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Had my most recent appt today and it only got worse on the way home (self.Blind)
submitted by TrailMomKat
I have AZOOR, so there ain't much they know to treat it with, but they're starting me.on 80mg of Prednisone which is a *ridiculous* fucking amount.
I was down the whole ride home until my momma called. She was calling to tell me that my cousin died in a helicopter crash. It exploded. I know it can always get worse, but I just don't feel like trying to be a better me tomorrow at all.
I was down the whole ride home until my momma called. She was calling to tell me that my cousin died in a helicopter crash. It exploded. I know it can always get worse, but I just don't feel like trying to be a better me tomorrow at all.
thebrightworker 7 points 1y ago
do the bare minimum to get by, that includes taking your medicine and being mindful of your own health; physical and mental.
ohheckdude 6 points 1y ago
This is super super good advice. I try to keep a bare minimum check list when this happens, like eat, go outside once, take my necessary meds, maybe talk to another person once. Max of 5 small things.
TrailMomKat [OP] 2 points 1y ago
Thanks. I only just woke up a couple hours ago. I did the bare minimum, but I just couldn't sleep. My daddy passed last July, so we're closing in on the anniversary. My cousin and my daddy were like brothers, and my cousin was more like an uncle to me than anything else. My great aunt is inconsolable right now. She buried her grandbaby (OD), all her sisters, her momma, her nephew (my daddy), and her husband (cancer). Now she's burying her only child. My grief is largely due to hers and knowing the hell she's going through.
thebrightworker 2 points 1y ago
\*offers hug\*
i cant recall the technical names but essentially feeling the burden that someone else is under, can be traumatising in of itself, and then that ontop of everything else is a lot. for sure.
keep venting about it online, you sound like youre doing the best you can, and that's plenty.
just, ya know, you need support too. it's okay to not be okay. so if there are additional places or people you can turn to for support, please do.
aniversaries of a death are weird, i only experienced it with one of my brothers that passed away, without even remembering i got into arguments with strangers and i was just so short tempered.. then realising a few days later it was that time of year again. this happened to me for about 3 years after.
before that my other brother died and i handled it pretty well, wasn't too bothered by it until the funeral which caused me to cry uncontrollably. which lead me to not going to my other brother's funeral, and i think that might be partly why i struggled to deal with it.
it's complicated, i know all of these therapies relating to hypnotherapy and used to teach it etc.. yet it still knocked me right on my arse.
i guess we are all human afteral.
​
edit:
thank you for taking care of the bare minimum you needed, i appreciate that.
i cant recall the technical names but essentially feeling the burden that someone else is under, can be traumatising in of itself, and then that ontop of everything else is a lot. for sure.
keep venting about it online, you sound like youre doing the best you can, and that's plenty.
just, ya know, you need support too. it's okay to not be okay. so if there are additional places or people you can turn to for support, please do.
aniversaries of a death are weird, i only experienced it with one of my brothers that passed away, without even remembering i got into arguments with strangers and i was just so short tempered.. then realising a few days later it was that time of year again. this happened to me for about 3 years after.
before that my other brother died and i handled it pretty well, wasn't too bothered by it until the funeral which caused me to cry uncontrollably. which lead me to not going to my other brother's funeral, and i think that might be partly why i struggled to deal with it.
it's complicated, i know all of these therapies relating to hypnotherapy and used to teach it etc.. yet it still knocked me right on my arse.
i guess we are all human afteral.
​
edit:
thank you for taking care of the bare minimum you needed, i appreciate that.
TrailMomKat [OP] 1 points 1y ago
It's called empathy, that secondary pain you feel for what someone you love is suffering through. If there's another term for it, I don't know, I'm just a CNA and medtech. But I also loved my cousin very much, he was disabled and couldn't drive, but still walked several miles to his momma's everyday to help her out, despite his CP and scoliosis. He was such a good man, and when I was a kid, he treated us like adults and wasn't too cool to hang with us and play video games.
thebrightworker 2 points 1y ago
what a wonderful person. i can see why you are fond of him.
probably totally unrelated, but, you know you see these feel good clips on youtube where a bystander rushes in to help. they usually say something like, "i was just there at the right time. anyone would have helped just like i did". well, as we know that's not the case, and so i can definitely see why you respected and loved him so much;
sounds like that you have similar traits though, your career and also the support youre giving your family, ontop of what you feel.
probably totally unrelated, but, you know you see these feel good clips on youtube where a bystander rushes in to help. they usually say something like, "i was just there at the right time. anyone would have helped just like i did". well, as we know that's not the case, and so i can definitely see why you respected and loved him so much;
sounds like that you have similar traits though, your career and also the support youre giving your family, ontop of what you feel.
