Blind and Visually Impaired Community
↑
17
↓
[USA] This transitional phase sucks - Vent/Rant (self.Blind)
submitted by blazblu82
This transitional phase I'm working through sucks. Part of me wants to ignore what's going on and thinks I can do everything as if I were healthy while the other part realizes what's going on and wants to take a back seat. I'm 39 years old and should be doing what everyone else does, work and have a life.
I've been jobless for over 2 months now and can't get my foot in the door anywhere. Had 1 interview which failed and had another scheduled until I asked for some specifics then things fell through. I spend hours a day looking through pages of job ads constantly wondering if I can do the work or not. And that's not my only concern, either. I'll have to rely on family to get me to those jobs, too. Then I wonder if whoever I work for will want someone like me working for them. Then I wonder if I should be looking for work at all. I spend way to much time thinking about all of this and it's starting to drive me insane.
Everything related to the government takes its sweet time. And now, I'm finding out I may have to pay back the UI payments because I'm filing for disability. Medicaid takes a few months and no telling when disability will kick, if I get it.
I'm so tired of being stuck at home. I'm tired of relying on others to get where I need to go or want to go. Sure, there are places within walking distance, but they're not places I want to go to all the time. I'm sick of the idea that I'll never find a woman who would want to be with me because in my mind, I'm an undesirable.
I feel like I'm at the middle of a teeter-totter slowly edging to one side. I don't feel like I'm getting the guidance I need from medical professionals and every time I see the vision rehab doctor, I feel like they don't take my situation seriously enough. All my eye specialist wants to do is offer shots, surgery or laser for my good eye, which I don't want to do because it's my good eye. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I don't get to do the things I want to do because I don't want to overuse family nor have the money. Since I don't have an income, I simply can't take Uber, either. I now live with my folks, who are in their 60's. I don't have any friends and my only sibling has her own life and I rarely see her. I'm nearing the end of my rope and something needs to change soon.
I've been jobless for over 2 months now and can't get my foot in the door anywhere. Had 1 interview which failed and had another scheduled until I asked for some specifics then things fell through. I spend hours a day looking through pages of job ads constantly wondering if I can do the work or not. And that's not my only concern, either. I'll have to rely on family to get me to those jobs, too. Then I wonder if whoever I work for will want someone like me working for them. Then I wonder if I should be looking for work at all. I spend way to much time thinking about all of this and it's starting to drive me insane.
Everything related to the government takes its sweet time. And now, I'm finding out I may have to pay back the UI payments because I'm filing for disability. Medicaid takes a few months and no telling when disability will kick, if I get it.
I'm so tired of being stuck at home. I'm tired of relying on others to get where I need to go or want to go. Sure, there are places within walking distance, but they're not places I want to go to all the time. I'm sick of the idea that I'll never find a woman who would want to be with me because in my mind, I'm an undesirable.
I feel like I'm at the middle of a teeter-totter slowly edging to one side. I don't feel like I'm getting the guidance I need from medical professionals and every time I see the vision rehab doctor, I feel like they don't take my situation seriously enough. All my eye specialist wants to do is offer shots, surgery or laser for my good eye, which I don't want to do because it's my good eye. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I don't get to do the things I want to do because I don't want to overuse family nor have the money. Since I don't have an income, I simply can't take Uber, either. I now live with my folks, who are in their 60's. I don't have any friends and my only sibling has her own life and I rarely see her. I'm nearing the end of my rope and something needs to change soon.
ganaldo04 4 points 1y ago
Id just like to say that i think youre doing great. I feel like theres not a lot of positivity in the world nowadays, so fair play to you.
Im 18 and was recently diagnosed with Lebers in December last year. Basically, most of my vision is fogged up and theres a translucent blodge in my central vision. I would just like to say that I feel your frustration, and that I believe in you.
You can do it.
I know it's not much, and im probably being soppy, but i hope it at least makes you smile.
Im also going through a bit of a transition with my eyesight, its rough because so many people are either unknowing about how to "deal" with me or are just rude or daft. Ive had classmates ive known for years come up to me and mock me ablut it, saying things like will i get a spider-sense or just whistling at me to get my attention. Its awful. I ised to play 3 sports and was quite active and fit, now i hardly get out, with me just recently deciding that i should go to a gym. My opticians gave us a wrong diagnosis for 2 months and it was only when I was admitted into hospital and put through various tests (including MRIs for tumors, because that was actually on the table) that i was sent home with a maybe diagnosis and that i was to visiit another hospital to verify.
