Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Dealing with the overwhelmingness - How? (self.Blind)
submitted by blazblu82
Like anyone else, I have my good days and bad days. However, the bad days can be quite challenging and hard to shake off. Since my DPR DX almost 3 years ago, the anomalous junk I see in both eyes has become more prevalent and outright hard to ignore. On top of it, it seems like when my vision isn't doing as good, my hearing sensitivity gets cranked up and I'm generally in an unpleasant mood for most of the day. On those days, I am sensitive to everything and feel like I'm losing my mind to the chaos. It's days like these that make me question whether I should be trying to get back to work or not.
Besides dealing with what I explained above, I get really annoyed when others don't take notice that I'm not doing so hot and act like nothing is wrong or it they do, they way over extend themselves unnecessarily. I end up giving up things so others don't have to. Like my folks for instance. My Dad has severe tinnitus and has to have the volume on his TV's loud, which is the opposite of how I would watch TV. This in turn develops into a "yell and huh" match between everybody. Most of the time, I just seek refuge in the basement.
This whole thing I'm going through is a total head job and I often question my sanity, both mentally and visually. Anybody feel the same? How are you coping with the changes?
Besides dealing with what I explained above, I get really annoyed when others don't take notice that I'm not doing so hot and act like nothing is wrong or it they do, they way over extend themselves unnecessarily. I end up giving up things so others don't have to. Like my folks for instance. My Dad has severe tinnitus and has to have the volume on his TV's loud, which is the opposite of how I would watch TV. This in turn develops into a "yell and huh" match between everybody. Most of the time, I just seek refuge in the basement.
This whole thing I'm going through is a total head job and I often question my sanity, both mentally and visually. Anybody feel the same? How are you coping with the changes?
pisces0387 7 points 1y ago
I'm total from birth, but still do have my bad days
what if any, interaction have you had with organisations that might be able to help? Have you had any O&m training? Any counselling to deal with the changes in your vision? Also, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Is living on your own an option? Living with family can be very taxing, so perhaps living on your own would give you some much needed space?
what if any, interaction have you had with organisations that might be able to help? Have you had any O&m training? Any counselling to deal with the changes in your vision? Also, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Is living on your own an option? Living with family can be very taxing, so perhaps living on your own would give you some much needed space?
blazblu82 [OP] 5 points 1y ago
I'm 39 years old and currently unemployed. Lost my job earlier this year and been looking for work, unsuccessfully.
So far, the only visual rehab center in town has yet to see fit to provide me any sort of training. Almost feels like no one there is taking me seriously. I haven't seen any counselors, either.
If it was just my Dad I was living with, I think things would be much better. My Mom, on the other hand, is a handful. She is always over extending herself to help me out unnecessarily and gets offended if I say something. I wish I could live on my own, but no income right now and still waiting on SSDI to make a decision.
I'm hoping going to college this fall will help out my mental health. Being stuck at home more than I'm used to really sucks.
So far, the only visual rehab center in town has yet to see fit to provide me any sort of training. Almost feels like no one there is taking me seriously. I haven't seen any counselors, either.
If it was just my Dad I was living with, I think things would be much better. My Mom, on the other hand, is a handful. She is always over extending herself to help me out unnecessarily and gets offended if I say something. I wish I could live on my own, but no income right now and still waiting on SSDI to make a decision.
I'm hoping going to college this fall will help out my mental health. Being stuck at home more than I'm used to really sucks.
pisces0387 3 points 1y ago
if it's not long since the changes, it's likely your mum just thinks she's helping, but I do totally understand how annoying it is, and would be. Re the work thing, I have tried to do it many times, have had to make my peace with the fact it will likely just not happen now, I'm 4 years younger than you, I totally take on board the needing to do something, and be out of the house etc, but don't give yourself a hard time unnecessarily about the work.
blazblu82 [OP] 2 points 1y ago
The changes really kicked in the beginning of last year when I lost my right eye to a failed vitrectomy. Since then, left eye suffered a bad bleed in November last year which ultimately got me let go from my job.
I've been living with my folks for almost 3 months now and I do miss having my own space, especially when my previous residence was 1300 square feet and I'm now in a 200 square foot room.
I'm sure I'll get over it, but it's hard to shake when constantly reminded that I'm not the person I used to be.
I've been living with my folks for almost 3 months now and I do miss having my own space, especially when my previous residence was 1300 square feet and I'm now in a 200 square foot room.
I'm sure I'll get over it, but it's hard to shake when constantly reminded that I'm not the person I used to be.
pisces0387 1 points 1y ago
sounds like in a lot of ways you are still adjusting, which is totally understandable. I wear 2 prosthesis ( eyes ) myself, but have had them many years, and I was already blind when I had them removed. are you in the US?
TechnicalPragmatist 2 points 1y ago
Have you got training for independent living skills? Mobility, and assistive technology?
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
No, none of it has been offered. I think they think I'm not bad enough for it, but I don't know.
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
I see.
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
I even asked for it thru voc rehab and they said they would offer it if it was needed.
