Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Vent: Am I in the wrong? (self.Blind)
submitted by CosmicBunny97
My parents want to doctor shop to see what they can do about my scarred cornea. This has been an on-and-off discussion and I always manage to get emotional and frustrated, which nearly leads to fighting every time. We all accept that surgery is out of the question, but they're thinking a contact lens (because I don't have a lens in my eye) or the potential for eyedrops to heal the scarring in the future would be an option. One opthamologist has said that I would be a prime candidate for something similar to acochlear implantfor your eyes, where you can receive some information like objects, which sounds interesting. I know I'm being stubborn and difficult. . . I guess I'm being difficult because it feels like I would be throwing away all the progress I've made on Braille and using a screen reader over the past 2 years. And I know my blindness is a burden on everyone around me, and there's times I don't like it, but I prefer it over when I could see. I don't miss having to zoom in and being extremely slow at reading, I don't miss being light sensitive, and honestly? I like the label of blind because it makes more sense than low vision or vision impaired. I like labels, they make the world make sense to me. Am I in the wrong for being difficult, for feeling frustrated? Am I playing the victim? I'm sorry for venting. Maybe others can relate.
BlindManOnFire 9 points 1y ago
Hi Bunny. Good to have you back here again.
Be proud of what you've done with Braille and your screen reader. You've conquered literacy while blind! That's quite an accomplishment.
Please, please understand seeing again doesn't mean your accomplishment goes away. If you broke your leg and learned to walk with crutches, would you feel you lost something when the cast came off and you didn't need crutches to get around anymore?
Be proud of what you've done with Braille and your screen reader. You've conquered literacy while blind! That's quite an accomplishment.
Please, please understand seeing again doesn't mean your accomplishment goes away. If you broke your leg and learned to walk with crutches, would you feel you lost something when the cast came off and you didn't need crutches to get around anymore?
KathersG 9 points 1y ago
If you're an adult then it's totally your decision and your family should respect that, they're being difficult rather than you.There's no guarantee that these options they want to pursue will work. Stick to your guns and do what's best for you.
[deleted] 5 points 1y ago
[deleted]
CosmicBunny97 [OP] 3 points 1y ago
You’re right, I do like the stability. I know my parents just want what’s best for me. And insurance isn’t a problem, I’m in Australia :)
TheSecretIsMarmite 5 points 1y ago
You're not wrong. It sounds like your parents are having a harder time adjusting to you being blind than you are, and aren't accepting that this is how it is now.
Have you tried talking to them about how you actually prefer being blind and how it's actually made life easier for you now? If they arent listening then a counsellor may be a good next step.
Have you tried talking to them about how you actually prefer being blind and how it's actually made life easier for you now? If they arent listening then a counsellor may be a good next step.
CosmicBunny97 [OP] 4 points 1y ago
I have, but I'm not sure that they understand even when they say they get it. I told them today that if I regained my vision, I feel as if I'll throw away my progress learning braille and they were like "you can still do that, your braille teacher uses braille and she can see."
TheSecretIsMarmite 4 points 1y ago
It sounds like they just aren't accepting your blindness and it would be a good idea for them to see a counsellor.
codeplaysleep 3 points 1y ago
No, you're not wrong. Your body, your choice.
K-R-Rose 3 points 1y ago
This is almost exactly my experience. My parents really want a “cure” for me, and they kept pushing for me to wear glasses, look into surgery, etc. Going after the cure isn’t the life I want to live, and I realized that sight isn’t going to make me happy in life. My parents will never understand and that’s okay. I’m comfortable in my blind life, and that’s where I want to stay, and there is nothing wrong with that.
CosmicBunny97 [OP] 2 points 1y ago
I’m so glad I’m not alone. There’s times where I miss being able to see, don’t get me wrong, but I like my blind life
K-R-Rose 1 points 1y ago
It’s all I’ve ever known, so I’m pretty attached. But people don’t really understand that blindness is just a different way of living. It doesn’t make the experience superior or inferior. It’s just different.
PrincessDie123 2 points 1y ago
No if you don’t want surgery then nobody should force you to have one, if life is more comfortable for you the way it is now nobody should force you out of that. What they should do is help you get resources like transportation and stuff so you can be more independent if they are so burdened by your vision impairment. I almost let myself have a retina tear because the preventative is to have a syringe jabbed into my eyeball every time there’s a bleed and that friggin hurts for a while after but my dad would say “well you have no choice of course you have to save your vision” and he was shocked when I said that I do have a choice, it’s a hard choice but if my treatment is akin to torture it might be better to just let it go.
