Because it makes them uncomfortable. But they don’t say this only to disabled people. My overweight cousin and my 35yo single older sister get the same comments. We do have a disadvantage but it doesn’t define us. I never had trouble dating, I think I have a good “jerk” filter and I don’t go out with people who make me feel uncomfortable. People refuse to admit a lot of things, we live in an egotistical world, don’t let this discourage you.

I've heard those exact words said to me, and I see just fine. I mean, if you looked at my 'stats' on paper, tall, fit, smart, well employed, kinda goofy looking...it should be reasonable to think I'd be in the ballpark for a lot of people. It didn't feel that way though, in my experience of dating. When I heard people say this, it made me feel a similar way to what you describe, though - like, what, just any regular person isn't going to like me, it will need to be someone special?

Then...what do you know, I found someone special. *Someone special to ME*

This person is now the entire focus of my interest in ALL people. This person is someone special, and I don't care what anybody else thinks. It's *me* that thinks this person is special, not society.

This is what my Mom meant when she said this. She had found someone special, too.

My guess is that those people are in denial due to their own prejudices against the disabled, as they don't want to admit that they would never date a disabled person. I've been in that situation too many times to count, and in my experience either you are regarded as worthless due to your disability or, if they happen to know you are actually successful in life, they don't want to be regarded as someone who depends on a disabled provider.

I found someone special. Not special, as in, someone to coddle and take care of me, nor in the sense that only a special person would want me. But special in the sense that this person complements me (he also compliments me, too, which is nice). We share interests. We make a good team. We make each other laugh. So yeah, he’s my special person, and that’s why I’m going to marry him.

I think that there are several special people out there for everyone (none of this “one true love” bullshit), but there’s ALOT of people in the world, so finding one of those people who complement you can be exceedingly difficult. And yeah, being blind doesn’t make the situation easier. I was talking about this with my fiancé last night, and I can’t think of a time in the 14 years we’ve been together that anyone else has shown interest in me; I have no idea whether my being blind curbed potential interest, or if I just missed any cues through not seeing them or generally being oblivious. Luckily, as I’d already found a special person, I wasn’t particularly looking, either.

Dating is hard. Finding someone who is the right kind of special for you is hard. Even fully sighted people find it difficult. And yeah, it’s harder for someone who is disabled because there’s a whole host of misconceptions to get over as well. But I do think there several special someones out there for everyone (who wants to find one; some people are happy single, and you’re awesome, too). It really isn’t meant to be condescending. Just some people fit better together than others, and you, too can find that special fit one day.

Although, I imagine there probably are some people who are condescending and assume any “normal” person wouldn’t date a blind guy, because some people have a lot of unexamined ableism (or are just assholes, because people).

I know of blind people who are married even those with children. Im (legally) blind and I have a boyfriend though I cannot say that if my relationship would fail that I would be confident that someone else would wanna be with me. I understand how everyone is feeling, but there are people out there who are totally fine with dating blind people. I do think there is someone for everyone. I really do and I know its annoying to hear it but I think its true.

One youtuber I watch said that he dated online to meet people and wouldnt disclose he was blind until they met in person. A lot of people are adverse to the idea of having to take care of their partner, while many may not have a real problem with it. But it is up to you to dispell their prejudiced views and misconceptions and show them that blind people can be independent and do not require as much help as they think. I do think itts probably much harder for blind guys but its not impossible. And even if you did require some help or care there are people out there willing to do that too.

Its hard for a lot of people to find someone so having a disability of course makes it even harder, but everyone has thought to themselves thatthey might die alone but most dont and I think thats true for blind people too.

There really is this weird absurdity that people want to comfort someone instead of recognize, acknowledge, then reflect.

I'd rather hear " that sounds rough. " then a " there's someone out there for everyone " what is this a fairy tale? Feed it to someone else.


Dude I feel your pain by the way. Thanksgiving comes around. Family members are talking. I'm doing fine in the conversations, not a star player but at least in the game. Then the conversation gets to marriage. To keep it light I said " mail order one when the time comes "

Wish they took the sign cause the conversation then became all about serious conversations and wanting family line to continue. Yeah. The family line with the blind Gene's.

Idk tbh. If anything I kinda want to get married. Just so I'm not the old blind guy who's alone. Not to get personal.

I understand your feelings. I am 30, totally blind, and all the crushes I had never worked out. I have a few friends who are married or living together that type of thing, and then I have a few who are not interested in finding anyone and are just comfortable with themselves. I hope to find someone but I also just hope to be a strong member of my community.

It does. Truth is most wldnt want to b stuck w a disabled esp if the disabled is unable to earn his:her own keep. It might be easier if someone became disabled along the way w someone. Won’t kid u,its tough n feels like life stacked against us but all u need to know is live for yourself n be comfortable with being alone n if someone special really comes along then good but if no one drops by then “fuck this shit,im ok alone” rem this is but one life of many lifetimes,make the best of this life to the best of your abilities,do no harm,do not be bitter or turn angry,everyone is fighting their own personal battles. I came from a very dark place and im not yet out of the woods but im trying.

I wound up hooking up with an old coworker for a bit. We were talking about how he had at one point made a comment about crushing on so many people at work, but never me. He admitted that before we started hanging out, he was under the misconception that I was incapable. Of what exactly, I’m not sure. He talked about how absolutely surprised he was that I didn’t need his help with getting around my house while he was over. He was rather dense, as I’m confused how he could be so ignorant after seeing me be capable at work. Point is, he was one of those with total ignorance and a negative attitude. The longer we spent in the hook up space, the more he crushed on me. He eventually asked me out, but I bluntly declined. I’m not sure that part matters to my story, but point is, he wasn’t special; I didn’t need him. I did find my special and we are happily married. He forgets I’m blind all the time!

This, so much this. Plus many of us have other things besides vision loss. In my case, I'm touch averse, body fluid repulsed, and unjabbed by choice.

The good thing in my case is that I've just become being OK with all of it. I tried, got so far, and found no one. Now accepted that I'll be alone, happy being this way, and even if someone wanted me, I'd second question it. Could just be my relationship anxiety, though.

For everyone else trying, please know that some of us totally understand, and wish y'all nothing but the best. 💛

Have you considered dating another blind person?