Blind and Visually Impaired Community
↑
18
↓
Glaring and eye rolling (self.Blind)
submitted by the_orca_jungle
Two things I don’t understand about sighted people. I know why they do it and I’ve tried to do it many times to no avail, but it sounds silly to me whenever someone tries to explain it.
The first time I learned eye rolling was a thing, I kinda freaked out because there were probably a lot of times that had happened to me and I didn’t know it. I even tried practicing it in a mirror which was a semi-fail.
Same with glaring and giving people “side eye” I will say it is a creative way of expressing relational aggression, but as a non confrontational person (and a blind person obviously), I haven’t been able to make use of either.
I used to get kinda mad about that sort of stuff. Almost like there was another thing sighted people could do that I couldn’t, like some strange inside joke.
But I don’t really care anymore. I am now at peace with my eyeball abilities.
The first time I learned eye rolling was a thing, I kinda freaked out because there were probably a lot of times that had happened to me and I didn’t know it. I even tried practicing it in a mirror which was a semi-fail.
Same with glaring and giving people “side eye” I will say it is a creative way of expressing relational aggression, but as a non confrontational person (and a blind person obviously), I haven’t been able to make use of either.
I used to get kinda mad about that sort of stuff. Almost like there was another thing sighted people could do that I couldn’t, like some strange inside joke.
But I don’t really care anymore. I am now at peace with my eyeball abilities.
Tarnagona 8 points 1y ago
I remember mentioning that I didn’t know what eye rolling looked like, so my friend helpfully got two inches in front of my face, and rolled her eyes at me so I could see. Which is when I realized, upon trying to imitate it, that it’s something I already did, without realizing that’s what I was doing.
I’m not exactly sure what a glare looks like, but I know it’s something else I also do, as I know what it feels like to glare.
I think my face makes a lot of expressions that I’m not really aware of, and probably telegraphs more if what I’m feeling than I’d like, but it’s also not really something I can change because I don’t know what facial expressions really look like, except in the broadest sense. I learned basic facial expressions as a kid using emoji stickers before emoji were actually a thing.
The one thing I just cannot grok, no matter how many times it’s described to me is eye contact. When people talk about locking eyes from across the room, to me, all I picture is them shooting lasers out of their eyes at each other. XD Even if I’m kissing distance from someone so I can look into their eyes, I don’t know that I’m making eye contact, just looking at an eye the same way I’d look at any small object. Consequently, I apparently make eye contact less than a sighted person would, but from my perspective, I don’t make eye contact at all, or know when people are making eye contact with me.
I’m not exactly sure what a glare looks like, but I know it’s something else I also do, as I know what it feels like to glare.
I think my face makes a lot of expressions that I’m not really aware of, and probably telegraphs more if what I’m feeling than I’d like, but it’s also not really something I can change because I don’t know what facial expressions really look like, except in the broadest sense. I learned basic facial expressions as a kid using emoji stickers before emoji were actually a thing.
The one thing I just cannot grok, no matter how many times it’s described to me is eye contact. When people talk about locking eyes from across the room, to me, all I picture is them shooting lasers out of their eyes at each other. XD Even if I’m kissing distance from someone so I can look into their eyes, I don’t know that I’m making eye contact, just looking at an eye the same way I’d look at any small object. Consequently, I apparently make eye contact less than a sighted person would, but from my perspective, I don’t make eye contact at all, or know when people are making eye contact with me.
the_orca_jungle [OP] 6 points 1y ago
yeah eye contact is also very hard for me. also most of the resources on eye contact are for sighted people which is understandable but slightly annoying. still something i have been learning and relearning my entire life.
nadmaximus 2 points 1y ago
Eye contact is a bit like holding someone's hand, putting your hand on their shoulder, or aggressive things like poking someone in the chest, that sort of thing. It's really very much like actual contact - which is why it's called 'eye' contact. If you can see someone staring at you, it can actually feel like being touched, in a way. It's more like poking you with a long poking stick, than laser beams.
MalcolmYoungForever 5 points 1y ago
Peace is a great place to be. I've been impaired since July and haven't even been diagnosed yet. My first appointment with an ophthalmologist is in about 10 days. I'm at peace because there is nothing I can do about the situation.
the_orca_jungle [OP] 3 points 1y ago
makes me feel a lot better. we can obsess over things we cannot change for days, weeks, and months on end, or we can leave the pieces on the floor and move on with the rest of life. best wishes for your appointment :)
MalcolmYoungForever 2 points 1y ago
Indeed and thank you!!!
