dumb question: what is the blind-equivalent to getting flowers?(self.Blind)
submitted by No-Anxiety-6491
My bf has no vision at all and I love him with my whole heart. I feel like I generally know the ins and outs of how to adapt things to make them better/easier except this one thing... He always buys me flowers because he knows how much seeing the pretty colour makes me happy. I really love getting him small gifts as a sign of affection, but I always draw a blank and just buy him practical things because a lot of visual stuff isn't as fun to enjoy when you can't see it. I've gotten him plants (ones with funky leaves or with interesting facts to tell him), but it's different. I'm trying to think of something I could get him that gives you the same warm fuzzy feeling anytime you look at it/interact with it. It's probably a dumb question, but I don't have a lot of people I can ask who know the experience of being visually impaired. Does anyone have any ideas? I'm a bit broke but I will happily splurge on him :) Thank you!!
Crafty_Dragon_roll33 points1y ago
If he likes flowers get him flowers. I love when my husband gets me flowers. It's not just about sight. Different flowers have different scents. They feel different too.
What does he like?
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]10 points1y ago
He doesn't like flowers I don't think. He gets really stressed out when he has to take care of something that might die lol (the plants are more of a me project tbh). The smell is a good factor, I've considered candles too but he isn't very comfortable around fire. He likes learning random facts, video games, good foods, going for walks, reading, spending time with his friends, chess, youtube, fidget toys, news, etc.
Crafty_Dragon_roll6 points1y ago
So I'll use reading for this. Get him a book on his preferred format. If he has a tbr list get something from that.
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]2 points1y ago
time to do a sneaky look through his phone to find his tbr list... thank you :) !!
Crafty_Dragon_roll14 points1y ago
You're welcome. And I recommend next time you have a question like this, stop, think about him as a person, not his blindness, what he likes and dislikes, and go from there. This isn't a blind question it's a relationship question.
Tarnagona10 points1y ago
Definitely think of what he like first, and go from there. If he likes scented candles without the fire, you could try a wax melt or oil diffuser. If you know what genres he likes to read, get him a book in his preferred format. Make his favourite cookies.
However, I wouldn’t go poking through his phone unless that’s already established as a cool thing to do, as he may take that as a violation of privacy (I know I probably would, even though all the stuff on my phone is pretty mundane). You can always just ask what he’s looking forward to reading next.
oldfogey123451 points1y ago
Lol No no!
Just ask him if he likes audio books and then get him an audible subscription. No need to go through the guy's phone.
ukifrit3 points1y ago
Take him to a nice, different restaurant. Or order some different stuff for a special dinner for you both.
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]2 points1y ago
Yes! We do dinners pretty regularly, but I think i'm gonna pull out all the stops next time :)
codeplaysleep1 points1y ago
If he doesn't have them already, metal fidget toys are so much nicer than the cheap plastic stuff - find a couple of his favs and buy him solid brass versions of them.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to go through his telephone. How would you feel if he did that to you? I think if someone got into my telephone I would be angry and feel betrayed.
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]2 points1y ago
I feel I should clarify I don't mean actually snoop haha! I use his phone pretty often and he uses mine, we share a lot of accounts and shit so it's easier if we have each other's stuff... id just peak at it if i wanted it to be a surprise but otherwise would ask. Sorry I should have specified that one 😅
Sewn272 points1y ago
I’m so glad to hear that. I also want to apologize that my email is full of errors. I should have listened to it before I posted it. Let us know what you decide to do. I’m sure that we all would like to have someone like you in our lives. Your boyfriend is very lucky!
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]2 points1y ago
No stress at all! My writing is always atrocious so I am not one to judge. I'll add an edit once I figure out what I'm going to give him and surprise him with it. I appreciate you (and everyone's) kindness so much. I have to say though, I'm definitely the lucky one in the relationship :)
SiriuslyGranger10 points1y ago
I don’t see why a blind person can’t enjoy flowers though.
oldfogey123456 points1y ago
Flowers are an amazing gift for women. Blind women especially included. It just doesn't seem like it's a suitable gift for OP's boyfriend given her comments.
But yes, blind people can enjoy the touch and smell of flowers and the public spectacle of getting flowers at work or school. Someone will be happy to read the card and tell them the color.
SiriuslyGranger3 points1y ago
Yeah, maybe.
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]1 points1y ago
They totally can! For him they're just not something he finds particularly appealing. I don't think the feeling is really the same if I describe them... feels like a gift to myself ya know? I more want something around the same level as flowers, but that he could enjoy in a way i would maybe never think of since I don't have the same life experiences as him... Idk mostly spitballing
SiriuslyGranger1 points1y ago
I see, you wouldn’t need to describe them blind people can enjoy feeling and smelling them. I probably wouldn’t like flowers myself. Have you thought of a tech gadget like a braille display or something?
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]1 points1y ago
Sorry I meant the feeling and smelling doesn't appeal and THEN the describing feels self-satisfying, does that make sense? Right now i'm saving up for a fancy tech thing for him... can't say more though because he might stumble over my reddit and then my plans are ruined hehe
SiriuslyGranger2 points1y ago
Yeah, I see. I think some people who are blind do really like flowers haha! I am a techy myself so yeah.
