There are two issues. One is named Ellie and the other Blue. They're seven months old, half rottweiler half pit bull, and they're the same color as the hardwood flooring. They're always in between where I am and where I'm trying to go. If I walk without my cane I accidentally kick them. If I walk with my cane they try to eat the ball on the tip. "Oops, sorry, Blue!" has become the most often repeated phrase in my vocabulary, even though half the time it's probably Ellie. I can't tell them apart very easily.

I take them on a short run in the mornings, one leash in each hand. It doesn't matter which side they start on, they both want to be where the other one is. The leashes get crossed within seconds. According to the law of averages if the dogs cross leashes randomly then half of them should be over/under and half of them should be under/over, so by the time they're all done the chances of them being back how they begin or just a single cross away from the starting point is pretty high. Nope. It's like a French braid when it's all done.

And don't even ask about them yanking me down porch stairs I can't see.

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I've never trained a dog before. I guess I never needed to. None of our previous dogs were this big, we only ever had one at a time, and I've never been blind before. Now that I could actually benefit from a guide dog I get these two little zoomie monsters instead.

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