u/Marconius wrote the best blind dating primer in the whole history of history. $1 Hopefully he'll show up in this thread with some advice and tips for you because he seems to date quite often.

Your question is more about getting the first date and not going on the first date. There are dating apps for the blind community. Four of them are compared in this article $1

I have not tried any of them. Come to think of it, I haven't tried any other dating apps, either. My wife and I have been married since before we had the internet. The reason I know about blind dating apps is because your question gets asked about once a month. I can't say which of them are good and which of them are crap but at least the people who sign up for them understand a human being without eyesight is still a human being.

My dating primer has already been posted in this thread, but that's more for info to give to your date as opposed to how to manage dating apps. Perhaps that will be something to write about soon.

You should try OkCupid, as I find that to have the best matching algorithm out there. Spend a good amount of time writing your profile and answering the questions. It's a little finicky to use as a website and app, but once you get the hang of it, the way it generates a match percentage with folks works quite well and is accurate. Tinder works as well, but ultimately that depends on what you are seeking as that app tends to be more for casual dating, although more folks are seeking long-term relationships through it. Bumble is also a good choice.

Make sure you are putting up good photos. It's ok to get sighted assistance with this, as we don't have much choice in the way the apps are built. Uploading from a computer through the corresponding website can be easier than through the apps, and choosing decent photos of yourself really helps, as the way profiles are presented is primarily visual. Show your personality in your photos, things you love doing, your general demeanor, try not to use topless bathroom selfies or selfies of you with a tiger, since that was a silly craze a while ago and people see right through it.

I've not done much in the way of meeting people for dating without using apps, to be honest. I just personally find online dating much easier and more effective. In any case, try joining up with social groups for hobbies or things you love. Meetup has a lot of groups for just socializing, attending comedy shows, concerts, exhibits, food gatherings, all manner of things with other people. The more you surround yourself with people, the more opportunity you have in meeting a romantic interest. The more you show up and be present, the more people will get to know and be comfortable with you, and that makes you more approachable. Maybe there is an ongoing storytelling event, volunteering at a soup kitchen, etc.

I am poly/ethically non-monogamous, and we regularly have a variety of in-person speed dating events, potlucks, and meetups, either for mingling or just for talking about anything and everything. No pressure to cruise for people nor any expectations, it's all about finding a good vibe with folks and letting connections grow organically. It can take time, or it can happen immediately, but it's all about how you put yourself out there and making yourself available for connections.

For men it is very difficult to do it online, so I would recommend doing it by attending in person events that are related to a hobby or interest you have. Some types of events that skew heavily women are sculpture classes, specifically ceramics, jewelry making, and fiber arts such as knitting, crochet, and sewing. I have noticed that women tend to approach men in those types of settings, get to know them, then ask them out.

If you're kinky, try Fetlife and attend in-person social events. If you're polyamorous there are meetup groups. If you're into costumes, Renaissance Faires are fun places to volunteer and there are a ton of relationships started there. The women tend to be very forward. You can also start your own meetup group based on a hobby or interest if you don't notice anything local that sounds appealing.

I found this thread extremely interesting. I often wondered what dating struggles blind / low vision men encountered in their 20s. As a female, my experience was a little different. Your level of vision will play a big role too. but maybe some of this is helpful.


1. Meet the girl in your best environment. I have a retinal disease called Cone Dystrophy so I'm sensitive to light, can't read print, etc. I always had first dates on a Friday or Saturday night downtown. Dates on a sunny Saturday afternoon were out of the question. Same with trips to the beach. Find the best environment for you, the place you feel most confident. Maybe throw a small house party with three friends at your place and invite the girl you've been chatting with on Tinder. That's literally how I met my current boyfriend. I invited him over to my place, where I'm most comfortable and fluid. Plus I had three friends over who all knew me and said nice things about me in front of my date haha.
2. For me personally, I didn't mention my vision in my dating app profiles. 80% of the time I waited until the first date to tell them. (Full disclosure, I'm low vision and don't use a cane yet, so it's easier to hide this on dating apps.) For me personally, it was always important that someone knew the rest of me before they learned about my disability. No one I ever went on a date with had a bad reaction after I told them about my vision in person. I always encouraged people to ask questions after I told them.
3. I'm always a big fan of having a phone conversation with someone before meeting up. It's faster for me to know if I'm going to like someone if I can hear their voice. So much faster, too. It's a good way to push past the back and forth app messaging bullshit and see if they're serious about meeting up.
4. Stay confident and collected when you talk about your vision for the first time in person or over the phone. Prepare an elevator pitch you can share on the first date (even if you're open about being blind on your profile). In 90 seconds or less, describe what your eye condition is, how it affects you (aka how I see the world), when it first started, one or two big things you can't do anymore (like drive). End your pitch with positive things you've done recently to help yourself. For example, you went through vocational rehab so now you have the best and most accessible technology for your job. Or even though you lost your sight, you still love hanging out with family and friends doing \_\_\_ and \_\_\_\_\_. Or recently you went on this awesome trip to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, where you did this and that. Sell yourself. What can you provide and offer her, just like anyone else.
5. Don't focus on negative aspects of losing your sight when you meet in person. Don't linger on hardships. Save tough talks like this for the second or third date if possible.
6. You can joke about your vision but don't insult yourself or be self-deprecating.
7. Don't get offended or shut down if they say something offensive out of ignorance. Remember, we're the minor minority here. Most people have never met a blind person. People say stupid shit when they experience something new. Take it in stride and smile. Breathe. It's your opportunity to educate them.
8. Ignorance and intentional cruelty are different. Don't tolerate someone who makes you feel inferior, awkward or like a burden.