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
It’s a valid feeling you’re not being stubborn. You have a right to feel this way. Don’t invalidate it. Don’t feel sorry.
I like being blind as stupid as that may sound to you it’s not stupid to me. If you are comfortable in your own skin and happy with what you are you should be okay and allowed. No one should tell you or force you to make changes to your body.
I mean we accept other things like people being gay or transgender or at least some do so why can’t we accept someone wanting to be blind. It’s much less of a deal. Even.
It’s your reality now and you’re use to it. I have been totally blind for 21 or 22 years out of my almost 30 I don’t want it to change. My life would change I would have to get use to things again, learn everything from scratch.
I don’t care if you call me silly, stupid, or insane.
Stand up for what you believe in.
Yes your parents want the best for you but I think they are the ones in denial and want you to be normal and sighted. Because it seems like it’s less defective when it’s not even that. Maybe it is but you’ve learn to adjust and adapt and well too.
Is it being stubborn or standing up for what you like?
I think that they want to make you look normal with the contact lens. It’s interesting.
And many people seem to like labels I have recently learnt
I like being blind as stupid as that may sound to you it’s not stupid to me. If you are comfortable in your own skin and happy with what you are you should be okay and allowed. No one should tell you or force you to make changes to your body.
I mean we accept other things like people being gay or transgender or at least some do so why can’t we accept someone wanting to be blind. It’s much less of a deal. Even.
It’s your reality now and you’re use to it. I have been totally blind for 21 or 22 years out of my almost 30 I don’t want it to change. My life would change I would have to get use to things again, learn everything from scratch.
I don’t care if you call me silly, stupid, or insane.
Stand up for what you believe in.
Yes your parents want the best for you but I think they are the ones in denial and want you to be normal and sighted. Because it seems like it’s less defective when it’s not even that. Maybe it is but you’ve learn to adjust and adapt and well too.
Is it being stubborn or standing up for what you like?
I think that they want to make you look normal with the contact lens. It’s interesting.
And many people seem to like labels I have recently learnt
Individual-Fan1639 0 points 1y ago
You aren’t playing the victim, but seem in denial. Why is surgery off the table?
smarthome_fan 1 points 1y ago
Did you hear about the recent bankruptcy of Second Sight Medical Services? That company put artificial implants in people's eyes that gave primitive vision, now the company has gone bankrupt and people are stuck with broken hardware in their heads. You're asking why maybe, just maybe, somebody is happy the way they are and wouldn't want to risk surgery?
CosmicBunny97 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
My eye is too weak and has been through a lot
Individual-Fan1639 1 points 1y ago
I am sorry to hear that. I thought that you were saying it wasn’t an option by choice.
You said your doctor said you’d be a great candidate for something that could give you some vision or an alternative. I suggest you listen to the doctor after you contemplate the outcomes. You can always choose to use an eyepatch or close your eyes if having blurry vision or something similar interferes with your daily activities. However, you have to look at it that going with what the doctor is saying could give you more information to work with. There isn’t anything that would stop you from reading braille or using a screenreader. Most Braille users I know still have a little vision, but choose to use Braille because it is quicker and is much less prone to mistakes.
Either way you go it sounds like you will be blind or visually impaired. Yes, I understand that can be a difficult, emotional decision, but only one of the two outcomes seems like they could change your life for the better and actually could be an improvement. The last thing I would like to say to you is to make sure whatever decision you go with is your own; not your doctor or your parents.
You said your doctor said you’d be a great candidate for something that could give you some vision or an alternative. I suggest you listen to the doctor after you contemplate the outcomes. You can always choose to use an eyepatch or close your eyes if having blurry vision or something similar interferes with your daily activities. However, you have to look at it that going with what the doctor is saying could give you more information to work with. There isn’t anything that would stop you from reading braille or using a screenreader. Most Braille users I know still have a little vision, but choose to use Braille because it is quicker and is much less prone to mistakes.
Either way you go it sounds like you will be blind or visually impaired. Yes, I understand that can be a difficult, emotional decision, but only one of the two outcomes seems like they could change your life for the better and actually could be an improvement. The last thing I would like to say to you is to make sure whatever decision you go with is your own; not your doctor or your parents.
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
What if she wants to be blind no if ands or buts? And she’s happy with it. Why can’t it be her choice and off the table?
Individual-Fan1639 1 points 1y ago
If that were the case and her mind was already made up, then I’m not sure I understand the purpose of this post.
ke7zum 1 points 1y ago
I agree, weigh your options, pros cons, make an excel spreadsheet and bring them to your doctor and really discuss what you want to do.
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