I shrugged it off for as long as I maintained the ability to read, but once I went totally blind and realized that my vision wasn't coming back I became suicidal. This lasted for 5 years until I figured that I could still code blind. Programming is my only real interest in life, and the thought of living without being able to produce software really affected me. I knew that there were blind programmers out there all along, but thought I lacked the skill to deal with the mental drag caused by doing it without sight.

I'm the kind of person who likes to feel in control at all times, and blindness brought a lot of uncertainty to my life that I still have some trouble dealing with because I hate to be on my toes in any situation, so I'm not very independent by default. I've been trained in rehabilitation, and I do know that I can fend for myself, but I'm too insecure to try it when I have my family around to take care of me.

I’ve never had perfect vision, but my sight has gotten worse over the years. I cry sometimes and throw little pity parties but I don’t let myself wallow too much, only when something really frustrates me. I feel like if I pity myself for something I can’t change, I’ll have a terrible time going through life feeling like shit all the time so I try to make the best of it and use it as a learning opportunity for others.

Was it mine? Lol I posted one myself around the same time.

For me it's hard. I have good days and bad days. I'm learning to accept it. I know part of it for me is the knowing that it didn't have to get this bad. But I couldn't afford treatment. So it got worse. And ive been angry.

Growing up I always heard how America is the greatest country in the world. But what's great about not having affordable Healthcare? Whats great about not earning enough to be able to afford going to the doctor? What's great about watching your vision deteriorate because your government doesn't care about the people.

I have insurance now, so I've been able to start going to the doctor, but the vision loss isn't reversible. And I still can't afford to have the surgery to get the scar tissue removed. I just started therapy to help me work through and deal with what's going on, but I think a part of me will always be angry.

Badly, depressed, no real motivation for anything.

Although I'm not totally blind, I've suffered enough vision loss over the past 2.5 years to be down to 50% in left eye only. Behind the scenes, this has put me through a rollercoaster of emotions. Seems like whenever something new happens to cause further deterioration, I'm riding that rollercoaster again for a while. However, when I'm around others, they can't tell. I've been told by a few family members that I appear to be handling things well.

I feel much of this journey would have been much easier to handle if I were not dealing with it alone.

Hrm. I’m not exactly sure how I’ve dealt with it. Congenital glaucoma, I’ve always had terrible vision and correction was/is difficult at best. Growing up was difficult with super thick glasses, teachers were told to be helpful and rarely were. I was eventually placed in the ‘special education’ group because I couldn’t function in many classrooms. My schools were ‘progressive’, the blackboards were light gray with blue chalk. I did not do well, did at least graduate. Now, 30y later, I’m a Unix sysadmin, I have 1 “working” that corrects to > 20/200, and extreme cataracts ( complete loss of vision In the right eye in 2014).

My sight is getting progressively worse due to cataracts, but due to the high number of surgeries as a child, doctors are unwilling to chance doing a replacement lens. I may have an option at the local university med center, but Covid is keeping that option far away, and they not know if it will work or help.

Very frustrated, bitter, angry. I keep trying to do things that I know aren’t going to turn out how I want. When I turned 40 (48 now), I decided to learn how to airbrush. Dumb. Then I got into woodworking… power tools aren’t a great idea with no depth perception and inability to see measuring marks. I want to build guitars, but it’s just not in the cards. I still work, my employer has indicated they’ll do everything they can to keep me even if / when I totally lose the remainder of my sight.

Still frustrating, still bitter, still angry. I try to keep it in check, but it just takes one “time for glasses!” comment from some assclown to spin me right back around.

I realize I’m lucky in that I have insurance and have some small sight left, I have a supportive family and employer. Doesn’t help when I start spiraling into the bitter.

I went completely blind for about four months. Doctors couldn't tell me how much vision if any that I was going to get back. It was hard, and I for sure had moments where I felt like I contemplated ending my life if I wasn't going to get any vision back. But really I found that learning how to use a screen reader and listening to a lot of inspiring and interesting podcasts help distract me enough to get me level and allowed some vision to heal as well.

I still get sad from time to time because I can't do a lot of the things that I loved doing before losing vision, but I am glad I'm lucky enoguh to be alive. If not for my vision loss I'd probably be a dead man.

Unfortunately, my wife turned to alcohol. She had worked all her life and eventually she had to give up her license as her vision got worse (progressive cone dystrophy). She did have some good resources and learned braille and had a mobility coach for cane training. The only job they could steer her to was folding laundry next to some really mentally handicapped people that she used to supervise when she ran group homes. She just couldn't do it. The depression of losing sight coupled with boredom led her to drink. Eventually, she became physically addicted. Like she would get the shakes, start to hallucinate , and become violently ill when she would try and stop. (Pro tip: if you're physically addicted to alcohol don't try and stop on your own. It can literally kill you. Go see a doctor ). She eventually signed into a detox program at a local hospital. After the program and seeing a counselor, I'm happy to say she hasn't had any alcohol in 3 years. It sucka but she has also become more at peace with the inevitable shrinking eyesight. I think the counselor helped. She was definitely more depressed in the early stages of vision loss (her loss started at age 30). She's thrown herself into housekeeping, working with our kid on education, and goes out of her way to help friends. She will often babysit to help out friends. She's found purpose again in all these activities. Even though there were hard times, our family is coping and taking it as it comes.

I was 8 when I lost all of it and didn’t have much to begin with. I suppose I knew when the end was, I knew I was losing it, but I am the type that just deals with things, and surpresses feelings and just deal with it. Most people think I handled it just fine. But not sure. Maybe I had thoughts that I didn’t tell people. I didn’t have much sight by 5 or 6 so at that point I’ve been doing things the blind way anyway, braille, was way way underway, I was not taught print, and stuff. I was taught to use a cane since I was 5 or so.

I did miss things like riding a tricycle. Driving a little kids go cart wreklessly to b funny. And such.

OMG, what a scary experience. Glad to know that you and your partner managed to recover back from that horrible experience.

I became blind at the age of 1, so, personally it didn't affect me I suppose. More or less I am like a born blind person, with little vision sufficient enough to navigate in appropriate lighting conditions independently.

Depressed thoughts, Yeah, I have them when things go wrong. But I think I have a personality where I just refuse to ponder over defeats for long, so a bit of cursing and may be breaking things, I get back to work. Talking to people, disabled or no disabled also helped me. Sometimes, one just needs a listening ear, to things to pore in to, to thoughts to communicate with. And, Lol, a online place where you can read about fellow blind people, ask for help, help others, also helps. :D

Slowly and horribly but it was worth it.