seeing as I could still do many thing the blind way as a sighted person, when the reverse isn’t true. But there would still be a learning curve.
I don’t know if I’m helping, or just muddying the waters here. I do appreciate that your feelings are what they are, and many people feel the same. I appreciate that people want to help—and sometimes their help is very much needed! But I’ve had strangers compliment me for navigating a route I took everyday, and it’s awkward and weird. Saying I’m Daredevil for doing simple, everyday tasks feels awkward and weird. So, yes, I understand and appreciate that sighted people offering help are coming from a good, well-meaning place. And that’s why I’m generally happy to talk, answer questions, and explain. But some reactions to my existence are still going to make me feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense?
Also, baking a cake isn’t normal? I mean, most people don’t do it often, but like you said most people can do it. Why is it special if I bake a cake as a blind person, but boring and normal if you do it? I mean, sighted people also have to learn cake-baking skills, like reading a recipe, measuring ingredients correctly, &c. I’ve learned the exact same skill set, but I’ve maybe learned how to do things in a different way.
If I suddenly had full sight tomorrow, I wouldn’t know how to live sighted. There are sighted skills I’d have to learn, like making eye contact. Probably not quite as extreme a switch, seeing as I could still do many thing the blind way as a sighted person, when the reverse isn’t true. But there would still be a learning curve.
I don’t know if I’m helping, or just muddying the waters here. I do appreciate that your feelings are what they are, and many people feel the same. I appreciate that people want to help—and sometimes their help is very much needed! But I’ve had strangers compliment me for navigating a route I took everyday, and it’s awkward and weird. Saying I’m Daredevil for doing simple, everyday tasks feels awkward and weird. So, yes, I understand and appreciate that sighted people offering help are coming from a good, well-meaning place. And that’s why I’m generally happy to talk, answer questions, and explain. But some reactions to my existence are still going to make me feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense?
DCL_JD 3 points 1y ago
> Also, baking a cake isn’t normal? I mean, most people don’t do it often, but like you said most people can do it. Why is it special if I bake a cake as a blind person, but boring and normal if you do it?
I think you may have misunderstood me again. I think baking a cake is very normal. The way I see it, most people are definitely capable of baking a cake. However, those same people would struggle to bake a cake while wearing a blindfold. That’s something that you can do and I wouldn’t call that a “normal life thing.” While I do think that baking a cake is very normal I also think that baking a cake blindfolded is not.
> If I suddenly had full sight tomorrow, I wouldn’t know how to live sighted. There are sighted skills I’d have to learn, like making eye contact. Probably not quite as extreme a switch, seeing as I could still do many thing the blind way as a sighted person, when the reverse isn’t true. But there would still be a learning curve.
This is true, but let’s use an example to put it into perspective. I have no idea at all how you pay with cash being blind. While I assume it’s easy enough to keep track of which denominations you have on your person to start; I imagine you just have to trust that the person giving you your change is being honest. If you suddenly had full sight tomorrow, you really would have little to no learning curve to deal with this type of situation because now you could actually see what was being handed back to you. I know that other examples probably carry more of a learning curve than this one, but I agree with you that switching from sighted to blind would be more extreme of a change.
> But I’ve had strangers compliment me for navigating a route I took everyday, and it’s awkward and weird.
This is what is so interesting to me. If I put a blindfold on right now, the only place that I could navigate somewhat successfully would be my own home. If you asked me to navigate anywhere else, even something like a familiar route that I take everyday, I would not only probably get hurt but I would take forever doing it lol.
> But some reactions to my existence are still going to make me feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense?
Yes total sense but I think you also underestimate how hard it is for a sighted person to do something they normally do blind. You will always be impressive to us, even if you don’t impress yourself!
I think you may have misunderstood me again. I think baking a cake is very normal. The way I see it, most people are definitely capable of baking a cake. However, those same people would struggle to bake a cake while wearing a blindfold. That’s something that you can do and I wouldn’t call that a “normal life thing.” While I do think that baking a cake is very normal I also think that baking a cake blindfolded is not.
> If I suddenly had full sight tomorrow, I wouldn’t know how to live sighted. There are sighted skills I’d have to learn, like making eye contact. Probably not quite as extreme a switch, seeing as I could still do many thing the blind way as a sighted person, when the reverse isn’t true. But there would still be a learning curve.
This is true, but let’s use an example to put it into perspective. I have no idea at all how you pay with cash being blind. While I assume it’s easy enough to keep track of which denominations you have on your person to start; I imagine you just have to trust that the person giving you your change is being honest. If you suddenly had full sight tomorrow, you really would have little to no learning curve to deal with this type of situation because now you could actually see what was being handed back to you. I know that other examples probably carry more of a learning curve than this one, but I agree with you that switching from sighted to blind would be more extreme of a change.
> But I’ve had strangers compliment me for navigating a route I took everyday, and it’s awkward and weird.
This is what is so interesting to me. If I put a blindfold on right now, the only place that I could navigate somewhat successfully would be my own home. If you asked me to navigate anywhere else, even something like a familiar route that I take everyday, I would not only probably get hurt but I would take forever doing it lol.
> But some reactions to my existence are still going to make me feel uncomfortable. Does that make sense?
Yes total sense but I think you also underestimate how hard it is for a sighted person to do something they normally do blind. You will always be impressive to us, even if you don’t impress yourself!
NoClops 3 points 1y ago
But it IS normal.
hopesthoughts 4 points 1y ago
When am I going to be able to fly, then?
DCL_JD 3 points 1y ago
Never! That's just not your superpower!
Besides, there are a ton of other super powers other than flying.
Daredevil can't fly either so don't worry lol.
Besides, there are a ton of other super powers other than flying.
Daredevil can't fly either so don't worry lol.
hopesthoughts 2 points 1y ago
But I really, really, really want to!!!! Does that count for something?
NoClops 3 points 1y ago
We’re not, though. It’s not impressive; it’s my average, everyday reality.
claimsnthings 3 points 1y ago
You should read There Plant Eyes because not all blind people like to be called super heroes etc. m Leona godin is the author. She has some vids on youtube too
PS I’m sighted too. The book was incredibly informative and interesting.
PS I’m sighted too. The book was incredibly informative and interesting.
DCL_JD 2 points 1y ago
>You should read There Plant Eyes because not all blind people like to be called super heroes etc.
Thanks, I just searched it up! I'll be sure to check it out - it sounds interesting!!
But I don't think I called them heroes lol, that's a stretch. I said they have superpowers. You can have superpowers and still be a villain!!
Thanks, I just searched it up! I'll be sure to check it out - it sounds interesting!!
But I don't think I called them heroes lol, that's a stretch. I said they have superpowers. You can have superpowers and still be a villain!!
claimsnthings 4 points 1y ago
Haha oops I misread. Or mistyped? Who knows, it was early.
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