Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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[USA] Feeling defeated and mad at myself - Rant/Vent (self.Blind)
submitted by blazblu82
Just got home from eye dr. Was supposed to have another round of laser in left eye. Well, it didn't happen. She got 2 zaps in and I was done. My left eye cannot handle the flood light she uses. As soon as I see it, I'm done. I can sit there for a few seconds and cuss up a storm and that's it. Now, she's telling me next option is to get the laser done in an OR while I'm under and potentially go after scar tissue on top of it.
I'm feeling pretty defeated and mad at myself over this. Dr tells me left eye looks pretty good inside, but it has all of this visual junk going on with it: blind spots, random black and color spots and more. I don't know what to do anymore. She says if we don't do anything, left eye will go like right eye. I don't have the money or insurance for these procedures. I'm not keen on another surgery because that's how I lost right eye. But, at the same time, I don't want to just do nothing, either.
Does anyone know what other doctors I should be seeing aside from my specialist? Would an eye neurologist be helpful in dealing with the visual junk and photophobia? I know every time I research photophobia, I end up empty handed on solutions other than wearing sunglasses.
It's gonna take a while for me to get over today.
If there are any mistakes, my left eye is blurry as hell right now.
I'm feeling pretty defeated and mad at myself over this. Dr tells me left eye looks pretty good inside, but it has all of this visual junk going on with it: blind spots, random black and color spots and more. I don't know what to do anymore. She says if we don't do anything, left eye will go like right eye. I don't have the money or insurance for these procedures. I'm not keen on another surgery because that's how I lost right eye. But, at the same time, I don't want to just do nothing, either.
Does anyone know what other doctors I should be seeing aside from my specialist? Would an eye neurologist be helpful in dealing with the visual junk and photophobia? I know every time I research photophobia, I end up empty handed on solutions other than wearing sunglasses.
It's gonna take a while for me to get over today.
If there are any mistakes, my left eye is blurry as hell right now.
TripedalCyclops 3 points 1y ago
I am sorry this is happening to you, I have had similar experiences with specialist docs not listening. I had to find another place two hours away because of insurance issues and they are a hard-to-find subspecialty of ophthalmic medicine. If finding a new place is not an option, go for the tranquilizer-then-surgery choice. It's not bad, usually an outpatient procedure (no hospital stay.) I hope this helps, feel better and heal quickly friend, you are not alone
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Do they put you into twilight state like during a colonoscopy? I'm all for it if that's the case, except for the cost since I don't have insurance, yet. I don't want to go fully under again. I didn't handle the anesthesia after last year's vitrectomy. Felt like all the staff pummeled me with baseball bats while I was under, lol!
TripedalCyclops 2 points 1y ago
Ugh, that is terrible about the vitrectomy anesthesia reaction! I have been through the "wtf happened while I was out?" a time or two myself, its like, "why do I feel like I just got in a bad fight?" Sore muscles in strange places, haha.
While I have not yet had the pleasure(/s) of a colonoscopy, I did verify it is basically the same type of twilight for both procedures. You get mellow, sort of out-of-it but not unconscious, but can't remember much if anything afterward. From what I understand, it is much less expensive as well.
While I have not yet had the pleasure(/s) of a colonoscopy, I did verify it is basically the same type of twilight for both procedures. You get mellow, sort of out-of-it but not unconscious, but can't remember much if anything afterward. From what I understand, it is much less expensive as well.
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
Yeah, I've had other surgeries in the past and cannot recall feeling like I did last year.
Sounds like that's the direction I'll go then for laser. Wish I didn't need to, though. Really felt bad for my Dr. Felt like I wasted her time, especially since she's volunteering her time for a few months.
Thanks!
Sounds like that's the direction I'll go then for laser. Wish I didn't need to, though. Really felt bad for my Dr. Felt like I wasted her time, especially since she's volunteering her time for a few months.
Thanks!
CosmicBunny97 2 points 1y ago
I'm sorry to hear that. I struggled with laser to try and treat glaucoma, I remember crying because even putting the lens on hurt. They had to use local anaesthesia on my eye. Maybe that'll help?
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
I can handle the lens, it's the light she uses to see into my eye that hurts like heck. They use numbing drops, but it's not a physical pain. It's like my brain doesn't know what to do except make feel overwhelmed and super anxious and all I can do is pull away. The longer the light shines into my eye, the worse the feeling gets. That eye has been like that since November when it had a bad bleed.
codeplaysleep 1 points 1y ago
Honestly, if doing it under anesthesia is an option and would solve your discomfort, I'd just do that. I had to have cataract surgery under general anesthesia because of my nystagmus and it was super easy. As for insurance, you should be able to get it covered through Medicaid/Medicare. If you're in the process of applying, they can back-date payment to 90 days prior to the date you applied (not the day it was issued) so you don't have to wait for necessary medical proceedures.
blazblu82 [OP] 1 points 1y ago
I can't get Medicaid yet. Too much money in the bank and I can't get myself to spend it down. I'm going to send my dr a message next week and see if they can give me an idea what it'll cost. I know Grene Vision had been charging me 1750 a session there. So, I imagine it'll be more expensive with the twilight and op room usage.
GreenTigerzord 1 points 1y ago
Seems like after Dr. Bruce died, his practice went to shit and price gouging.
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