Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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I was born with ROP, I grew up with just one eye and a prosthetic, seeing shapes, colors and shadows, until I had a specially shaped interocularnlens implant made and fitted last week. Now I'm seeing detail for the first time in my life and I'm happy but I feel like I've lost my identity (self.Blind)
submitted by Pickleweede
I had a surgery that growing up I could only dream of. I've never seen this much in my life. Of course I'm adjusting to the physical aspect of it slowly, seeing faces and objects in detail for the first time, getting excited at silly things like grass, toast, dog hair etc. Reading literally EVERYTHING I walk past out loud etc. (I'm not fully healed but the doctors don't think it will be quite enough eyesight to drive even with corrective glasses, but we will see, they said it could improve further in the coming weeks!) Anyway, one thing I wasn't prepared for was the mental side of this. I went to an boarding school for the blind. I grew up with the visually impaired community around me. I'm a very small biologically female person who has been fussed over their entire life. "aaaw poor little pickleweede! Let me help you with X because you'll hurt yourself!" Etc and I just trusted that everyone else knew what was best and safe for me. I'm not very independent at all, I'm a big scaredy cat, and when I was adventurous and determined to do things alone in the past, when it all went wrong my family, friends and others around me kind of just figuratively patted me on the headl like "there there, we knew you needed us:" but if I become a regular person, with almost regular eyesight they won't do that anymore and that's scary. If you make a mistake as a kid or you need that hand holding as a kid, people understand; but as an adult people expect you to deal with life on your own and I'm frightened people will expect me to have my shit together because I'm just "a regular adult" now, and I won't be ready for it, and no-one will understand that there's all these things I've never ever done before. I'm so overwhelmed. It's not like I just got a new magic eye and everythings better than before. It's visually better but so much more to think about, so much to process and to learn.
People don't understand why I'm anxious and a bit sad right now.
I worry I won't fit in with normal people because I stjll only have the one eye and I don't think I'm going to have perfect vision even when I'm healed and have glases. And I won't be visually impaired enough to be considered legally blind anymore so VI people might be like "you've left the club, go on, f••k off"
I won't be the same me I've always been and I should be happy but I'm anxious. I know I shouldn't let my disability define me, but I did passively for all of my youth and now it's who I am but who I'm not now post-surgery...
Anyone else have a similar experience of gaining sight and feeling overwhelmed/having an identity crisis?
Can I still keep my braille stickers on my spice jars and talking kitchen scales? I prefer them. I like them! It's not wrong to keep that stuff, is it? Or my cane? I like my cane. It's like my security blanket when I go outside (which is rare). If I have 20/50 in one eye is it wrong to keep/use a white cane?
People don't understand why I'm anxious and a bit sad right now.
I worry I won't fit in with normal people because I stjll only have the one eye and I don't think I'm going to have perfect vision even when I'm healed and have glases. And I won't be visually impaired enough to be considered legally blind anymore so VI people might be like "you've left the club, go on, f••k off"
I won't be the same me I've always been and I should be happy but I'm anxious. I know I shouldn't let my disability define me, but I did passively for all of my youth and now it's who I am but who I'm not now post-surgery...
Anyone else have a similar experience of gaining sight and feeling overwhelmed/having an identity crisis?
Can I still keep my braille stickers on my spice jars and talking kitchen scales? I prefer them. I like them! It's not wrong to keep that stuff, is it? Or my cane? I like my cane. It's like my security blanket when I go outside (which is rare). If I have 20/50 in one eye is it wrong to keep/use a white cane?
Tarnagona 19 points 1y ago
Hey, I think all of these feelings make a lot of sense.
They tell you not to let your disability define you, and that’s fine, but, at least for me, it’s a huge chunk of my identity. It effects so much of my life; how could it not be?
Keep the Braille labels and talking scales. Do things the blind way. It’s not like the sighted way is better just because most people use it. Bonus, you can do things in the dark, where sighted people are dependent on their eyes.
The white cane is a bit trickier, but I’d still say, keep using it until you don’t need it anymore. You’re still learning how to see, after all. Don’t deprive yourself of a useful tool in that journey. If you find yourself carrying the cane, but not using it, then, maybe, it’s time to leave it at home.
They tell you not to let your disability define you, and that’s fine, but, at least for me, it’s a huge chunk of my identity. It effects so much of my life; how could it not be?
Keep the Braille labels and talking scales. Do things the blind way. It’s not like the sighted way is better just because most people use it. Bonus, you can do things in the dark, where sighted people are dependent on their eyes.
The white cane is a bit trickier, but I’d still say, keep using it until you don’t need it anymore. You’re still learning how to see, after all. Don’t deprive yourself of a useful tool in that journey. If you find yourself carrying the cane, but not using it, then, maybe, it’s time to leave it at home.
achromatic_03 6 points 1y ago
I would feel that way, too! However, I think I may be at a similar level of vision that you are at or will end up at, and I just want to assure you that overall, people will be understanding that you're still visually impaired (maybe even legally blind), and especially if you can't drive, they can only expect so much lol! You might get a few trolls and gatekeepers who think you're lying about your abilities or level of vision, but it shouldn't be much. In the end, it's good to remember they don't know what you can see, only you know that... in your case, I wouldn't oversell your vision if you have concerns...some people can't wrap their heads around how helping VI ppl is different than helping totally blind people, so in some situations, you just have to decide if you want to err on the side of independence or give it up because you do need some assistance, even if it's not as much as they are trying to give you. I've been carted around at an airport once just because they didn't seem to get that I could just follow them!
Honestly, regardless of a disability, lots of people grow up having a lot of things done for them or overprotective parents, and it's harder to be a fearless, ambitious, adult after that. It feels very unfair because growing up that way wasn't your choice (I had a bit of this myself), but now all you can do is focus on overcoming it to the degree that you can. I think therapy can be helpful, as well as having people in your life that love you and listen, as well as people that help and encourage you to do more!
Honestly, regardless of a disability, lots of people grow up having a lot of things done for them or overprotective parents, and it's harder to be a fearless, ambitious, adult after that. It feels very unfair because growing up that way wasn't your choice (I had a bit of this myself), but now all you can do is focus on overcoming it to the degree that you can. I think therapy can be helpful, as well as having people in your life that love you and listen, as well as people that help and encourage you to do more!
Unlikely-Database-27 2 points 1y ago
I agree with this, especially the cane comment.
Think I replied to the wrong comment. Ah well.
Think I replied to the wrong comment. Ah well.
cfish1024 6 points 1y ago
Speaking as a sighted person - please don’t hold yourself back because you’re afraid of making mistakes. Obviously there’s a learning curve with such a big change, but in general people fuck up all the time without having as good of an excuse as you. Go experience life and cut yourself some slack.
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
I am a very independent blind person and seeing again after not seeing for 20 years and very bad vision at that it would be a real shocker. I don’t think my eyes can be fixed or heal or that I can ever see again, but honestly. I don’t want it either. I would have to relearn to read and see again. That’s a huge adjustment. It would be more convenient but honestly meh. I don’t know.
I don’t think for a second it’s possible I am totally blind, everything is collapsed. I have a rare eye condition that will probably not go away. So meh. But whatever glad people are healing but probably too much of an adjustment and I can see why you’re feeling that way for sure.
I don’t think for a second it’s possible I am totally blind, everything is collapsed. I have a rare eye condition that will probably not go away. So meh. But whatever glad people are healing but probably too much of an adjustment and I can see why you’re feeling that way for sure.
Pickleweede [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Thank you everyone that replied! I feel a little better now.
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