Same age, same exact situation as you.

That dating primer is helpful, and it sounds like the person who posted it has success with OLD. But also keep in mind that he's poly/ethically non-monogamous, which tends to attract a … niche crowd on the apps that really isn't everyone's cup of tea.

Anyway, I don't have any blindness-specific recommendations because I don't think there really are any. Best approach is to do the same as every other post-grad: go to the gym and become as attractive as possible, follow rules 1 and 2, do cool stuff and be interesting, use apps like Hinge and Bumble because that's where people are. IMO, OKCupid is heading toward bottom of the barrel territory. On the apps, I've had the most success being relaxed, confident and playful. It helps to lower your expectations, and then to lower them even more. I basically use Bumble/Hinge/Tinder now in IDGAF mode, and ironically, I've had better luck meeting people since then. Make sure your up front about blindness, but try to incorporate it in a way where it's not the center of your profile. Half the people you match with either won't read it, or won't fully understand it. So, disclose it appropriately, but don't obsess about it after doing your due diligence about it.

Overall, don't be too serious, don't write novels, try and meet up as quickly as possible. But it sounds like you're already doing most of these things.

One more thing: it helps in loud club/bar environments to roll with a crew of extroverted people. If you can find a group of guys to sometimes go out with casually, you might have more success meeting people in extended social circles.

Have you thought about dating in the blind community?

Also I have dated people after I was friends with them. I found I really wasn’t the dating or relationship type after I got in them probably a really grey romantic and asexual. Or really close to both aromantic and asexual. I don’t get repulsed but also don’t need it. And don’t have normal sexual drives.


But anyway enough about me.

Find people in your community you already know to date and date after socialization. For when I date we were friends then folks have asked me out.

I have a lot of thoughts here, but I’ll just toss out two to help you out. I can expand or provide more input if desired but want to keep this semi brief.

First, stop treating the dating apps as your primary source. You say you’re supplementing these apps with IRL meetings. This is completely backwards. Flip this around.

Second, your cold approach model you’re describing is almost certainly not one you’ll have much success with. Change tactics. Opt for more conversational environments where there’s already some close interaction and rapport. Clubs, meet ups, and classes are prime examples. Opt for group things. Yoga is a great thing but there’s not much conversation or hanging out, not much cha ce to get to know people. A cooking class at the local college, a martial arts class, local book or movie club, so on are more what I mean. Where the approach part isn’t necessary and you have an easy time talking to all manner of people in smaller groups.

So I’m a blind girl but I’ve had some success with dating apps and also meeting people in real life. The trick is to approach things with as much confidence as you can have: if you don’t have that confidence yet, sometimes faking it can get you through any awkward situations. Going to clubs and bars comes a lot easier when you have someone there just to boost your confidence; if you feel nervous about it, start off just going with friends. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself - your dates will be able to understand if you find something difficult. Be upfront and even if you do have the odd rubbish date, it can be part of the learning experience. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need any advice!

Take a step back, how do you feel when making new friends? I've never understood the desire to find a stranger to date. Why not make many friends, and then check if there is anyone you connect with. While starting friendships don't have relationship in mind.

I met my gf through a dating app and she's partial sighted, I've been with her 6 years and im her taxi lol, and her guide dog is adorable

I’m a little biased, in the sense that I’m not actively looking for a relationship at the moment, but in general if I’m asked this question, I always say just let it happen organically. Do whatever it is you enjoy doing, socialise, and you might find yourself surprised by the connections you can build.
With a few notable exceptions, I’ve always found that people who use dating apps tend to be desperate for no good reason, starved for social connections, kinky / polyamorous, out for a quick fix, or some combination of all of the above. I’m not one to judge without good reason, but if you fall into either or both of the first two camps, listing yourself on some virtual marketplace seems about the most unhealthy thing you can do to yourself.
Whatever your personal situation may be, I hope you find a solution that works for you. Best of luck.