TwoSunsRise 4 points 1y ago
Yeah that all really sucks. When it rains it pours but it won't keep being that bad. Gotta push through it.
snimminycricket 3 points 1y ago
After a day like this, you don't have to try to be a better you tomorrow. Just get through the day. And the next day. And after a while hopefully you will start to feel like growing again. It's okay to take this time to just be. So sorry for all you're going through.
TrailMomKat [OP] 2 points 1y ago
Thank you. Sitting here right now trying to pretend to be ok for my kids' sake, and I really appreciate your words. *hug*
snimminycricket 2 points 1y ago
*hug*
SiriuslyGranger 3 points 1y ago
I think we should try to push on forward and to be positive as possible, your whole life is in front of you. When is it your day to die? Perhaps be grateful of every moment you got here? This is your moment to be thankful and grateful. When you die it’s a bit too late.
TrailMomKat [OP] 2 points 1y ago
We've buried 15 people since last July, including my father and my six year old nephew. Sorry, 16 now. Forgive me if I have days where I'm just not positive, period.
lightsrage85 1 points 1y ago
Oh no I am so sorry. I know things are tough I am offering prayers hugs and anything else ya need just hit me up on discord lightsrage#4971. Or here. Though here I am slower than a nail.
bradley22 1 points 1y ago
I agree with what you mean but I have a question for you. Have you lost anyone close to you?
I haven’t yet but when I do I know I’ll be able to move on because I don’t feel death is final, but some people do.
I haven’t yet but when I do I know I’ll be able to move on because I don’t feel death is final, but some people do.
thebrightworker 1 points 1y ago
not the person you asked but..
ive lost loved ones, and each time, it felt different.
for context losing a loved one, feels a lot like losing a romantic partner due to a relationship breakdown and being dumped.
ive lost loved ones, and each time, it felt different.
for context losing a loved one, feels a lot like losing a romantic partner due to a relationship breakdown and being dumped.
bradley22 1 points 1y ago
Ok :)
I know I'd be a little sad but would move on fast.
I know I'd be a little sad but would move on fast.
Aggressive-Yoghurt31 1 points 1y ago
What do you mean I don't feel like death is final?
bradley22 2 points 1y ago
Yeah, that was a weird way of putting it.
I mean I don’t believe that the body dying is the be all and end all of life.
I mean I don’t believe that the body dying is the be all and end all of life.
Aggressive-Yoghurt31 1 points 1y ago
Oh my bad I should have gotten that
SiriuslyGranger 0 points 1y ago
Yes. But I believe in Jesus Christ. I also believe death reminds us that life is but short, you have only so many moments to breath say I love you, be thankful and so many moments to praise Jesus.
bradley22 1 points 1y ago
Ok.
KillerLag 3 points 1y ago
That sucks. Hope you are okay, and tomorrow is a better day for you.
Sewn27 2 points 1y ago
I’m so sorry to hear that you have had so much of a burden put on your shoulders. Death is never easy. As I am old, I have experienced many deaths of loved ones. All I can say is that it gets easier each day. Concentrate on remembering the good things.
If you feel that the dose of prednisone is too high, or could be detrimental to your health, I would really encourage you to seek out your general practitioner and speak to them. May I also recommend that you find someone who specializes in your eye disease and see them as soon as possible.
I hope that each day gets easier for you. Do you take care.
If you feel that the dose of prednisone is too high, or could be detrimental to your health, I would really encourage you to seek out your general practitioner and speak to them. May I also recommend that you find someone who specializes in your eye disease and see them as soon as possible.
I hope that each day gets easier for you. Do you take care.
Rhymershouse 1 points 1y ago
I’m so sorry, I know how loss can be. I offer hugs.
CosmicBunny97 1 points 1y ago
I'm sorry to hear that. Don't worry about being your 'better self' for now, just focus on grieving and your family.
astronerdia 1 points 1y ago
I'm so sorry to hear that. I was put on 40mg once for four days and then was tapered off and... well, I wouldn't wish EIGHTY on anyone. I hope you heal and recover.
MostlyBlindGamer 1 points 1y ago
You get to feel how you feel and nobody can tell you not to. We just hope you feel better, soon.
For what it's worth, the therapeutic dose for Prednisone is 1mg)kg, so if you weight 80kg (175lbs) or more, it's not too high. It's not low, but your body is supposed to be able to handle it. I'm not a doctor and you shouldn't believe me even if I said I was.
For what it's worth, the therapeutic dose for Prednisone is 1mg)kg, so if you weight 80kg (175lbs) or more, it's not too high. It's not low, but your body is supposed to be able to handle it. I'm not a doctor and you shouldn't believe me even if I said I was.
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