I understand entirely. My vision forced me out of my job because I couldn't get across town safe on my bike and my town has no public transport at all. My mother doesn't seem to understand the difficulty I have in getting around and is always asking me to pop by real quick to help out. I would love to help her but she thinks I tell her I can't make it because I don't want to be bothered. It hurts that she doesn't get it. What else can we do though?

I kow the feeling, and family are the worst offenders. I have a friend and a cousin who take me shopping and to doctor and so forth. Been blind all of my life, will be 74 in September, it doesn't get any better.

Start making the assumption that these people are offering you a ride when they invite you. They can’t be under the illusion that you can drive yourself, so they must be offering to do it themselves. Right?

This really gets at one of the toughest parts of living with blindness or low vision. It speaks to the frustration of feeling cut off from "normal" society. Everyone is whizzing around in their cars, and no matter how empathetic they may be, it feels like it's hard for them to remember that not everyone can do this. And at least in the US, the whole place aside from a few dense urban areas is set up for a car-centric life. It presents a dilemma in that we don't want to burden others by always needing a ride, but it's also not right that we should have to jump through crazy hoops to get ourselves from place to place.

I hate this too!! I’m not TRYING to be an inconvenience I just can’t drive! I usually end up just not going to stuff that isn’t close because people make it out to be such a burden to drive someone to places. I even offer to help cover gas.

People started out telling me it wasn't a big deal to drive me places, to just let them know if I needed to go anywhere. Didn't take very long till I started hearing groans and sighs when I'd ask. I almost never ask anyone anymore, makes me feel like shit when I get those reactions. So I sit at home and wonder what it must feel like to go anywhere anytime you want. Must be fucking nice.

Not being able to get some place is one of the most frustrating things for me. I'm in a rural place, I was sighted when I built it, and no public transit nearby. Ever since COVID no Lyft or Uber. No taxi. Para transit is a joke. No sidewalks, so walking is out of the question.
At least my wife will drive me to and from work and take me someplace if I want to go. I bought her a new car and pay all the bills so that may be more incentive.
I would ask as soon as you get an invite if they can pick you up or if someone else that is invited and might be in your area can do it.
Maybe have someone you know, plan ahead, every other Saturday or whatever, so there is a schedule, to go out to stores, etcetera.. Tell them, you fly (drive), I'll buy, and buy then lunch or dinner.
Maybe you can find an Uber or Lyft driver that you can make a deal with to pick you up locally. Since do it at a discount. Just a thought. I would like to see a self driving car service just for visually impaired people that just shows up when you need it or schedule it.

I am so glad I don't have this problem, but I live in an area 30 miles from the grocery store, so everyone close to me gets it. They've all had a car break down before and the struggle is real if your car is acting up. On occasion, though, someone new to me will comment on how it shouldn't be hard to come out and I'll reply "sure, I'll drive, I bet it'll make the news!" Luckily, that's worked so far to point out the stupidity of their comments.

Honestly!!! Like it’s my life that is hindered the most by the lack of reliable public transit and safe bike lanes and sidewalks, yet I am the one who is made to feel like crap for not being able to get places or simply being left out of plans because I can’t get there myself.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the worst part about vision loss/being blind isn’t being blind. It’s the isolation that so often comes with it.

It also seriously restricts where you can live. I don't drive, so I can only live in cities with robust public transportation systems, taxis/rideshare, and safe walking/cycling opportunities if I want to be independent. This inevitably means living somewhere with a high cost of living in the US, which then creates a different set of constraints.

Also, I hate asking for lifts. Sometimes, people are ok about it, but other times, you clearly get the resentment reaction. It would be so nice if people who knew you were going to the same place just proactively offered. I'm happy to pay for petrol or whatever, but just take me along!

Seriously could've written this myself. I feel like a burden to my sighted partner and everyone in my family. Some of it's in my head because of depression, and some of it's not. My family invites me to things at the very last minute, sometimes hours before, and they live two hours away. Then they blame me for not magically being able to show up. They assume my partner will just drop everything and take me on demand, like an Uber or something. I'm jealous of everyone who can drive, because they don't realize the freedom they have. I'm also angry at people taking it out on me because I can't.

My lesson : Stop caring about it.

Did you educated them by telling them you can't physically come because of your disabilities ? Great.


Why do you care they are not happy ? You already teached them you can't if they don't accept it and are bothered by it great for them, laugh about there stupidity.

If they are bothering you to the point you need to vent on the internet : why are you still considering them a part of your family ? I mean people who refuse to understand you shoudln't be a part of your life.

I tell this not just for op but all the other people here : ask yourself why you should care about the opinion of someone and if the only answer is because you share blood or you don't have a good reason then just assume they are stupid like a lot of people.

I have family that will give me directions for walking that are very hand wavy. They like to leave out important details i need because they don’t need them. And they wonder why I avoid them.

I have this problem too where I am currently living there's no public transportation and Ubers barely appear oh and there's no taxis services anymore so i been currently unemployed for almost a year makes me mad I wish my family would understand too I hate to have wait on people or beg them to take me to places to do anything

I can agree- i think that whole reason is why i love visiting places with good or at least convinient transport systems (Hong Kong was such a fun trip purely because we never had to wait for someone to drive us for that reason). It's virtually impossible to go without a car where i live if you want to go anywhere with actual people or things to do and if it werent for the fact i cant drive i would definitely have gotten a part time job or gone out with friends a lot more. As it is, im quite stuck at home for the most part wothout someone driving for me.

Im pretty sure most people don't plan to use their school study abroad programs for the main purpose of "i get to spend a whole semester experiencing some form of freedom in going places by myself" yet that's my main reason. Id love to experience going to a store on my own, maybe I'd like shopping more if someone wasn't looking over my shoulder the whole time.

What I have begun doing which may or may not be passive aggressive but I don't care anymore is to ask them to roleplay being blind for just a minute. Completely cover your eyes and just try and walk around your house. Let me know how that goes. Now, just cover one eye and try and screw this lid on this bottle that is across the table. Depth perception is important when driving, right?

Now, imagine driving a vehicle that weighs a ton or more in that condition. I'm not willing to kill someone just to make it to your thing, sorry.

People that aren't in our shoes don't ever even walk one single step like we do. If they aren't willing to try and understand how every aspect of our lives is so much more difficult than theirs then, I don't know what to say.

That's the thing, between cataracts and glaucoma, she's blind enough to not be able to drive either. She already knows, she just doesn't consider it all the time. Lol

I'm sorry that this is something you have to deal with often. If I could play devil's advocate for a second, I think that sighted people have a complete disconnect in how they view blind people. Sighted people have only ever had sight, so it's incredibly difficult for them to wrap their heads around something from a blind person's perspective.

Sometimes it can be challenging for sure. You just have to keep looking for people willing to, hire a driver or take public transport.