Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Need support in adjusting! (self.Blind)
submitted by Virtual-Scratch3633
Hi, I am a 30 year old woman with ushers (hard of hearing all my life & now night blindness)
Just coming to terms with this emotionally, feel I need support out of the house in the evenings. Got myself a white cane.
Did anyone feel self conscious about using this for the few first times? I'm not scared as such, but feel uneasy about it. I know it's their for a reason, and I am trying to embrace the changes and adjustments, I'm just finding it tricky.
This is genetic apparently but no one in my family suffers from this, so I am truly alone. People can state they understand but I feel they can only guess the fear.
I masked the true extent of my blindness from a lot of people, out of denial I think but now I know I have to accept it and live my life, I am only 30, I want to see the world (in daylight hours of course!)
Did anyone out there suffer the same? And would you be able to share your hints & tips & story's to how you accepted this?
Sorry for the long post & please be gentle!
Just coming to terms with this emotionally, feel I need support out of the house in the evenings. Got myself a white cane.
Did anyone feel self conscious about using this for the few first times? I'm not scared as such, but feel uneasy about it. I know it's their for a reason, and I am trying to embrace the changes and adjustments, I'm just finding it tricky.
This is genetic apparently but no one in my family suffers from this, so I am truly alone. People can state they understand but I feel they can only guess the fear.
I masked the true extent of my blindness from a lot of people, out of denial I think but now I know I have to accept it and live my life, I am only 30, I want to see the world (in daylight hours of course!)
Did anyone out there suffer the same? And would you be able to share your hints & tips & story's to how you accepted this?
Sorry for the long post & please be gentle!
Richelledotmp3 4 points 1y ago
Hey I know it’s hard to adjust to having a white cane but I found it really helps.
I’m legally blind since birth but started using a white cane a year ago because I felt like it would help since I have to travel more with school and just hanging out with friends. I had some lessons in using it and in crossing roads. The first few times it was weird walking by myself with a white cane but after a few times I realised it’s helping me in places I don’t know or when I can’t see something. Sometimes I use it to signal to others in the area that I’m visually impaired. People are more willing to help and don’t mind if it takes you a little longer to do something. I know how it feels like to have people stare at you because you use a white cane but my parents always told me that everyone has something and with keeping that in mind I think you can get used to it don’t be scared because in the end using a white cane will help you
I’m legally blind since birth but started using a white cane a year ago because I felt like it would help since I have to travel more with school and just hanging out with friends. I had some lessons in using it and in crossing roads. The first few times it was weird walking by myself with a white cane but after a few times I realised it’s helping me in places I don’t know or when I can’t see something. Sometimes I use it to signal to others in the area that I’m visually impaired. People are more willing to help and don’t mind if it takes you a little longer to do something. I know how it feels like to have people stare at you because you use a white cane but my parents always told me that everyone has something and with keeping that in mind I think you can get used to it don’t be scared because in the end using a white cane will help you
stickman0505 2 points 1y ago
Yep I have RP. It was tough using the cane at first, I felt like everybody was staring at me. I got used to it real quick. I need it, I bumped into some big shots girlfriend at the casino here in CT. The guy was drunk and wanted to kill me, he saw the cane and shut up. It helps my friend. I used to bump into people, the cane takes care of all the crap you need to tell someone the reason for plowing into them. They see the can, enough said. I feel much more comfortable with it, I don't leave home without it! It lets other people know I'm visually impaired. Good luck!!
HeftyCryptographer21 2 points 1y ago
I definitely get it. I have Usher Syndrome too, except I am totally Deaf and a lot younger than you. I am still getting used to using my cane even though I have been using it for a few years now. I didn't use it consistently in high school, and only now that I am in university am I starting to feel more comfortable with it. If you have any specific questions, let me know!