Sewn276 points1y ago
You are so sweet to want to spoil him a bit. Maybe just an arrangement of fruits, hard candies, cookies, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. There’s so many ways that you can go with this. Especially with the Internet available. You could make for him if that something you enjoy, different bread, cookies,fruit cakes etc. A nice pair of warm soft, soft socks, shirt,sweater, throw rug etc. appeal to the other senses, texture, taste, maybe musical collection. In my day we used to make tapes for each other. Let your imagination rip! Men’s grooming products. Scented oil‘s. I wish you great luck in spoiling the one you love❣️💖
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]1 points1y ago
So many great idea I might just make a whole basket hehe!! Thank you :) A lot of these I've definitely given to him before but never can have too much chocolate ;)
Sewn272 points1y ago
You are very welcome ❣️
xoxo010splat5 points1y ago
I feel like he gets you flowers bc you like flowers! Just get him something he likes! The possibilities are endless. You prob know him very well so instead of thinking it as something he cant enjoy focus on what you know he likes. You can find some really cool and textured fidget toys, a book, or maybe some fun new foods to try.
Campfire774 points1y ago
Music, a record player, records.
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]1 points1y ago
Is it true it sounds different on records? I've never gotten to hear one lol
Campfire772 points1y ago
That’s the word on the street.
LaraStardust3 points1y ago
I've bought my totally blind girlfriend flowers on many occasions. Had no complaints thus far. Side note, if you bought me (male) a bunch of flowers, I'd date you too! lol. Flowers are universally loved by deaf, blind, sighted and wheelchair bound. I have hay fever, and I still love them.
lightsrage851 points1y ago
I love flowers! they smell so good!
ColdShadowKaz3 points1y ago
How about figures from his favourite geeky fandoms. Not funko pops because those things all are the same other than a few minor changes but something more realistic looking so he can really get a good feel of the character.
kramwam3 points1y ago
Think about what he likes. I love drinking tea, brew me a nice spicy tea and we will be good friends forever and ever :)
oldfogey123453 points1y ago
Hey OP, you should read "The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapmen."
Some people are made happy with gifts, others are made happy just by you telling them how great they are for you. Still others are made happy by things you do for them.
It sounds like you are made happy by gifts, and that's great, but maybe your BF has a different thing that makes him happy.
The book is amazing read either way, and might be able to give you other options than giving gifts which you are unsure whether he will be able to use or not.
Just a thought
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]3 points1y ago
We took the love language test together near the beginning of our relationship... I don't know if you could guess from this post but mine was gift giving. His was words of affection and quality time, so I always try to use those methods to show my love. Sometimes it just feels like he deserves all the love languages though, ya know? I didn't know there was an official book tho! I'll look into it, thank you!
oldfogey123452 points1y ago
Read it together and talk about it of he is up for it.
ukifrit3 points1y ago
I give plants, and flowers too, to my GF. She likes to take care of plants so it’s okay not to see them for her.
blackberrybunny3 points1y ago
Does he have a dog? Get him a new toy or special treat for his pup? Or for his cat? (If he has either). I know I really appreciate when someone sends along something just for my beagle boy. I love that more than a gift to me.
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]1 points1y ago
No animals (yet, fingers crossed I can convince him one day) but maybe a stuffed animal? Pet without the stress and responsibility lol
ColoradoCorrie3 points1y ago
Get him flowers that are very fragrant.
turtleproblems13 points1y ago
Buy speakers. Buy some very nice sounding speakers and find some audio to play for you both to hear. Vibrations will both hit you the same way so it will be a shared experience. 8) yeah?!
No-Anxiety-6491 [OP]4 points1y ago
Laying on the floor and listening to good music is the answer to all of life's problems. He does need a new speaker, that's so perfect :)
r_12352 points1y ago
You yourself sound like a sweet gift. Lol! I am hoping that doesn't come out weirdly.
I think nice soft shirts can be cool gift for blind boys. We do enjoy smelling flowers, but for us it's like just a minutes worth of fun and then we are borred mostly. Some boys might enjoy, but, I get borred with flowers very quick. Cool gadgets, specially which will help him in his life to do more, are 200% go. But, that gadget is thing is very subjective, so unless you are 100% sure that he needs that gadget, don't spend money on it.
Audiobook or Ebooks are also good, and an audible subscription is like gifting a netflix subscription. We do enjoy those streaming services as well.
How about taking him to an audio described movie at the theatre? Not all theatres provide this facility, but if you can find one, I think the blind guy might enjoy the accessible movie watching experience with his significant other.
At the end, this boils down to what your BF likes. Blind or not, if the gift is not according to his interests, then no boy is gonna take interest in it I suppose. Although I might just fake my interest to make my partner happy, who knows.
DannyMTZ9562 points1y ago
Chocolates do the trick for me… Pie too.
-roarnation2 points1y ago
im sure the people said this but a blind person would love flowers the smells are amazing. and as a man i would love to receive flowers!
LittleLostPrince2 points1y ago
You could give him flowers in return, I love flowers, they smell amazing, and I love to feel the pedals.
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