I know this isn't remotely what you're dealing with and everyone deals with things differently, but sometimes being heard helps a little (sorry im not great with this kinda thing). I just wamt to reassure you that everything will come round for you, trust me, Ive called bs on that phrase a lot but I know you've got what it takes. I hope your next job interview goes well for you, and just know that we're all rooting for you.
Hope this helped in any way possible
Im 18 and was recently diagnosed with Lebers in December last year. Basically, most of my vision is fogged up and theres a translucent blodge in my central vision. I would just like to say that I feel your frustration, and that I believe in you.
You can do it.
I know it's not much, and im probably being soppy, but i hope it at least makes you smile.
Im also going through a bit of a transition with my eyesight, its rough because so many people are either unknowing about how to "deal" with me or are just rude or daft. Ive had classmates ive known for years come up to me and mock me ablut it, saying things like will i get a spider-sense or just whistling at me to get my attention. Its awful. I ised to play 3 sports and was quite active and fit, now i hardly get out, with me just recently deciding that i should go to a gym. My opticians gave us a wrong diagnosis for 2 months and it was only when I was admitted into hospital and put through various tests (including MRIs for tumors, because that was actually on the table) that i was sent home with a maybe diagnosis and that i was to visiit another hospital to verify.
I know this isn't remotely what you're dealing with and everyone deals with things differently, but sometimes being heard helps a little (sorry im not great with this kinda thing). I just wamt to reassure you that everything will come round for you, trust me, Ive called bs on that phrase a lot but I know you've got what it takes. I hope your next job interview goes well for you, and just know that we're all rooting for you.
Hope this helped in any way possible
blazblu82 [OP] 3 points 1y ago
I appreciate your support. I was having "one of those days" yesterday. Most pf the time, I'm ok. However, any setback I have, no matter how small, it puts me in one of those moods. Even attempting to explain my situation to my own family is a struggle because no one can relate nor understand and I get frustrated over it. I'm at the point with my eyes that any conventional treatment is going to help anything. I often wish my vision would just go so I can start learning to live and cope with it while I'm still "young".
Your situation sounds horrifying. I've never heard of Lebers before and what you describe of it sounds worse than my retinopathy. I assume it isn't treatable?
I do feel guilty after making my post, though. I'm not the only one with problems and it's selfish to think mine are more important.
Thanks again for your support. I wish you the best!
Your situation sounds horrifying. I've never heard of Lebers before and what you describe of it sounds worse than my retinopathy. I assume it isn't treatable?
I do feel guilty after making my post, though. I'm not the only one with problems and it's selfish to think mine are more important.
Thanks again for your support. I wish you the best!
WEugeneSmith 2 points 1y ago
I can completely relate to your frustration at the limbo you are in.
It is normal to experience some depression at a time of this kind of transition. If you can talk with a counselor, it could really help. You would have a neutral, non-judgemental person to talk with and to help you sort through things. I am doing this now).
Next, do an online search to see what kind of organizations you have nearby that offer services such as vocational training to help you get back into the job market. If you don't find anything, call "211" and you will be connected with a United Way operator who can refer you to any service in your area that can help you.
I am working with a state organization, and I had an interview for a remote position at a company that has accommodations for blind and VI to work using JAWS.
But, most important, take this transition one step at a time. This is all new to you, and you are not expected to just dive right in and swim.
As you get out in the world, I promise you will make friends. And, as to you concerns about meeting a woman who will accept you? You are still you. The only thing that has changed is your sight. The right person won't give a darn about your disability. All that will matter is the person you already are.
It is normal to experience some depression at a time of this kind of transition. If you can talk with a counselor, it could really help. You would have a neutral, non-judgemental person to talk with and to help you sort through things. I am doing this now).
Next, do an online search to see what kind of organizations you have nearby that offer services such as vocational training to help you get back into the job market. If you don't find anything, call "211" and you will be connected with a United Way operator who can refer you to any service in your area that can help you.
