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Blind and Visually Impaired Community

Full History - 2021 - 10 - 02 - ID#pzxwvv
22
Advice on how to help my daughter bond with my blind mother (self.Blind)
submitted by overheadfool
My mother has been blind for as long as I can remember. It never really phased me as a child or an adult - that's just the way I've grown up. My mother is incredibly stoic and independent and just gets on with life, she's never (to my knowledge) let her condition get her down.

The only time I've really noticed it being a 'disability' is recently after I've had my daughter. My daughter is 4 years old and they've struggled to bond, my daughter is very wary of her despite my mother's best efforts. Obviously it's very difficult because my daughter is too young to really understand that my mother is limited in her capacity to play and engage with her.

She's never said anything to me but I can tell it gets my mother down a bit. If anybody has any advice or has had experiences with a similar situation I'd really love to hear your thoughts.
queengemini 4 points 1y ago
Does she read Braille ? Maybe you should get some braille/print books your mother can read to her as a bonding experience that also exposes your daughter to one item blindness entails.
overheadfool [OP] 2 points 1y ago
She does, this is a nice idea actually there must be some picture books with Braille aimed at children for this sort of thing. Thanks!
Iamheno 3 points 1y ago
What interests do the two of them share? If they have a common interest, say food, maybe they could prepare something together? Maybe your mom likes cooking but daughter likes play dough, grandma can make edible peanut butter play dough, then they can play/eat together? T.V. or movies with storylines they can discuss together can be good, I prefer British stuff as the stories seem better developed, and rely less on sight gags, or visual imagery, and dialogue helps to tell the story. When my kids were that age we all loved Pocoyo. My daughter still loves “helping” and “being my eyes”, maybe your daughter can do this for grandma sometime?
overheadfool [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Well she's four so her interests change when the wind blows! Movies/TV are all Disney and paw patrol at the moment, but yes all kids like baking things, I'll try this. As for 'The being my grandmother's eyes' thing - she's still a little young to understand the concept of her not seeing I think, she acknowledges it but doesn't really know what that means in practical terms. So we do ask her to take new toys to my mother so she can feel them and ask questions about them but my daughter's attention span is a little short for that plus being wary of her it can be a bit of an effort to get her to agree to it.
macadamia_owl 3 points 1y ago
Bonding with such young Kid is hard when you're blind/legally blind and kid is sighted due so few things that can be done together. My brother has daughter in same age that visit us very frequently due babysitter. We tried finding things we can do together that she enjoyed: Spending time together. I previously as sighted kid started really thinking about my grandfather full blindness first as i was hmm 4-5th grade? We visited him daily since Kindergarden, played with him, he taken care of us till parents came or grandmother his blindness was to me a feature rather an illness he was a local hero to me. I thought he can do literally everything and not seeing was totally abstract term to me an "impossible thing" because everyone other could see and if not they're were wearing glasses (he wasn't if course but he somehow did almost all stuff everybody did only read different books with Braille letters) untill i myself strated having minor eye problems then mojor i didn't understood at all altroygh i tried to simulate it by closing eyes and doing stuff like grandpa did because i was curious, i played with his cane, i touched braille, u walked in pitch black night without turning light on in the house since i was kid i covered eyes with hands and said "i can't see too"

Braille books but she had no patience of me listening as i read to her Braille books at all she prefer"normal books with pictures" where she can follow the story Braille ones are "boring" she tries learning letters so seeing them visually is important to her and she has many books with pictures at home

Doing simple things together: she likes to help me especially with sorting choltes by color no matter if shirts or matching socks to pair. She finds it's a great game if it's not too long and it's helpful.
Cooking "together" kid can "help" with safe stuff decorating cookies, cutting them out, cleaning surfaces before dinner, laying down spoons near plates for everyone oh and she feels so proud about it.

Singing, playing instruments building with Legos or similar bricks, sculpturing with clay (niece was amazed when i did little horse for her it had huge head 4 legs pointy ears but it was her favourite color), telling stories, playing with toys and stuffed toys, eating good food together, going to playground using swings, telling about the world cool stuff especially animals (universal topic), "watching" together tv - asking kid to explain what's happening. Classic pillow fight?
"Guess what's in the bag?" with random items and eyefold

There some sensory nob visual ideas on YT and Pinterest as well like at home experiments.
overheadfool [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Thanks for sharing your experiences, good to hear we're not the only ones that find it tricky! Some good ideas there I guess we just need to be patient and creative and it'll come naturally. Definitely going to try the bag game with a blindfold. I think my daughter would definitely enjoy the novelty of that. Cheers again
nkdeck07 3 points 1y ago
How often do you see your mother and how's your daughter with other people?
overheadfool [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Usually for a weekend every two months, we also usually spend a weeks holiday together once a year then Christmas of course. We live quite far apart and are quite busy so can't visit as often as perhaps we should. My daughter is quite slow to warm to people in general but quickly likes people that play with her. My grandfather is very popular with her as he can play all the games she likes to play
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