Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Advice on how to do Christmas? (self.Blind)
submitted by sevendayhigher
Hi everyone,
My husband is visually impaired, and we're trying to work out how to travel around Christmas time. He would like to do a 'rota' where we visit his family one year and mine the next, which in theory is absolutely fair, but where we live, no trains run on Christmas Day or the day after, so it would require me to drive to his family's place every other Christmas. The problem is that I'm a very nervous driver with ADHD, which makes it a very stressful and a bit of a dangerous experience when I drive.
I really want my husband to be happy, but the issue is that it puts a lot of pressure on me to 'be the driver' every other year on really busy roads, and it's going to make me dread every other Christmas to be honest. I've suggested that we host Christmas Day at ours each year, and welcome anyone in the family who'd like to come. Of course, around that day, we'll travel on the trains to see family as normal, but just on the day itself, it would mean that I wouldn't have to drive and be anxious all day. However, he's really insistent that we do the one year at his folks thing, one year at mine.
I would really love to learn some ways that you guys do Christmas/family visits? I'd also love to know whether you think that sometimes things like this do have to be a bit different because of a visual impairment?
I'm also completely open to being wrong about this, and being told that actually it's just one of those things I need to suck up and do! At the end of the day, I want my husband to be happy first and foremost, but I just worry that this could cause some tension between us because I can't ignore how anxious I am about it.
Thanks so much!
My husband is visually impaired, and we're trying to work out how to travel around Christmas time. He would like to do a 'rota' where we visit his family one year and mine the next, which in theory is absolutely fair, but where we live, no trains run on Christmas Day or the day after, so it would require me to drive to his family's place every other Christmas. The problem is that I'm a very nervous driver with ADHD, which makes it a very stressful and a bit of a dangerous experience when I drive.
I really want my husband to be happy, but the issue is that it puts a lot of pressure on me to 'be the driver' every other year on really busy roads, and it's going to make me dread every other Christmas to be honest. I've suggested that we host Christmas Day at ours each year, and welcome anyone in the family who'd like to come. Of course, around that day, we'll travel on the trains to see family as normal, but just on the day itself, it would mean that I wouldn't have to drive and be anxious all day. However, he's really insistent that we do the one year at his folks thing, one year at mine.
I would really love to learn some ways that you guys do Christmas/family visits? I'd also love to know whether you think that sometimes things like this do have to be a bit different because of a visual impairment?
I'm also completely open to being wrong about this, and being told that actually it's just one of those things I need to suck up and do! At the end of the day, I want my husband to be happy first and foremost, but I just worry that this could cause some tension between us because I can't ignore how anxious I am about it.
Thanks so much!
lvlint67 5 points 1y ago
> I would really love to learn some ways that you guys do Christmas/family visits?
Best way? Christmas eve / Christmas day are household christmas. Visit the larger family some other day. The best compromise is to spend christmas together and push the stress of traveling and visiting to a less busy day. Everyone should be happier for it.
Best way? Christmas eve / Christmas day are household christmas. Visit the larger family some other day. The best compromise is to spend christmas together and push the stress of traveling and visiting to a less busy day. Everyone should be happier for it.
codeplaysleep 2 points 1y ago
100%, this is just the easier/best way to do Christmas. Pretty much every adult I know, able-bodied or otherwise, does it like this, especially those with kids of their own.
niamhweking 2 points 1y ago
Not for VI reasons, but when we had out first kid I stated we would do Xmas day at home, our home (like the childhood Xmases I would have had). Due to me working in hotels and my husband farming, my sister working in airport we knew 26th was the only day all my family would be free so we go to my moms that day and my inlaws on the 27th, yes they might grumble about it but my point it noone in his family work so finding a day that suits all my family is a bit harder than for their family where noone is juggling work/shifts.
And while the every second year is a lovely idea, it doesn't always work out depending on those involved.
And while the every second year is a lovely idea, it doesn't always work out depending on those involved.
retrolental_morose 4 points 1y ago
neither of us can drive, so we budget for a taxi. it's stupidly expensive, but we set aside a small part of our income each month knowing it's coming
OldManOnFire 3 points 1y ago
My wife is also a nervous driver. When I showed her your post and asked for her input she said she'd look for alternate, less busy roads. The drive might take longer but escaping the stress would be worth it.
Please remember you and your husband aren't the only ones involved. Consider letting his family in on this by asking them to offer to visit like it's their idea. He won't want you to drive him there if they're already where you are.
Good luck!
Please remember you and your husband aren't the only ones involved. Consider letting his family in on this by asking them to offer to visit like it's their idea. He won't want you to drive him there if they're already where you are.
Good luck!
EffectiveYak0 2 points 1y ago
Take a train, or if you have to drive try to plan ways to make your drive less stressful. Take less congested roads if you can. Take breaks and make the drive more enjoyable. Get some of your favorite candy to eat while you're on the way. Take a country road (if it's safe) and listen to an audio book (if it's safe).
I think you can use google maps to show you the traffic conditions based on time you're going to be on the road. Maybe you can make a pit stop during peak times if its a long trip and therefore avoid a lot of the stressful traffic.
Hope this helps. Good luck!
I think you can use google maps to show you the traffic conditions based on time you're going to be on the road. Maybe you can make a pit stop during peak times if its a long trip and therefore avoid a lot of the stressful traffic.
Hope this helps. Good luck!
Apprehensive_Art3339 2 points 1y ago
Is there a reason you can’t travel by train before Xmas and after Xmas? I hate traveling on busy days like the Wednesday before thanksgiving so I would sometimes just take a few days off and go earlier and/or later. As a person with a VI, being around those who I know well in familiar environments is something I look forward to doing. Being in unfamiliar places with people who aren’t used to helping me can be mentally exhausting and stressful. If your husband hasn’t spent much time with your family or at your family‘a homes, that is a lot of mental energy he’s expending to orient himself and possibly feeling like a burden because he can’t do some things on his own and has to ask your family for assistance. Something to consider from his side. He may not tell you any of this because it’s really hard to share, even with a partner.
WorldlyLingonberry40 1 points 1y ago
How about traveling a day earlier and a day later? If you stay at a relative's home the trip might be more comfortable for you.
niamhweking 1 points 1y ago
Could the furthest away extended family come to you every second xmas? And saves you doing a drive you don't enjoy
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