Do you go to one of those churches that believes in literal faith-based miracles? There are many sects in my area that if you have some sort of infirmity and god doesn’t heal you, then you aren’t a “true believer” and get ostracized exactly like this.

I go where I'm appreciated. If I'm not appreciated somewhere then what's the point on trying to get through when its not a me problem, its a them problem.

Can’t speak for Christian churches but I run a Druidic grove and both in that and in the larger pagan community where I’m at I haven’t had any issues being involved and people being considerate about my sight. In our planning meetings each year we work to find new and better ways to keep space for those with disabilities in all our gatherings as much as possible.

I've been a Christian for a long time and been severely visually impaired for five years now. I would say that a lot of congregations fail not because they don't want to accommodate, it's because they don't know how to accommodate. Unfortunately, a lot of well meaning people can't fathom how hard certain things are for a disabled individual. I wouldn't hesitate to talk to the minister or an elder about your concerns. If you tell them what you need and how they might accommodate (ie describing pictures in sermon slides, etc.,)' I'm sure they will try to do so. If not, then it's not the right church for you.

Im Jewish and never had this issue? Though I attend a small synagogue and not a Christian church. I attend almost all events like berry picking, candle lighting and various holidays.

This sounds more like a church issue than anything else.

Id suggest maybe looking into soup kitchens for volunteering! I really enjoyed it when I did it and its a great way to help your community. You could even start your own “club” for it and be the leader if you dont have that volunteer area started already.

You also could go to a different church to “try them out” with Bible study before attending a full service.

As for the elders im not sure how to help with that ):

Unitarian Universalism is very accommodating of various beliefs and has a good track record with disability activism, inclusion, accommodation, and even lobbying: https://www.uua.org/accessibility

They also have an optional disability-friendly certification that specific congregations can get

i dont believe that religion universally makes people better. there's a youtuber that comes to mind that in nearly every video says something religious and shows off an image of kindness and a happy religious family that helps out disadvantaged people. yet one time i complained about being told to 'pray more' at the end of a video by them, i got blasted and told that it's their right as an American to have freedom of speech. there was no communicating the issue, trying to understand me, or get into a dialogue where we can find some common ground.

just totally shut down and disregarded in a rude and abrupt way.

my point is, even those that portray an imagine of absolute perfect Christianity, really aren't always good people deep down. especially those that tell you to pray more lack a certain kind of moral decency.

when you watch what goes on around the world, be it in news, or social media, it sort of becomes evident that a large portion of people truly don't care about anyone else besides themselves.

i don't know if it's an even split between people like you and people like them or whatever but it's clear that not everyone is capable of caring about others.

i guess my point is, it's evident that they aren't good people. try to find yourself some more good people to be around instead.

Good Jesus, first I’ve heard of it but I wouldn’t put it passed most churches. Was it the church bitties doing this and have you brought it up the the pastor or the church elders?

I feel this. I used to go to a Church back in 2016-2017 that I was NOT accepted at. I am at a better church now that I love very much. And am accepted at. I joined the Choir and am gonna go to a young adult bible study tomorrow hopefully. I would look for your zipcode on a church directory and just call and see if they have a ride or if they are maybe more accepting. I would recommend the CBN Church Finder. I can pm you the link if you want.

The only thing people and churches have ever done for me is try to pray or ostracize me for being queer. As others have said, I go where I am appreciated.

It sounds like you really like the teaching but the church culture is not inclusive, despite your attempts to address this through the church leadership. I personally think that the culture is really important and if it is not a good fit for you it may be worth exploring other churches. It sounds like you have really tried to make this work. So many churches have online options since Covid that you could possibly continue to listen to the message that you enjoy online if your church offers this (or find a different church that has an online option with quality teaching as it doesn’t have to be local) and find another local church which is more accepting. It would be ideal if this church also had teaching as good as where you are now, but perhaps this could be compromised for a better community if you cannot find your whole wish list at a new church. Is it definitely your blindness which is the only issue, or is this possibly a cliquey church and generally hard for people to break into? I have often found new or growing churches are really great options for friendlier cultures- or churches which have many options to connect and opportunities to volunteer in different roles. I wish you all the very best in finding somewhere which is a good fit for you and which appreciates you and all you have to offer the community.

You’re very welcome and accepted here! And given how big the subreddit has become, there may be folks in this subreddit who live close by and provide very specific advice about local churches.