[deleted] 3 points 1y ago
[deleted]
the_orca_jungle [OP] 1 points 1y ago
yes very true. i have always struggled with nonverbal cues growing up and i was also very sheltered so i never really had experiences with disagreeable people.
i only learned about eye rolling in my first year of high school. managed to survive an entire year without telling any of my peers i was blind. then robotics class happened.
since we were building robots, there was a lot of tiny pieces of metal and small rivets snd stuff. not very accessible if you are legally blind.
by week three, i noticed this guy giving me weird looks. i was very confused and didn’t say anything.
asked some family about it and they told me to describe the look so i told him it looked like he was showing me the whites of his eyes. they started laughing and told me he probably rolled his eyes. thought about it for a while and then realized i do that a lot, only accidentally and out of the context it is mainly used for.
next week at school, i told the robotics teacher about my blindness and i also explain to some other classmates that i might need help with building stuff because i can’t see well.
the guy who rolled his eyes at me was kinda shocked and looked really embarrassed. tried talking to him after class on multiple occasions but he was very closed off and i think he felt comfortable or something. maybe he thought i wasn’t helping and i was slacking off (because i wasn’t asking for help in the beginning, my bad) so that’s why he rolled his eyes. i don’t know. it was all very strange and new.
but that was my first experience with eye rolling in the real world.
i only learned about eye rolling in my first year of high school. managed to survive an entire year without telling any of my peers i was blind. then robotics class happened.
since we were building robots, there was a lot of tiny pieces of metal and small rivets snd stuff. not very accessible if you are legally blind.
by week three, i noticed this guy giving me weird looks. i was very confused and didn’t say anything.
asked some family about it and they told me to describe the look so i told him it looked like he was showing me the whites of his eyes. they started laughing and told me he probably rolled his eyes. thought about it for a while and then realized i do that a lot, only accidentally and out of the context it is mainly used for.
next week at school, i told the robotics teacher about my blindness and i also explain to some other classmates that i might need help with building stuff because i can’t see well.
the guy who rolled his eyes at me was kinda shocked and looked really embarrassed. tried talking to him after class on multiple occasions but he was very closed off and i think he felt comfortable or something. maybe he thought i wasn’t helping and i was slacking off (because i wasn’t asking for help in the beginning, my bad) so that’s why he rolled his eyes. i don’t know. it was all very strange and new.
but that was my first experience with eye rolling in the real world.
Guimple 3 points 1y ago
I am sight impaired, so it is normally impossible for me to perceive it in real life, but, through videos, photos, and books, I can tell you that the eyes are a great part of expressing emotions and intentions. You can roll your eyes, as you mentioned, you can close one eye and not the other to show you have "second intentions" or you could blink fast, specially with only one eye as well, as to communicate something secretly to someone while there are more people around.
However, knowing someone is blind or sight impaired is very likely to make people not count on these expressions if they happen to occur, which they probably will. It is good to be at peace with this.
However, knowing someone is blind or sight impaired is very likely to make people not count on these expressions if they happen to occur, which they probably will. It is good to be at peace with this.
r_1235 2 points 1y ago
Oh yeah, so glad to read this thread.
A bit of partially sighted guy here, though I can't really sea or read normal print, or, even sea facial details. I've seen blind people, and, completely blind people giving normal smiling and frowning expressions, but, yeah, eye role, na, I don't really get any opportunity to observe that. I also tend to miss or not see any death/angry stares that might be coming and going, Haha, love that.
But, yeah, at large, I feel that I am missing out on a big part of comunication, and, specially when you are in teens and 20s, it's a bit sad to know that people around you can communicate so much without you knowing it.
Also, I don't really know how to do it intentionally, but, friends have commented on me doing an eye role in certain situations. I don't really understand how I did it at that time. Angry stares, I can do that 100%. Looking in to someone's eyes, I can do it, but, I don't feel anything if someone is staring in to my eyes or if I am staring in to someone's eyes, I haven't done that allot, since I've been told that it can mean lot of different things, don't want to come off as a creepy guy, judging from how it's being depicted in movies and novels. But, on the other guy, a guy who doesn't meet your eyes, I've heard that can also mean lot of things, so, it's a good thing that I usually carry a white cane around, as an ID cane.
A bit of partially sighted guy here, though I can't really sea or read normal print, or, even sea facial details. I've seen blind people, and, completely blind people giving normal smiling and frowning expressions, but, yeah, eye role, na, I don't really get any opportunity to observe that. I also tend to miss or not see any death/angry stares that might be coming and going, Haha, love that.
But, yeah, at large, I feel that I am missing out on a big part of comunication, and, specially when you are in teens and 20s, it's a bit sad to know that people around you can communicate so much without you knowing it.
