I've often said going blind is harder than being blind.

We grieve the loss of our eyesight. That's not really surprising. What others don't realize is we also grieve the loss of our potential. It's such a waste, isn't it? We could have changed the world, made it a better, healthier, more beautiful place. We could have made a difference. We could have been important. Maybe even necessary.

We could have mattered.

Then Poof! Everything changes with a single visit to the eye doctor. Turns out you won't be curing cancer or building the next Eiffel Tower or landing a rocket on an asteroid. You won't even keep the supply chain moving or keep the freight trains running or coach little league baseball. Your dreams just got a whole lot smaller. I wasn't ready when that happened. It's easy to learn to live without eyesight, it's much harder to learn to live without dreams.

So now we're grieving two things, our eyesight and our potential. That should be enough but there's more grief coming. We start grieving the loss of our identity. We don't know who we are anymore. What do blind people do? How do we act blind? How do we fit into this new life? How do we fit into our old life?

There's no instruction manual. We've watched enough television to know what to say when someone loses a loved one, or to know how to come out of the closet, or just about any other situation we'll ever be faced with, except this one. We didn't grow up watching blind role models in movies. Consequently, we have no idea how to do this blind thing. Maybe Braille and dark glasses? Get a guide dog and a white cane? We don't know. More importantly, we don't know how to find out, either.

Things that were familiar in our lives are suddenly gone, and a bunch of new things take their place. And even if we are the kinds of people that generally do well with change, blindness brings so many changes so fast it overwhelms us. We knew who we were, but who are we now?

Eyesight, potential, and identity. There's lots to grieve. Don't pretend it doesn't affect you. That's stoopid. Of course it does. How could it not? The sooner you acknowledge it the sooner you can start dealing with it.

Here's a few things that worked for me -

Replace everything blindness takes from you with something else. If you can't ride a bicycle with your friend anymore get a bicycle built for two, or get a spin bike. If you can't paint anymore take up pottery or sculpture. If you can't snowboard anymore learn to water ski. If you can't read a book or watch a movie listen to a podcast or an audio book. Don't let blindness take everything away from you. That road leads to depression and bitterness.

Start working on your blind bucket list. This is your opportunity to see the people and places you want to see. Make memories of the people you love smiling and being happy - that's the way you'll remember them when you can't see them anymore. Fly kites at the beach with your parents. Throw a frisbee with your friends. Try archery and oil painting and sky diving. Step into the ring and throw some punches. Use the time you have left to see everything you want to see - don't wait until it's too late and spend the rest of your life in regret.

The grieving isn't easy, but it doesn't last forever. One day you'll understand you're just as worthy in the passenger seat as you were in the driver's seat. You're just as loved, just as necessary, as you were before. A human being without eyesight is still a human being. Blindness changes everything but it changes nothing, too. You are still you.

And you're okay.

I don't have any advice, I'm sorry. I think you are right that it's a process of grieving, sometimes things seem better and workable, and other times not. I've experienced the same. Good luck to you.

Contact the vision loss rehab agency where you got your O/M training. They will have peer support & advocacy, too (as well as help with technology, life skills, education, careers, etc.).

I grew up with that same "shame" surrounding disability. It sucks ass and I'm really sorry you're in that situation in the first place. I'm struggling to adapt to my eyesight deteriorating so I could be a massive hypocrite in saying this; but the best thing you can do is take it one day at a time.
Take the challenges as they come, adapt, find ways to do things. (obviously if it's say- no bus driving!)
Don't beat yourself for the situation you're in, and don't force yourself to be "happy" about it. Let yourself grieve but don't let yourself fall into a pit of misery and wallow.
I hope you take care of yourself and if you ever need a chat my PMs are always open. Good luck ❤

Who raised you to believe disability is shameful? Jeez. A pain in the ass, sure, but I never got the shame thing.

I was born blind so can’t help you, but let me assure you, I bitch and moan like everyone else!

Just one thing you should know that blindness is not the end of it all. You can still live a full and fulfilled life. Have dreams hope and chances. Just differently and to adapt to it.you can do anything else that others can. Don’t let the world bring you down. Know that there’s still a world or 3 ahead of you and you can do anything you’d like and be just like your sighted counterparts.

Have you thought about blind organizations there may be others like you who can help.