Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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For those of you in the process of losing your vision (self.Blind)
submitted by blazblu82
Hey folks!
For the past 2.5 years, I've gone from 2 functional eyes to about 60% or less in one eye due to advanced diabetic retinopathy. Over the course of this journey, I have found myself to be more emotional than before. Namely with shows or movies I watch. During scenes of death or sorrow, I find myself easily becoming upset over them, unlike before the diagnosis.
Just curious if anyone else has experienced something similar and might offer an explanation as to why these feelings are stronger now.
For the past 2.5 years, I've gone from 2 functional eyes to about 60% or less in one eye due to advanced diabetic retinopathy. Over the course of this journey, I have found myself to be more emotional than before. Namely with shows or movies I watch. During scenes of death or sorrow, I find myself easily becoming upset over them, unlike before the diagnosis.
Just curious if anyone else has experienced something similar and might offer an explanation as to why these feelings are stronger now.
carolineecouture 12 points 1y ago
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I'm thinking it might be that those emotions onscreen are ones you are experiencing internally; you are connecting with them more right now. I know I've cried more at sad things when I'm feeling sad myself. Take care.
blazblu82 [OP] 5 points 1y ago
Thanks, and you could be right. I've not been the type to get upset at sad scenes in shows or movies before diagnosis. But it certainly doesn't take much of a sad scene these days to get me all worked up.
B-dub31 8 points 1y ago
I would advise anyone going through the vision loss process or any other traumatic event to seek out mental health counseling. I was bitter and distressed. It took me about 2 years to fully process my grief. If you need help, don't be afraid to get it.
Littlebiggran 5 points 1y ago
I have rapidly lost my sight since August. I am now legally blind. I have been sad, grumpy, and depressed because it does feel like a part of my life is over. I will never be able to impulsively drive to see a friend or go shopping or impulse travel again.
Now that I have special glasses to watch TV, we've been watching the old film noir black and white films. They bring me to tears. Other classic films (Lawrence of Arabia, ex) do this because, despite the low vision aids, I will never see the faces, the expressions accurately. I look at a famous face and wonder if what I know to be the face will soon disappear in my mind for the twisted asymmetric features I now see.
My husband does not understand and while he does a lot around the house. He really doesn't get that pointing to something doesn't help me do something for him. When he pulls me along at his speed when walking helps me trip and feel dizzy. Plus I may get dementia like my mom. .
I almost wish I could sneak in and blindfold my friends and family and make them watch films or socialuze with me or see how just moving things ruins my day and makes me scream in panic, even when it's their fault.
Now that I have special glasses to watch TV, we've been watching the old film noir black and white films. They bring me to tears. Other classic films (Lawrence of Arabia, ex) do this because, despite the low vision aids, I will never see the faces, the expressions accurately. I look at a famous face and wonder if what I know to be the face will soon disappear in my mind for the twisted asymmetric features I now see.
My husband does not understand and while he does a lot around the house. He really doesn't get that pointing to something doesn't help me do something for him. When he pulls me along at his speed when walking helps me trip and feel dizzy. Plus I may get dementia like my mom. .
I almost wish I could sneak in and blindfold my friends and family and make them watch films or socialuze with me or see how just moving things ruins my day and makes me scream in panic, even when it's their fault.
LuisSalas 5 points 1y ago
Depression
blazblu82 [OP] 7 points 1y ago
This doesn't surprise me. I know I've had more depressive episodes than I care to count at this point, especially when something new develops with the disease.
OldManOnFire 4 points 1y ago
Going blind is hard. Being blind is easy in comparison. We go through a tremendous sense of loss. We're grieving our lost eyesight. We're grieving our lost potential. We're grieving our lost sense of purpose. And if you gave your life to your job like I did, when you get let go you grieve the loss of your identity.
It hurts. There's days when we just feel emotional, ready to cry but we can't explain why. There are days when we have to face the reality we've been avoiding, when we're confronted with our accelerating blindness in such a way that we can't keep lying to ourselves anymore. The day we finally take the car keys off the nightstand and put the car insurance in our spouse's name, the day when we can't find our phones even though we're staring right at them, or the day our kids show us their latest drawing and we can't tell what it's even supposed to be. Each of them feels like a gut punch.
But it gets better. The grief will pass. Being blind has actually been surprisingly good. Friendships deepen. Priorities get rearranged. Instead of working for a company I get to work on my blind bucket list. Some days I still feel more emotionally vulnerable than I used to, but those days are rare. Blindness hasn't been a catastrophe, just an inconvenience.
