Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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I would like to complain somewhere (self.Blind)
submitted by RoutineJello2556
I am mostly blind piano student. My teacher, I know, shields me from a lot of painful experiences. I meet many kind and generous people, but often, when other students are frustrated, they use my blindness to account for all the problems in a group.
Today I was playing in a chamber group. I must memorize everything I play, and my ipad, where my sheet music is stored, was out of batteries, so I had it plugged into a wall socket a few feet away from the piano. When a member of group wanted to start in a certain spot, they would call out a measure number, and I would check the ipad.
At the end of rehearsal, one of the group members told me to put the ipad on the piano next time, so that it would not take so long to start. I know they maybe do not realize, but the time it took me to get up and look at the ipad took at most 2 seconds extra. The truth is, it just takes me a long time to find the spot they are talking about. But even this, for me, was not long, at most 5 seconds. And some of the difficulty was because I had different measure numbers than them. I am also annoyed because I did not complain about all the time they took figuring out bowings (which do not involve my part at all).
I am very frustrated. If they wanted to complain about my rhythm, or my missing notes, that is fine, those things are my fault and I can work on them. But it wasn’t my fault rehearsal went slowly, I was actually playing very little of the time. It seems like certain people use my blindness to pin all their frustrations on.
But the other members of the group were very nice,so I should not complain. I suppose all I can do is try to be unimpeachably accurate, so that people cannot use me as scapegoat.
Today I was playing in a chamber group. I must memorize everything I play, and my ipad, where my sheet music is stored, was out of batteries, so I had it plugged into a wall socket a few feet away from the piano. When a member of group wanted to start in a certain spot, they would call out a measure number, and I would check the ipad.
At the end of rehearsal, one of the group members told me to put the ipad on the piano next time, so that it would not take so long to start. I know they maybe do not realize, but the time it took me to get up and look at the ipad took at most 2 seconds extra. The truth is, it just takes me a long time to find the spot they are talking about. But even this, for me, was not long, at most 5 seconds. And some of the difficulty was because I had different measure numbers than them. I am also annoyed because I did not complain about all the time they took figuring out bowings (which do not involve my part at all).
I am very frustrated. If they wanted to complain about my rhythm, or my missing notes, that is fine, those things are my fault and I can work on them. But it wasn’t my fault rehearsal went slowly, I was actually playing very little of the time. It seems like certain people use my blindness to pin all their frustrations on.
But the other members of the group were very nice,so I should not complain. I suppose all I can do is try to be unimpeachably accurate, so that people cannot use me as scapegoat.
Upper_Case3691 9 points 1y ago
Honestly, that sucks. I know how you are feeling and what you’re going through. Unfortunately, I can’t really say it’s going to get better. But I’ve just kind of gotten used to it.
r_1235 3 points 1y ago
Yup, there are always people like this everywhere. Best bet is to just ignore them and do your work as best as you can.
Let your work speak for you, leave them behind, with their complains.
Let your work speak for you, leave them behind, with their complains.
Daniel6Skins 2 points 1y ago
oh man I can definitely see that happening to me in the future. I'm two semesters into my music degree so I haven't gotten to playing with other people yet.
How good are your teachers at accommodations?
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What sorts of accommodations do you use when it comes to reading and writing scores and anything else that goes on in your classes.
How good are your teachers at accommodations?
​
What sorts of accommodations do you use when it comes to reading and writing scores and anything else that goes on in your classes.
Central_Control 1 points 1y ago
Tell them factually that no, you will not be able to accomodate their request due to your disability. No.
That's it. You can say no. Try it.
That's it. You can say no. Try it.
thebrightworker 1 points 1y ago
i admire you for using it as a motivator to improve yourself as a fuck you to the arseholes.
ive recently been watching a bunch of clips from behavioural/pychologists who break down video clips from interviews and such, for example amber heard with the recently defamation trial. a lot of the stuff they pointed out related to what you described with the scapegoating. trying to deflect the judgement from themselves onto someone else in the hopes that they can be seen as the good guy instead. even in private some people really feel a need to crap all over someone else to make them feel better.
and then there's a freestyle rapper called blind fury that i binge watch, he can make up rymes for hours upon hours off the top of his head, very talented. anyway, when he used to enter battles the opponent would try to use his blindness against him so i saw one particular clip where he just laid it out, yeah im blind, so now youre gonna have to think about your ryme. because for some they don't have originality and can't really bring you down based on who you are as a person and can only aim for below the belt.
ive recently been watching a bunch of clips from behavioural/pychologists who break down video clips from interviews and such, for example amber heard with the recently defamation trial. a lot of the stuff they pointed out related to what you described with the scapegoating. trying to deflect the judgement from themselves onto someone else in the hopes that they can be seen as the good guy instead. even in private some people really feel a need to crap all over someone else to make them feel better.
and then there's a freestyle rapper called blind fury that i binge watch, he can make up rymes for hours upon hours off the top of his head, very talented. anyway, when he used to enter battles the opponent would try to use his blindness against him so i saw one particular clip where he just laid it out, yeah im blind, so now youre gonna have to think about your ryme. because for some they don't have originality and can't really bring you down based on who you are as a person and can only aim for below the belt.
kramwam 1 points 1y ago
If you think you are used as a scapegoat try to stand up for yourself. If they blame you and they are not right you have to let them and others know about it.
SiriuslyGranger 1 points 1y ago
That is certainly not good perhaps say something back to them?
ukifrit 1 points 1y ago
Are you hallowed to choose who you’ll work with? Like, you could try to work with the folks who understand you need more time to do certain stuff and don’t complain because of that.
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