Lonely_Cycle_1059 2 points 1y ago
I’m in the same situation only a tad older. Never got a white cane and I don’t plan to for now, maybe in the future, atm Uber and my fiancé are my saviors at nighttime. How I accepted it? By not focusing about it. I have a lot to care about, a demanding job that I love, friends, hobbies etc, ushers is like a side thing that bothers me daily but I take it as it is. I never let it define me, very few people know about it as I can manage fine during the day. Had a few accidents and bumps but that’s life. Most of the people around me just think I’m a very clumsy person and I won’t bother to disclose my disability until I will need special accommodation or more help. It’s gonna be ok just don’t let it define you.
QuentinJamesP89 1 points 1y ago
I felt very embarrassed and awkward about using a cane at first, and tried to get away with not using it except when I was out alone. A few months ago I missed a step and fell quite hard in front of several people. I wasn't seriously injured (I just gashed my forehead but there was blood everywhere), but it scared people, especially my wife, and was extremely embarrassing. After that I promised my wife to start using the cane more regularly. I did, and I'm so glad. It has completely changed my life. I just can't emphasize enough how much safer, more confident, and more independent I feel in public and how much more understanding I've gotten from others. I wish I hadn't let my awkwardness and desperation to cling onto the appearance of sightedness keep me from using it earlier.
Virtual-Scratch3633 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Oh I'm sorry to hear you had a fall, but relieved it wasn't serious. I nearly knocked over an elderly and that was so heart breaking for me, but the final straw! It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in my feelings, the cane users I've seen appear so confident and strong, it's a stepping stone I know just not one I want to go through alone..
Virtual-Scratch3633 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
I have decided to use a cane because denial hurts, the amount of Bins, poles & people I've walked into cannot be counted.
The final straw was getting off the bus and side swiping an elderly person, I felt so guilty and I knew steps needed to be taken.
I do have one question that is really bugging me, why do the street lamps face away from the path but to the road?
The final straw was getting off the bus and side swiping an elderly person, I felt so guilty and I knew steps needed to be taken.
I do have one question that is really bugging me, why do the street lamps face away from the path but to the road?
Virtual-Scratch3633 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
I have no questions as such...
This is personal to me but the part I hate the most is the looks/comments I've received when I am on the bus and I whip out Mrs Gadget (this is what my son calls it, so the name stuck!) because I know I will require it the second I get off the bus, and those small comments or looks bother me. It also happens from transition from darkness to the bright lights of Sainsbury's. I am aware it's just ignorance or mis-informed people that do this. Without being rude (I'm told I'm not the most subtle at times!) I just wish people would be more informed.
I know everyone's perception and attitude is different and I shouldn't let this bother me as such, but it is the thing I dread when I spy a shop that isn't my local one or catching the bus home from work etc.
I need to overcome this, I know that. I just don't know how.
This is personal to me but the part I hate the most is the looks/comments I've received when I am on the bus and I whip out Mrs Gadget (this is what my son calls it, so the name stuck!) because I know I will require it the second I get off the bus, and those small comments or looks bother me. It also happens from transition from darkness to the bright lights of Sainsbury's. I am aware it's just ignorance or mis-informed people that do this. Without being rude (I'm told I'm not the most subtle at times!) I just wish people would be more informed.
I know everyone's perception and attitude is different and I shouldn't let this bother me as such, but it is the thing I dread when I spy a shop that isn't my local one or catching the bus home from work etc.
I need to overcome this, I know that. I just don't know how.
Trick-Regret-493 1 points 1y ago
I definitely did feel self-conscious about my can e at first. Now I like carrying it, it took about a year to adjust to accepting it and wanting it but this is a good supportive community here. Sorry you are dealing with what you're dealing with, but it will be okay. I've been dealing with this for about a year last year I felt like this was a death sentence. Now I am happier and living a more fulfilling life than I ever was fully sited. I did go through a period of grief but then I said this is the new me, there's no changing it so I meant as well embrace it.
This community has been very open and helpful, glad you found it here.
This community has been very open and helpful, glad you found it here.
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