Also, I don't really know how to do it intentionally, but, friends have commented on me doing an eye role in certain situations. I don't really understand how I did it at that time. Angry stares, I can do that 100%. Looking in to someone's eyes, I can do it, but, I don't feel anything if someone is staring in to my eyes or if I am staring in to someone's eyes, I haven't done that allot, since I've been told that it can mean lot of different things, don't want to come off as a creepy guy, judging from how it's being depicted in movies and novels. But, on the other guy, a guy who doesn't meet your eyes, I've heard that can also mean lot of things, so, it's a good thing that I usually carry a white cane around, as an ID cane.
the_orca_jungle [OP] 1 points 1y ago
in high school, a lot of people didn’t know i was legally blind until i told them and i didn’t tell many people.
i remember this one time i signed up for this drawing workshop thing with the resident art teacher. i only signed up for it because i wanted to be friends with someone. i went to a super small school that had one-on-one instruction. first day of the workshop and nobody’s there, just me and the teacher.
i told her about my blindness and she asked me “how many fingers am i holding up?” and then started scribbling a bunch of stuff on the paper and asking if i could see it.
i already told her i had some vision so I could still see, but she continued with her interrogation. at one point, she rolled her eyes at me and the only reason i saw it was because i was sitting right next to her.
the rest of the class was not very helpful. ended up dropping it. didn’t tell anyone about my blindness until a year later, but fortunately, i had a much better experience afterward.
i remember this one time i signed up for this drawing workshop thing with the resident art teacher. i only signed up for it because i wanted to be friends with someone. i went to a super small school that had one-on-one instruction. first day of the workshop and nobody’s there, just me and the teacher.
i told her about my blindness and she asked me “how many fingers am i holding up?” and then started scribbling a bunch of stuff on the paper and asking if i could see it.
i already told her i had some vision so I could still see, but she continued with her interrogation. at one point, she rolled her eyes at me and the only reason i saw it was because i was sitting right next to her.
the rest of the class was not very helpful. ended up dropping it. didn’t tell anyone about my blindness until a year later, but fortunately, i had a much better experience afterward.
TechnicalPragmatist 2 points 1y ago
That sounds like a rough class.
RandinoB 2 points 1y ago
I feel similarly about head nodding. My kids do it and I just say to them I can’t really see what you’re doing.
the_orca_jungle [OP] 1 points 1y ago
yes exactly!
my english teacher made me do a project on body language and nonverbal cues because she said i was not doing it enough especially nodding. i told her i never learned it because i couldn’t tell if people were doing it so i mostly relied on mhms and yeps.
when someone nods, they look at the person directly while nodding so the other person can see it. this is very hard for me so it makes nodding even harder. trying to get it but it still feels unnatural.
my english teacher made me do a project on body language and nonverbal cues because she said i was not doing it enough especially nodding. i told her i never learned it because i couldn’t tell if people were doing it so i mostly relied on mhms and yeps.
when someone nods, they look at the person directly while nodding so the other person can see it. this is very hard for me so it makes nodding even harder. trying to get it but it still feels unnatural.
CosmicBunny97 2 points 1y ago
I've been low vision since birth (20/180 in right eye, nothing in left) and blind since 2020, I've never understood this things. I also don't understand things like giving someone a dirty look or death stare, but I've had people describe it to me. I can understand what these things mean in context when I'm watching a movie with audio descriptions or reading a book, but never really understood what they actually look like. My only understanding of eye-rolling is the eye-rolling emoji from old forums.
the_orca_jungle [OP] 1 points 1y ago
yeah i can relate to this. also i have no vision in my right eye and low vision in my left
bradley22 2 points 1y ago
Good :)
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
I did a thing a project with someone and their class he’s from ukraine and kiev. It was part of the hobbie I was part of. This involved reading body language and facial features.
I was born super low vision and lost my very very veeeery little vision not much to speak of at 8 years old. I remember a few things and could see a tiny bit but not much before 8 years old. Been blind like 22 years now almost.
I found out I didn’t have normal body or facial expressions or movements and whatever I had was not natural and weird.
I had warned him this may not be feasible doing it this way and you may have to put all if not most of the weight on what I am actually saying here.
I was born super low vision and lost my very very veeeery little vision not much to speak of at 8 years old. I remember a few things and could see a tiny bit but not much before 8 years old. Been blind like 22 years now almost.
I found out I didn’t have normal body or facial expressions or movements and whatever I had was not natural and weird.
I had warned him this may not be feasible doing it this way and you may have to put all if not most of the weight on what I am actually saying here.
This nonprofit website is run by volunteers.
Please contribute if you can. Thank you!
Our mission is to provide everyone with access to large-
scale community websites for the good of humanity.
Without ads, without tracking, without greed.
scale community websites for the good of humanity.
Without ads, without tracking, without greed.
©2023 HumbleCat Inc • HumbleCat is a 501(c)3 nonprofit based in Michigan, USA.