This is easier said than done and is obvious, but don’t feel bad. With your rapid vision loss and light sensitivity, what will happen if you don’t use your cane? Frustration, anxiety, and potentially harmful accidents. I’ll speak to my own experiences- when I was more low vision, I used my cane in crowds and eventually all the time, because stairs and curbs were making me anxious. It helped me when I needed help. So you’re not taking away from blind people because you need it.

I also have some limited vision and often have to fight some of the same concerns. When I first brought them up to an uncle who has the same condition I do he gave me the following advice:

>Your safety and wellbeing come first. Nothing else is even a close second. Not what other people think. Not our worries about what other people think.

My advice to you is to put on your walking shoes, wraparound sunglasses and hat then grab your cane and head outside and start walking. The more you do it the easier it will get. The doubts may still pop up from time to time but they will become easier to ignore

Hey, friend. I'm mostly blind, and use my cane primarily because I'm incredibly light sensitive. No-one's ever given me shit about it. I can navigate without my cane, and did so for the first twenty years of my life, but using my cane means that I can concentrate the vision that I do have on my surroundings and not just what's right in front of my feet. It lets me have more awareness of what's going on around me, and I'm safer travelling as a result.

Happily, a cane is one of those things that there isn't a finite number of, so you're not taking a cane away from someone who's totally blind...cane manufacturers will just make more white canes. If a cane is helpful to you, use it! It's not like you're pretending to be blind, you genuinely need it. That's really all that matters.

And at least for me, people mostly stopped asking how many fingers they were holding up once I got past grade school. Adults might ask me what I can or can't see, but not generally that obnoxiously.

Ask them how many fingers you’re holding up while flipping the bird

>I've been told I need to get used to using a cane to help me get around when I'm out in public

Trust them, I've known too many people with a little vision who've broken a bone because they didn't think they needed a cane yet. One woman broke first one leg, healed, then broke the other leg, because she felt like it was a neon sign that she's blind. It looks a hell of a lot better to have a cane in hand than it does to trip so badly you literally break your leg, in broad daylight.

>It almost seems like it's not fair to them that I, someone who is just visually impaired, is using it. I know that's not the case, but I just have this anxiety about it.

I'm glad you know it's irrational. It's fine to only use a cane when you need it, but we, people who've lost our vision, are such awful judges of that. Learn your safety skills, and don't even think about people who're blinder, because it doesn't matter. If a cane helps, I think you should be using a cane.

>Also, how many times has someone said "how many fingers am I holding up?" Whenever you have to say you're visually impaired?

Just... every time. So many times. I always get tempted to beat them with my cane tbh, but I know that's not productive.

Please don’t wait to start using a cane until you have a “blind incident” like I did. I had 2 before I would admit that my night vision was too bad for me not to use one. As I got accustomed to it, I found I preferred to use it during the day too so I could close my eyes instead of squinting through the bright lights and glare. Now I travel with it all the time and feel so much safer.

From someone who is totally blind, you are preparing for the worst case scenario. You'll receive no judgment from me. Odds are the only ones judging you are people who have no visual impairment or have no experience talking to anyone with one, and they can kindly keep their ignorance to themselves. Do what you gotta do!

I don't think you realize yet that blindness is a spectrum. Only a rather small minority of the blind don't see anything. Most people who use canes don't use them because they don't see anything at all, but just see too little to navigate their surroundings safely and effortlessly at all times.

Even if you use a cane because you just have a hard time spotting stairs or thresholds but wouldn't walk into a pole, that's perfectly valid. There's even canes that are just for identifying oneself as VIP to other traffic participants and if you're seriously VIP you should definitely consider using that for extra safety even if you feel mostly capable in traffic. No sane blind person is going to hold that against you imho. It's regularly sighted folks that unfortunately often don't get the nuances of disability. Lack of education is the problem, not people who only slightly benefit from a cane.

If you have to doubt whether or not you should use it, just use it and own it. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones. There's very little to gain also from pretending to be VIP because you'll seldomly get a discount for that and even if you do you'll probably be asked for more formal proof than having a cane.

The thing the blind struggle with is that in some places apparently lots of people pretend their regular dogs are guide dogs. But that's a different topic entirely.

tl;dr: if it helps you, use it and rock it. If it's going to help you only in the future, use it and become proficient with it early. We understand.

I'm going to take a little different direction here. I lost my sight in a car accident in 1999 after working for 20 years creating titles in the games industry (Atari Accolade Mattel Toys). I got O&M training and spent almost 20 years refusing to use my cane. I'm stubborn, and I have broken all of my toes so many times I can't remember. My wife is a true expert in trauma care and became very adept at bandaging me up with all the lacerations from running into things over the years. I have 5% remaining sight which is low vision - no detail past a couple inches in one eye and no light perception in the other. I literally spent years stumbling through life.

Like you, I felt embarrassed/guilty/worried to use a cane because I wasn't totally blind. I feel like we all went through and will always go through the "how many fingers" routine, you get used to it, and it doesn't bother me like it used to. People who don't have a visually impaired person in their life don't get how to interact with blind or visually impaired people so they use humor to defuse the tension they feel when they don't know how to act. To make the situation with these people worse, I was always embarrassed to talk about my vision loss and how it affected me day to day.