TechnicalPragmatist 1 points 1y ago
That’s interesting how do they know you don’t need it do you struggle with doing things in your house blind? How do they know or how much vision do you have left?
bradley22 1 points 1y ago
I was born blind, I can see lights and outlines, yeah people helping you and not taking no for an answer is really fucking annoying.
potato_rock_bandit 1 points 1y ago
This is a lot of things to be dealing with. I'm really sorry this has happened to you..
I can relate the chunks of stuff in your eyes. My retinas got damaged by some severe inflammation events, I even had recognisable chunks that were always floating around. I had cataract surgerya while back and it revealed that I had a giant cloud of debris in that particular eye that had been sitting out of sight from me until the lens replacement surgery, then that disturbed it eoungh it floated to the centre of my vision and not even the YAG made that couldiness go away. The only fix for it was a vitrectomy, they had to flush my eye twice and scrub the back of the lens to remove debris that had crusted onto my new lens or something. I'd had a vitrectomy before on the other eye as part of a hospital stay, but the second time it was a day surgery procedure.
As to other types of health issues arising during the stresses of vision change or loss, I've found that for myself. I live with.complex PTSD from childhood trauma, and vision loss stressors made those symptoms a lot stronger and something I needed to keep track of and deal with.
And I'm totally with you on the hearing aid and loud tv thing. That sort of thing drives me snakey, always has, as it maes the TV and all the screaming conversations into the only thing I can focus on. It's a big yuck. I also used to be on a mindset where I wanted to get back to normal life as much as possible, so I can really understand your drive to just get a job and get on with your life, especially if it helps you get some independence and freedom from some key features of your home life. Edited to add: please consider that where you are at right now is pjossibly the most challenging thing you have dealt with in a while, and as such you may benefit from taking the pressure off yourself to get back to everything for now, and get more familiar with the challenges you're facing now and how they vary over time. It sounds like you may be noticing some things about your mental and emotional health that are not working the way you expect.
I can relate the chunks of stuff in your eyes. My retinas got damaged by some severe inflammation events, I even had recognisable chunks that were always floating around. I had cataract surgerya while back and it revealed that I had a giant cloud of debris in that particular eye that had been sitting out of sight from me until the lens replacement surgery, then that disturbed it eoungh it floated to the centre of my vision and not even the YAG made that couldiness go away. The only fix for it was a vitrectomy, they had to flush my eye twice and scrub the back of the lens to remove debris that had crusted onto my new lens or something. I'd had a vitrectomy before on the other eye as part of a hospital stay, but the second time it was a day surgery procedure.
As to other types of health issues arising during the stresses of vision change or loss, I've found that for myself. I live with.complex PTSD from childhood trauma, and vision loss stressors made those symptoms a lot stronger and something I needed to keep track of and deal with.
And I'm totally with you on the hearing aid and loud tv thing. That sort of thing drives me snakey, always has, as it maes the TV and all the screaming conversations into the only thing I can focus on. It's a big yuck. I also used to be on a mindset where I wanted to get back to normal life as much as possible, so I can really understand your drive to just get a job and get on with your life, especially if it helps you get some independence and freedom from some key features of your home life. Edited to add: please consider that where you are at right now is pjossibly the most challenging thing you have dealt with in a while, and as such you may benefit from taking the pressure off yourself to get back to everything for now, and get more familiar with the challenges you're facing now and how they vary over time. It sounds like you may be noticing some things about your mental and emotional health that are not working the way you expect.
blazblu82 [OP] 2 points 1y ago
Aside from the left over blood from my last bleed in November, what I see isn't physical. Rather, it's neurological, I guess. All the different color spots and black spots that randomly come and go, the pulsating light in the blind spots and the bizarre black blobs that roll along the lower left peripheral. Add in my extra sensitive hearing and it becomes maddening at times. I just don't know how to deal with all of it at times and it usually leads to me being in a really bad mood for the day.
I'd very much like to get a job, but so far I can't even get my foot in the door anywhere. My last employer forced me out on bad terms and that's the only experience I have with an employer and my situation. Until that changes, I don't expect to get a job or be able to hold a job for long. If I get another hemorrhage, there's another 3 to 6 months of my life gone while I wait for that eye to clear up and recover. An employer won't hold my job that long.
I truly don't know where to go with my life. This disease has me so wound up and worried that something bad will happen and ruin any progress I make. It sucks living like this.
I'd very much like to get a job, but so far I can't even get my foot in the door anywhere. My last employer forced me out on bad terms and that's the only experience I have with an employer and my situation. Until that changes, I don't expect to get a job or be able to hold a job for long. If I get another hemorrhage, there's another 3 to 6 months of my life gone while I wait for that eye to clear up and recover. An employer won't hold my job that long.
I truly don't know where to go with my life. This disease has me so wound up and worried that something bad will happen and ruin any progress I make. It sucks living like this.
DHamlinMusic 1 points 1y ago
Yeah the random noise is annoying at times, I have gotten used to it for the most part, though bad days I tend to have almost no sight but lots of fake stuff, usually a giant bright column up the right edge of my FOV, which my right eye is NLP officially so that obviously isn’t real, but gives me headaches either way, plus the random filiments that flare in and out sometimes are fun or miserable. I so get the bad days result in bad mood, I have yet to find a good way to deal with that myself.
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