Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Advice for Boyfriend Who is Unsure How to Play with and Take Care of Babies and Toddlers? (self.Blind)
submitted by iwokeuplike
Hi all, I'm not sure how to word the title better
My boyfriend, who is blind, is very apprehensive around young kids because he doesn't know how to bond with them if he can't see them/their facial expressions/what they are playing with and he doesn't trust himself to watch over them if they are toddling about.
We are not sure if we will have kids but I'm open to the idea and his biggest concern is him taking care of a toddler and not being able to see if they are doing something unsafe. I also have young cousins who don't talk yet that we visit often and he wants to engage with them but isn't sure how when they are shy.
What could you recommend my boyfriend do to engage with babies that can't talk with him? They watch him do stuff and he will talk to them but he isn't really confident at all. Or what can I tell him to boost his confidence?
Can you tell me about what it has been like taking care of toddlers and what advice you'd have for that as well?
Thank you in advance!
My boyfriend, who is blind, is very apprehensive around young kids because he doesn't know how to bond with them if he can't see them/their facial expressions/what they are playing with and he doesn't trust himself to watch over them if they are toddling about.
We are not sure if we will have kids but I'm open to the idea and his biggest concern is him taking care of a toddler and not being able to see if they are doing something unsafe. I also have young cousins who don't talk yet that we visit often and he wants to engage with them but isn't sure how when they are shy.
What could you recommend my boyfriend do to engage with babies that can't talk with him? They watch him do stuff and he will talk to them but he isn't really confident at all. Or what can I tell him to boost his confidence?
Can you tell me about what it has been like taking care of toddlers and what advice you'd have for that as well?
Thank you in advance!
retrolental_morose 10 points 1y ago
I'm a totally blind dad. had no real intention of becoming a father until it happened and hadd very limited experience with kids previously.
It turned out to be pretty doable. Kids love comfort and company, being sung to, thrown about, walked, tickled and generally played with is fine until they're walking. After that, they can lead the way a little - mine would bring me her favourite books, toys etc. As she got older We'd jam on the piano, run around at the park, go see kids movies in the cinema in the afternoons when it was dirt cheap and almost empty, go ten-pin bowling(after she could count to 10 of course;I couldn't see the pins). And short trips to the grocery store, the butchers, sweet shops and bakeries, stationers and post office, library, doctors, pharmacy and vet kept her mind active. I couldn't do a whole family grocery shop, we had too much food for me to manage with a child in tow, but popping in for a few items got her the idea of retail etc.
The only real approach that I believe will work in the long term is continued exposure. it's hard if anxiety gets in the way, but the reality is that eye contact and facial expressions can't be necessary, because I and presumably thousands of other blind parents manage without them just fine.
It turned out to be pretty doable. Kids love comfort and company, being sung to, thrown about, walked, tickled and generally played with is fine until they're walking. After that, they can lead the way a little - mine would bring me her favourite books, toys etc. As she got older We'd jam on the piano, run around at the park, go see kids movies in the cinema in the afternoons when it was dirt cheap and almost empty, go ten-pin bowling(after she could count to 10 of course;I couldn't see the pins). And short trips to the grocery store, the butchers, sweet shops and bakeries, stationers and post office, library, doctors, pharmacy and vet kept her mind active. I couldn't do a whole family grocery shop, we had too much food for me to manage with a child in tow, but popping in for a few items got her the idea of retail etc.
The only real approach that I believe will work in the long term is continued exposure. it's hard if anxiety gets in the way, but the reality is that eye contact and facial expressions can't be necessary, because I and presumably thousands of other blind parents manage without them just fine.
iwokeuplike [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Thank you! This is helpful for him to hear, I appreciate you taking the time to write so much for me!
retrolental_morose 1 points 1y ago
We also did a session at a local elementary school on blindness. We took in eye-masks and loaned a batch of children's white canes, got the kids to distinguish things by touch rather than looking, gave them all braille name labels for their shirts, showed off text-to-speech software, tactile watches, talking scales and so on. The finale was a walk with a guide dog, which was the highlight. I had kids graduated after 8 years still talking about that afternoon. it really burst the barrier that you can't talk about blindness, and every time my wife or I saw one of those kids in the street they'd always address us by name, let us know who they were, and if they ever offered to guide had the right technique. it clearly made a lasting impression and was a hugely fun afternoon.
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