I was sad that I was missing my twin boy's birthdays and other special moments so I started to carry a camera around with me (with my cane), and take photos of the family gatherings so I could see them on my big computer monitor afterward. I could see a little color and some shapes and I fell in love with photography. You want to talk about awkward? a blind photographer? The things people said. So I did what anyone in my position could do.. I went back to school and completed degrees in studio art and fine art photography lol. I applied for a guide dog in 2017 and got my first guide in 2018. I don't sell my work, I only donate it to lighthouse for the blind, guide dogs for the blind and other organizations that offer life changing opportunities. The coolest part about where I am now is, since I got my guide dog, I have no broken toes or lacerations on my legs!

Now, with all that being said, a few years ago I set out to work on the toughest part about being blind for me, being able to talk about it openly and honestly with those who are fully sighted. I started to put myself into situations where I would have to talk about my vision loss. It was terrifying at first, but each time I did it, it became easier and easier. It helped to desensitize my fear and today I speak about my method for photography to large groups, and have used my photography to create a body of work featuring my guide dog that aims to promote the use of legitimate service animals in the travel and hospitality industry.

It has taken years, but I am finally comfortable sharing my vision loss story, and some of the most rewarding talks for me have happened at summer camps for blind and visually impaired kids. Being able to talk to them and hear their stories, and offer words of encouragement as a peer rather than someone who is fully sighted and says they know what they are going through it an amazing feeling.

Learn to use your damn cane, don't feel guilty about it. If anyone has a problem with it, realize they aren't traveling the same path you are and that they likely have little to no idea what you are going through. I get people all the time that say "yeah I'm blind without my glasses so I know what you are going through". My best advice is to treat your cane like a tool and learn it until it becomes second nature. Don't let the opinions of others (or your fears of what they might say) determine what you need to do to navigate your world safely and effectively. Don't stumble through life like I did.

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk, I have talked to so many people in your position and I'm more than happy to help. My wife is supportive too, and make sure that you tell your wife often how much you appreciate her help and understanding as you learn to navigate your world again.

Totally blind person here.

For one, I don’t think you’re taking anything away from me. By using one. Use one and be proud of it. Learn now before you go blind totally and then struggle to learn it and can’t go anywhere because you don’t know and didn’t prepare.

I mean are you faking your blindness? No? Well good then you should be able to use one. You’re not mocking the blind or using a cane to fake things and guilt people and making a bad job of everything right? Okay. Then.

I can’t even think of how you’re taking away from me and I don’t mind you using a cane. Hahaha! :D I encourage it.

Also, you’re not limiting me to canes. Haha!


I literally have a real cane corner, and I am not even kidding with between 10 and 20 canes. I’ll never ever run out! Mwahahahahaha! I have 9 or 10 in that corner and have 3 or 4 by the door. I literally have a few different sizes and 3 or 4 cane brands, nfb, dcanes, iowa/commander tech, ambutech. I have different materials and tips too. No jok! :D

So yeah, I have enough to give a few to you or others and still have some to use. I don’t think you’re taking anything away from me. I could probably collect more canes and amass more and hey look I am still not taking any away from anyone else

If anything nfb gives one to anyone who wants it every six months so yeah.

Do not feel bad, You are preparing for being better able to function.

Do what you need to do.

I was born legally blind, and I've had some ups and downs, but my vision is the same now as it was when I was a kid. I never used a cane then. I didn't start using a cane until I was 40. Nothing changed with my vision. My doc told me that a lot of folks who are in the same boat is me start using one around my age if they haven't already - falls hurt and you heal slower than you do when you're a kid. Plus your balance gets worse as you get older.

I've also found that I look and present myself much better in a professional setting with a cane than I do wandering around lost and stumbling over things.

Hang in there. Do what you need to do to be safe. That's what matters most.

You know I understand the feeling. Plus I'm super stubborn as well and I just have to do what's best for me I still Have some vision in my right eye and I use a cane.

Don't feel bad. Since you're losing your vision and have light sensitivity, the cane is a tool that you need for yourself. You're not taking away from completely blind people. It's not about that. The cane is a mobility aid for both the completely blind and the visually impaired.. Most people who are considered blind also do have some remaining vision in some way.

I also felt the same way once. I'm legally blind with 20/200 acuity in my best eye, and I always felt like "I wasn't blind enough" to actually use a cane, even though I've gotten cane lessons and orientation & mobility lessons since elementary school. Ultimately, I think you'll disover that you have a much better time getting around and are more comfortable navigating with a cane than when you don't have it.


As for people asking "how many fingers am I holding up?" Yes, absolutely. It's something that never ends. It never ends. People just feel compelled to say it. Haha

Um your bad feeling are basically because you (like me, like many) had the false belief that only those with no light perception use canes. This is not true.
People all across the vision loss spectrum use canes. If someone recommended it to you it’s probably worth exploring. And I’m learning how to use mine too. Good luck!

BTW, this video is relevant to your concerns:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U586xmk2JC0

My site has gone downhill very rapidly. One of the best pieces of advice from a good totally blind person I got Was get a cane quickly and learned to use it. Learn all you can now! It’s just going to get harder. I don’t worry about other peoples fingers as long as they keep them away from you. And the best to all of you. I really wish there was a community to visit others Going through what we are. Cheers