I am working with a state organization, and I had an interview for a remote position at a company that has accommodations for blind and VI to work using JAWS.
But, most important, take this transition one step at a time. This is all new to you, and you are not expected to just dive right in and swim.
As you get out in the world, I promise you will make friends. And, as to you concerns about meeting a woman who will accept you? You are still you. The only thing that has changed is your sight. The right person won't give a darn about your disability. All that will matter is the person you already are.
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
I appreciate your support.
I wish I could see a counselor. I have a lot on my mind and having someone to "dump" onto would be beneficial. Sadly, I don't have insurance, so I can't afford it right now.
I am working with the Department of Children and Families through their vocational rehab program. I'm scheduled for a day full of testing next Wednesday. I went to my vision rehab office a couple weeks ago for evaluation as part of voc rehab and they want to set me up with a 10-week training program to get SOC1 certified to work in cyber security. I've got to go through the testing at voc rehab first before they will consider it as part of my plan. I hope that works out; it has the potential to be quite lucrative.
This transitional phase sucks because it's showing me what I can and can't do. Plus, I've had to make some big changes recently which involved losing some of my independence. And as of late, it's becoming difficult riding in a vehicle. I get car sickness after 20 to 30 minutes when I never had that before. Over all, it just feels like life isn't enjoyable right now because I feel so limited on what I can do compared to before.
I've never been good at making and keeping friends. Even worse with women, lol! Character flaws, I guess.
I always feel terrible after making posts like my original. I know I'm not the only one with problems and it's selfish to think otherwise. Sometimes, I simply need to unload and this is the only place I can go. Trying to unload to family feels more like a "fix it" session than anything.
Anywho, thanks again!
I wish I could see a counselor. I have a lot on my mind and having someone to "dump" onto would be beneficial. Sadly, I don't have insurance, so I can't afford it right now.
I am working with the Department of Children and Families through their vocational rehab program. I'm scheduled for a day full of testing next Wednesday. I went to my vision rehab office a couple weeks ago for evaluation as part of voc rehab and they want to set me up with a 10-week training program to get SOC1 certified to work in cyber security. I've got to go through the testing at voc rehab first before they will consider it as part of my plan. I hope that works out; it has the potential to be quite lucrative.
This transitional phase sucks because it's showing me what I can and can't do. Plus, I've had to make some big changes recently which involved losing some of my independence. And as of late, it's becoming difficult riding in a vehicle. I get car sickness after 20 to 30 minutes when I never had that before. Over all, it just feels like life isn't enjoyable right now because I feel so limited on what I can do compared to before.
I've never been good at making and keeping friends. Even worse with women, lol! Character flaws, I guess.
I always feel terrible after making posts like my original. I know I'm not the only one with problems and it's selfish to think otherwise. Sometimes, I simply need to unload and this is the only place I can go. Trying to unload to family feels more like a "fix it" session than anything.
Anywho, thanks again!
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
Blindness is not the end of the world and a blind person who loses much more vision or doesn’t have any vision can live a full and meaningful life.
Learn to adjust and adapt and learn ways to cope and be blind and you’ll be just fine.
Training is very important. Learning skills to use the cane and assistive tech is paramount.
Learn to adjust and adapt and learn ways to cope and be blind and you’ll be just fine.
Training is very important. Learning skills to use the cane and assistive tech is paramount.
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Thing is, I'm not bad enough to need a cane, but I'm not good enough to do the things I used to do. Going through the transition sucks and I wish I was done with it.
Thanks though
Thanks though
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
I guess sadly it’s not easy.but at least you can still adapt and adjust eventually and continue with your life.
Don’t be ashamed of it and learn some acceptance of the reality of things and really learn to adjust and cope.
Don’t be ashamed of it and learn some acceptance of the reality of things and really learn to adjust and cope.
This nonprofit website is run by volunteers.
Please contribute if you can. Thank you!
Our mission is to provide everyone with access to large-
scale community websites for the good of humanity.
Without ads, without tracking, without greed.
scale community websites for the good of humanity.
Without ads, without tracking, without greed.
©2023 HumbleCat Inc • HumbleCat is a 501(c)3 nonprofit based in Michigan, USA.