As for your experience with the movies, I'd guess you have more sympathy now. Your own experience with loss helps you identify with others going through a loss of their own, and you *feel* it more than you once did.
It hurts. There's days when we just feel emotional, ready to cry but we can't explain why. There are days when we have to face the reality we've been avoiding, when we're confronted with our accelerating blindness in such a way that we can't keep lying to ourselves anymore. The day we finally take the car keys off the nightstand and put the car insurance in our spouse's name, the day when we can't find our phones even though we're staring right at them, or the day our kids show us their latest drawing and we can't tell what it's even supposed to be. Each of them feels like a gut punch.
But it gets better. The grief will pass. Being blind has actually been surprisingly good. Friendships deepen. Priorities get rearranged. Instead of working for a company I get to work on my blind bucket list. Some days I still feel more emotionally vulnerable than I used to, but those days are rare. Blindness hasn't been a catastrophe, just an inconvenience.
As for your experience with the movies, I'd guess you have more sympathy now. Your own experience with loss helps you identify with others going through a loss of their own, and you *feel* it more than you once did.
blazblu82 [OP] 3 points 1y ago
"Going blind is hard. Being blind is easy in comparison. We go through a tremendous sense of loss. We're grieving our lost eyesight. We're grieving our lost potential. We're grieving our lost sense of purpose. And if you gave your life to your job like I did, when you get let go you grieve the loss of your identity."
You aren't joking here. I have a feeling things are going to get a lot worse this week because my employer is firing me. Despite all the effort I put into trying to convince them otherwise, they just want me gone. I've been with them for 8.5 years, was well integrated and respected. The way HR has handled this has made me feel like I'm a criminal. I'm not sure what to do after Wednesday. I've already contacted Vocational Rehab and waiting for them to get me setup and I am waiting for the local vision rehab center to get back with me on 4 job apps I have with them. In the meantime, I have no idea what I'll do for income. I don't even know if I'll qualify for unemployment because I can't drive anywhere. I don't know if I should attempt disability, yet. Sure, I could get regular disability, but how does one live on so little? With the upcoming loss of work, it'll be the first time I've been w/o insurance and it scares me that something bad could happen.
I hope things do get better. I'm tired of feeling useless and having to make sacrifices while everyone else around me gets to live their life the way they want to. Me, since I can't drive, I just sit around at home alone watching TV or playing computer games wondering when I'll get to get out again.
You aren't joking here. I have a feeling things are going to get a lot worse this week because my employer is firing me. Despite all the effort I put into trying to convince them otherwise, they just want me gone. I've been with them for 8.5 years, was well integrated and respected. The way HR has handled this has made me feel like I'm a criminal. I'm not sure what to do after Wednesday. I've already contacted Vocational Rehab and waiting for them to get me setup and I am waiting for the local vision rehab center to get back with me on 4 job apps I have with them. In the meantime, I have no idea what I'll do for income. I don't even know if I'll qualify for unemployment because I can't drive anywhere. I don't know if I should attempt disability, yet. Sure, I could get regular disability, but how does one live on so little? With the upcoming loss of work, it'll be the first time I've been w/o insurance and it scares me that something bad could happen.
I hope things do get better. I'm tired of feeling useless and having to make sacrifices while everyone else around me gets to live their life the way they want to. Me, since I can't drive, I just sit around at home alone watching TV or playing computer games wondering when I'll get to get out again.
codeplaysleep 3 points 1y ago
I have felt this way lately due to other things in life (my vision is stable), and the answer is to talk to someone. Your mind is experiencing trauma and trying to process it. That's not easy to do.
Witnessing emotional things that relate to sadness and loss is going to elicit that sort of emotional response because, well, you can relate to it on an emotional level, and it reminds you of your own trauma that your mind is dealing with - even if you haven't consciously recognized it as such.
So yeah, talk to someone, get some help sorting through everything.
I've recently started taking a low-dose SSRI and started therapy and it's already making a difference.
Witnessing emotional things that relate to sadness and loss is going to elicit that sort of emotional response because, well, you can relate to it on an emotional level, and it reminds you of your own trauma that your mind is dealing with - even if you haven't consciously recognized it as such.
So yeah, talk to someone, get some help sorting through everything.
I've recently started taking a low-dose SSRI and started therapy and it's already making a difference.
[deleted] -1 points 1y ago
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