I live in a medium-sized city where my friends have found mosques, temples, churches, synagogues, and other places where they feel welcome and accepted. You deserve exactly the same. You deserve better because you deserve what everyone deserves.

Although it’s not a religious text, The Art of Living by Epictetus, interpreted by Sharon Lebell, can help one’s thinking about acceptance, community, and life goals. The audio book is available on Audible.com at this link:

https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Art-of-Living-Audiobook/B002V017O0?source_code=GO1GB547041122911M&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvLOTBhCJARIsACVldV3ibUiKC-OeGmpU_TdQb9rIb22FjTIcYXGIL10nAgSgheReUqmRkUoaAum3EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

It’s a book in the Western tradition, but much of it will be familiar to readers of texts of other cultures and traditions.

Happiness can only be found within.

Clear thinking is vital.

Know what you can control and what you can’t.

Living wisdom is more important the knowing about it.

Never suppress a generous impulse.

Take a stand.

Trust your moral intuitions.

There’s a page on each of those and many other topics. Some sentences may seem trite, but after two thousand years of seeping into Western culture that’s what happens. And folks who like to read religious and philosophical texts will recognize numerous concepts that are essentially the same as what Epictetus wrote about. A number of people arrived at the same approach to living.

To my memory, the Tao Te Ching is similar, but it provides a different perspective. According to Wikipedia, Tao Te Ching translates to “the way of virtue” or “the way of integrity.”

And it must be said that what’s great about these texts, aside from their usefulness to everyday living, is their brevity.

Anyway, given all that, if you think the people of your church aren’t according you respect, take a stand. Be direct. You could say something like, “I’ve liked talking to you here, and I was wondering if you wanted to meet for coffee and chat. I’ve got some funny stories to tell you.” Or whatever.

Or, if you can, ask to speak to the whole congregation, if your church allows for members to take more than ceremonial roles. If you could say, “Hi, I want to talk to you about blindness briefly, and just once. Then I want to get beyond that and tell you about what I’ll do for the AV team. And—wait for it!—I’ve got a really good joke at the end.”

And try to do that in three minutes or less. Get one main point across. If you want to practice that sort of thing, send me a private message and I’ll connect you to a free online group for practicing pitches.

Let us know how it goes!

I'm an atheist now, and it's been a long time since I've been to church regularly. I do feel like the church I went to as a kid didn't treat us particularly differently. I helped out with the nursery for a time in highschool (and playing with little kids was more fun than listening to sermons). I'm sure this varies by congregation and denomination, and exposure to disability and to diversity.

I will say, I do, by far, get more pity from Christian types, just, on the street. Like people who come up to me and tell me Jesus will heal me, or can they pray with me. I've had one or two not explicitly Christian pity conversations, so it's not exclusive to Christians, but it's definitely mostly them.

This could be because Christians are told repeatedly and often to be loud about their faith, and talking about Jesus healing seems like an easy start to that conversation. But I think it's also because Christianity has stories and tradition of healing miracles (whether the person believes in literal faith healing, or not). So there's an expectation both that magical healing is possible, and that it must be what every disabled person wants.

They don't see the inherent ableism in that stance: I can't have a good life because I'm blind; I must want to be healed; I must be miserable and want the hope of something better (because the life I have now isn't good). I feel like, unfortunately, there's something in Christian culture and teachings that makes pity and ableism easier to get to than in other subcultures.

My church i grew up in so i have ppl constantly saying sorry to me bc of my blindness, it sucks

For me, they key to fitting in to any group, has been not to try. No one can really control what someone else thinks, feels, or does. The only person we might be able to control is ourself. While I may not be able to make anyone else like me I can try to make sure I show them someone they should like. If I do that and am accepted fantastic. Otherwise, they are the problem and it is time to move on.

You should take the hint. Religion is poison.

Yes I can definitely relate. Our last Pastor let me assist with Sunday school, just basically helping answer questions etc. It was a lot of fun. I was also part of a prayer group during that time. The group wasn't affiliated with the church, but my former Pastor let them use a room in the building. During my current Pastor's time, I haven't been able to serve anywhere as of yet.
Wehn I first went to my church back in 2007, they kept praying for my healing, yeah I let them do this. You might ask why, because I believe that any kind of prayers are good. That wore off after about 7-8 months or so. Now they do accept me for who I am. I just don't get to do anything, which has annoyed me lately.

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