Nobody tells you how you're supposed to feel when you go blind. There's no instruction manual to follow. The people around us have no clue what we're going through. It's confusing, it's scary, and it's incredibly lonely.

One day you're kicking ass in your career, respected in your industry, proud of the work you do, and an important part of your team. People need you. They depend on you and put a lot of responsibility on your shoulders because they know you'll get it done. Then BAM! No more driver's license, no more job, no more feeling necessary. You're suddenly pitied instead of respected, and instead of everyone depending on you, now you depend on everyone.

It doesn't occur to most people you're grieving the loss of your eyesight, and it never occurs to anyone you're simultaneously grieving the loss of your potential, your identity, and your purpose.

I've often said the hardest part of going blind is the emotional part. It certainly was for me.

Really, when I think about it, I'd be more worried about someone who didn't get a little fucked up when they got the diagnosis. Anyone who can just shrug off that their life will never be the same is, like the kids say, sus. Something like that should shake you out of your emotional comfort zone.

But it gets easier.

If you're like me then being Employee of the Month was your identity. Losing my vision meant the loss of my identity, and yeah, going through that was about as hard as you'd expect. But it led me somewhere different. I am not my job. I am not my performance review. I am not my disability. I am not my blindness. I am me.

And I'm okay.

Your eyes don't need to work to justify your existence. Neither do you. You're just as worthy in the passenger seat as you were in the driver's seat. You're as necessary today as you were a year ago. You deserve respect for who you are, not just for what you can do. You're whole, you're complete, and you're loved.

Blind lives matter.

It might take some time to accept that. It did for me. That's okay. We're not in a race except the human race. And each of us is handicapped, some just more visibly than others.

Can't say I'm doing good, but I've learned to accept life this way.

I went blind 7 years ago due to glaucoma, and for the first 5 of those years all I wanted was to die. Like you I also disconnected from my friends, who were mostly people I met on the Internet over the years since the 90s who shared my interest in programming. I did isolate myself from pretty much everyone I used to know except my closest family out of shame.

Fortunately I never lost my interest in programming, but wouldn't even try to do it blind since I thought I wasn't good enough to succeed and would feel frustrated. However, in an attempt to teach my niece how to code, I actually made a small iOS video-game in just one month, exceeding pretty much all my expectations by a huge margin and regaining confidence to code again, resulting in a huge morale improvement.

coding is how I spend all my free time now; it's far from perfect though, since I'm yet to reach my pre-blindness level of competence despite actually knowing much more than I did back then. Not only that but I also miss the visual experience itself, as well as having the ability to replay old games like Dungeon Keeper, Deus Ex, The Elder Scrolls series, the Grand Theft Auto series, and classic World of Warcraft, but at least I can no longer complain of not having anything to do all day.

I'm also in the process of preparing myself to integrate the job market again, as I think I found a niche developing server-side software in Rust as well as MacOS and iOS applications, and am currently in the process of developing an online game using those technologies that I hope will be enough of a portfolio to impress recruiters in spite of my blindness.

I'm not gonna tell you that everything is going to be alright just because I found a way to tolerate life blind, but from my experience it's possible.

Hey op. I'm 34 and went completely blind very suddenly in 2019. I ended up getting a bit back, but still very visually impaired. I went through the same feelings. It's okay. Allow yourself to grieve.

I found that learning how to use a screen reader really made me feel much more empowered and connected. I was able to pick up new hobbies over time as well. It's going to take time, but you can do this.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. If you live in the United States check and see if your state has a disability services department they may have resources they could point you to. There is an IRC server for chatting connected with this sub but I haven't used it. O&M training would help you get out more.

I feel your pain, OP. I've been struggling with vision loss from advanced retinopathy and photophobia I was DX'd with about 3 years ago. Earlier this year, I lost right eye to the disease and now home from work waiting for blood to clear out of left eye. As time passes, my chances of retaining to my job drop and I fear I'll lose my job at the beginning of next year some time.

The depression sucks a big one. The hopelessness from the situation is very real and I sincerely emphasize with you. Like you, I feel very cut off and left behind watching everyone else around me go do what they want while I sit at home watching another day go by hoping I can return to work soon. Plus, the prospect of having to find another job that is willing to work with my visual impairments is going to hit very hard.

Is there a vision rehab center near you? If so, they may be able to offer counseling and a support group. The one in my city has those available, I have not taken advantage of either one, yet, because eyes weren't bad enough then to need them.

I hope you can find the help you need and take solace in knowing that going blind isn't the end of everything, but rather the beginning of a new chapter. Good luck!

I think it's worth saying, that the "99% of people around you having a normal life" is so, so far from the truth.

I found that finding just one or two particularly compassionate people, really helped me. Not everyone's wants to nor needs to hear the extent of your troubles. But those very few who will give you that undivided attention, find them and keep them close.

Don't give up on yourself! Your life continues and it's up to you to choose how it will continue from this moment on.
In the words of Ichiro Kishimi from his incredible book "the courage to be disliked": The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.

Look and see if there are ACB or CCLVI chapters in your state/area. Most of them meet through Zoom and it’s a great way to feel connected while you wait for services to settle in.

I think a lot of the services that'll help you will mostly be localized. Reach out to the local blind community if you can. I know that that's what turned me around back when I was going through what you're going through right now. I'd highly recommend signing up for some orientation and mobility lessons as well. It's not easy but with practice, you can genuinely become pretty independent.

​

Best of luck with your journey. I promise it gets a lot better

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/11/211124154118.htm