Yes, it is normal. I work with lots of people who are losing vision, and there is an incredible amount of people who don't want to use the free services provided by the state because of a fear that they are taking it away from someone who \*really\* needs it or who is worse off than they are. Part of this is cultural; I have had these same discussions (about taking resources away from others who need it more) with quadriplegics and stroke survivors and people who have literally had to get two extra sheets of paper to list their medical conditions on an application.

The agencies and programs and government services are not ripping audiobooks from the hands of an 85-year-old widow woman in order to give them to you. The services exist to help people and they are happy for you to use them. You are not taking something away from someone else (and from a big picture view, the more people they can demonstrate are using their service, the more funding they may be able to request from donors/government, which \*helps\* more people).

Ask yourself the following questions:

Does this (whatever device, service, program, etc.) help me be more independent?

Does this raise my quality of life?

Does this help me to function in society?

If the answer to any of these questions is "yes" (even if just a little), then you are the target demographic for these services. Don't feel guilty about accepting the help offered (you are using the system as intended, you are not cheating the system); help others when you can.

Hey there, I also have ROP and similarly was only visually impaired until my mid twenties. I had no sight in one eye and had decent in my other, especially after cataract surgery in my teens. Fact is though that I still needed services and such to fully succeed.

It is totally normal to feel like an imposter or something but you are valid. You have a visual impairment and honestly getting some skill training in orientation and mobility with a cane or braille will go a long way just in case.

I had no night vision and sucky contrast vision even after cataract surgery where my sight went from about 20 400 to 20 100. My big regret is that in all my years with usable vision the TVIs never thought braille was important enough and I had to learn as an adult and frankly I still suck at reading it because of it.

Again, you are valid no matter what help you need. You can't do some stuff because of your vision and that alone is valid enough. Take advantage of what tools you have and learn more just in case. For me it was sudden onset of glaucoma and a retinal detachment that did me in and now I'm totally blind with no light perception. They tracked me through growth spurts and such but at 26 I thought I was clear... I was not. Not saying your vision will worsen, but just in case learn extra stuff.

Your mileage will vary and all that disclaimer stuff. I seriously hope I haven't overstepped, just hoping to help. ROP can suck.

Edit: It is too damn early, I missed that you have a cane so have had orientation: Just to add, I had a cane but never used it except after dark when I could see still. Again it feels normal when you manage so well, but you are just using tools that assist you. You don't sound like someone playing the blind card as it were, it sounds like you are approaching it all right.

It's like Band-Aids and Q-Tips.

Band Aid is a company that produces plastic adhesive bandages. Q-Tip is a company that produces cotton swabs. But we call any plastic adhesive bandage a Band-Aid even though most of them aren't made by the Band-Aid company, just like we call every cotton swab a Q-Tip. The actual definitions don't match the common usage.

I remember how afraid I was to make my first post here on r/blind. Was I blind enough? What if someone who was *really* blind tore into me for stealing sympathy rightfully belonging to them? I lurked around for a month before I wrote anything. It wasn't until a few days after my doctor issued a certificate of legal blindness that I dared to click the JOIN button.

Yeah, imposter syndrome is real. And if the loss of your vision is progressive it's very hard to know when you've reached the point of being blind enough to claim it. When the change is so gradual you don't notice it happening it seems phony to say "Yesterday I wasn't blind but today I am." It feels even more opportunistic to claim it when there's something in it for you.

Everyone who's ever gone blind gradually has been there. You're not alone.

You're an honest person - otherwise this wouldn't be bothering you. You want to keep it real about your vision. That's understandable. And you don't want a hand out meant for someone really blind. That's good. I respect that.

But you can't read your favorite 90s books due to your eyesight. That's all the qualification you need to get the books read aloud to you, isn't it? When they ask on the application if you're blind you're still thinking Band-Aids and Q-Tips but all they're asking is if you can't read these books by yourself due to your eyesight.

Organizations like this exist to help people like you - people who can't comfortably read due to their eyesight. They don't care if you can see well enough to watch the new Batman movie. They don't care if you identify as blind. They don't care if your blindness is new or old, temporary or forever. They're not judging how well you can see anything other than printed words in a book. If you can't easily read a wall of text then by their definition you're blind enough to qualify for their services.

I know how wrong it feels to pick and choose when to claim you're blind based on what you can get for free out of it. But the alternative - accepting your blindness in all cases and situations - feels even more dishonest when you still have enough functioning eyesight to live a mostly normal life. This is exactly the kind of thing I want sighted people to understand about us. We're plastic adhesive bandages made by somebody other than the Band-Aid company. We're Dollar Store cotton swabs. We aren't Band-Aids and Q-Tips but at the same time, we are.

The only piece of advice I can offer is this - we gatekeep ourselves too much. We judge ourselves more harshly than others do. You can claim those parts of blindness you need to without claiming the parts you don't. Blindness is individual. I can see and do many things you probably can't, and you can see and do many things I can't. I need my cane more than you need yours, but I can read a wall of text. My blindness isn't more real than yours. Yours isn't more valid than mine. Would you deny me my cane because I can read a wall of text you'd struggle to read? Of course not. So why deny yourself a book reading service just because you don't need your cane as often as I do?

Claim what's rightfully yours without shame.

I have had right homogeneous hemianopsia since 1985. I started using a cane in 2021 after I tripped and broke my ankle. I had accommodations in school, received services from my state commission for the blind. My acuity is nearly 20/20, I just have no vision on the right side.

What you are feeling is very common, and completely false. We are all taking advantage of technology and services that we need and are completely entitled too.

Welcome to the family.

Yeah it's normal. My vision is, at best, 20/150 with glasses. I have nystagmus, so I'm generally hovering closer to 20/200.

I've always felt like I've had pretty good vision for a VI person, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm visually impaired. At some point, I came to realize that my eyesight is pretty bad in the grand scheme of things. It was a really sudden realization in my early 20s. Like someone flipped a switch and I suddenly understood that I'm disabled. Since then, I've had fewer issues taking advantage of resources that exist for people like us.

I guess the main thing I want to emphasize is that nothing bad is going to happen to anyone if you do take advantage of resources. It's not like there's a super limited pool where other people can't take advantage of assistive services if you do. Most of these programs are funded through taxes. People who are infinitely less deserving are always going to get infinitely more in terms of tax-funded resources than you or I ever will. Don't feel bad about taking your fair share if you feel that it will help you.

Also, counterpoint - if services exist and people aren't taking advantage of them, then that just creates more incentive for them to be taken away. Taking advantage of available resources is also good practice when it comes to advocating for yourself on a longer term basis.

Hey, my eyesight was exactly like yours for the majority of my life. I felt the same way as you, so you’re not alone. But you’re not cheating the system or anything. Your eyes work differently than fully sighted people and so you need accommodations to make life easier.

I see myself now in a lot of what you've describe . I'll share with you a tiny tidbit of advice an old friend of mine shared with me, if you don't use all the things available to you someone else will and they might actually be the way you feel you are . Never be ashamed of the services you are entitled to