Honestly anybody who says something like that to me is getting the middle finger and me saying "Follow this, asshole!" Bottom line is that nobody deserves to be ridiculed in such a way because of something beyond their control. Don't stay quiet, let them know that what they are doing is wrong or else they will never stop.

I have dealt with that as well always from coworkers or friends that aren’t super close. Most of the time I try to laugh it off but I have gotten offended when they are just ignorantly rude. Still the best way I deal with it is bite my tongue and rant to someone who I’m closer with later. A lot of the times people don’t mean to be rude they just don’t know any better and they are awkward in the moment. If it is someone I’m close with I might say something like, “I’m aware you are joking but I don’t find it very funny, it is hard for me to see but I’m still capable in many ways.” Sometimes just being gracious and humble in the situation is the best way to handle it.

I’ve never had the finger following thing happen, because my eyes don’t really ever focus on anything, and at best will look in the direction of sounds I’m hearing without my input.

That said, when it comes to the finger thing, I always just say some impossible number like so:
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“80”
“What? People don’t have that many fingers!”
“You asked what I saw, that’s what I see.”

This was something I did mainly I. Grade school, because I was quite frankly no in the mood to try and explain why that’s mean, and also, my school was notoriously bad at dealing with that kind of thing. It eventually stopped, but I do default back to that when people are clearly being mean rather than curious.

And when people make comments about me not being able to see something I usually just say “duh” or “yeah. I’m blind”

That said, sometimes my friends do legitimately forget the limits of my vision on account of me being a highly visual person. As a result, I tend to just remind them.

That said, these are your friends and family your talking about. It is ok to just sit them down and ask them to stop. I’ve done it before, and have been met with understanding.

Just graduated high school, so I heard just about any blind joke that a teenager could think of.
Disclaimer: I do joke about myself with close friends. I do not however make jokes about blind/visually impaired people as a group. I only joke about my personal experience, as their are genuinely funny moments.
People know I'm an open and sometimes blunt person. I honestly don't mind a few jokes as it helps ease tension. I do typically clarify that even though Im okay with jokes, not everyone with a disability is. However, sometime during my junior year, it got to the point my vision was the only topic of conversation when a classmate spoke to me. The person should always comes before the disability. It escalated to the point some teachers called me "blindie". At that point I knew I had to put my foot down. I do use social media, so I typed something up explaining I am not comfortable with other people using my vision as a punchline. I also clarified this was a boundary I was starting, so I don't hold a gruge towards anyone who has done it in the past. Let me be clear, I said this only because I had encouraged this behavior to a degree and did stop it once I was uncomfortable.
After this, and a few talks to those that didnt have social media, if someone made a joke I wouldn't laugh. Truly if you can make someone else as uncomfortable as their words make you, it will shut down quickly. A simply "that's not funny" does a lot. I also will give a genuine answer for questions that are ridiculous. I.e. "How can you read my text you're too blind?" Me: "screen reader"
If you don't like their jokes don't make them funny. I understand that might sound mean, but you're standing up for yourself.
I'm not sure if this is helpful but it's my experience.

To me it's like sticks and stones, but that's me.
When someone asks you how many fingers, just say this many and shoot them the middle finger.
If it is something else, just reply, I may not see much, but I do know when I see an asshole and it's right here on front of me. It stinks too.

A follow up comment to add, a harmless joke is not harmless if you don't find it funny.

Here's the thing about this. There's a difference in jokes and being a jerk, and when people make comments like that, or ask questions they know you can't answer, that's being a jerk. They're making you, specifically, the punchline of their cruelty and that's not okay. It's different when young children ask how many fingers you're holding up, because they're learning the limits, testing boundaries and exploring something they're not familiar with in their own way. However, when an adult does it? Or even a teenager? Someone who definitely understands that you can't see? That's not funny. Those aren't jokes, those people are asses.

You have two options for handling this if you want it to stop. You could fight fire with fire. For example, "I don't know how many fingers you're holding up, but here's what I'm holding up." And give them the middle finger.

You could also try a kindness approach, if the first one isn't your style. "How many fingers am I holding up?" "You know I'm unable to answer that question, and I don't like when you exploit my disability for your own amusement in this manner."

The second approach will likely get you called sensitive, which is why many of us opt for jokes of our own to take our power back in those situations.

I do not get too much of this, but I certainly understand how you would feel - especially given your age. (I am 67).

I have had friends say "You are lucky you can't see this" when in the home of a friend who is a borderline hoarder. I'm too worried in that situation that I might trip over something, which I will point out.

My twin granddaughters (age8( do the finger following thing, but I know they are only trying to process and understand my world, so that is different.

I have found the best way to handle rude comments/questions of any nature is to pause (people hate silence) and then sayone of the following (depending on the comment):

Wow. I've never heard that before (with calm, veiled sarcasam)

Pardon me? Can you repeat that? (then follow with more silence if they actually repeat it)

Why are you asking? (this must be delivered with calm curiousity - as if the commenter might be the stupidist person on earth)

I’m quite a bit older and after a lifetime of this I either ignore it (from strangers and acquaintances) or encourage it (from good friends who know I will flip them off or threaten to turn off the lights next time they’re walking down a set of stairs). It is okay to ignore these unfunny jokes or say “hey I don’t really appreciate that”. And if you’re up for it, next time someone asks how many fingers they’re holding up, you can always smile and flip them the bird while asking “I dunno. How many am I holding up?”

I enjoy jokes about my blindness...ONLY if I know the person well enough.

I joke about myself all the time. My best friends then joke about it too.

If you are someone I barely know, you do not joke about it. I see it as rude.

Some people ask what the difference is from someone I know very well to someone I barely know. The difference is that the people I know well, I know they are joking, and it is never about "Can you see this!?". It's about things they already know, like how horrible of a driver I was.

The people I don't know well, I can't tell if you are joking or serious.

I live in a nursing home due to having multiple disabilities including being pretty much blind, and the other a staff member who has not worked here very long made a joke along the lines of why do you always ask that like you're blind? And laughing about my not being able to see the food on my lunch plate when I asked him what my meal was . I politely but firmly told him that I really am blind and that I did not appreciate his so-called attempted humor. He promptly stop laughing

Ok, so I have definitely been in a similar situation with "how many fingers am I holding up" or people asking me to guess where they are, or different things. What I learned is you have to just accept it about yourself and be the first to make the jokes. Also one way to answer the question "how many fingers am I holding up" is by flipping the bird at them and saying "how many fingers am I holding up"

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I am very hard to offend here you have to do something or explicitly offend or attack me. But yeah.

To answer your question with grace, humility and humor.

With the finger thing I would either say a riddiculous number and walk away or just say frankly I don’t know. And leave it at that.

If you don’t play along it ceases to be fun for people. Wow she doesn’t know she doesn’t answer me, she’s booooooring. Haha! Okay think that.

I love blind humor though people will say hahaha! See she said the word see. And you just laugh right along. Or I make the drive joke. People automatically ask if I can drive and I say well I can drive you up a wall if that’s what you want! Or I say drive you crazy. Occasionaly drive you to heaven like crash the car and you die a bit more of a morbid joke.

I usually just play along. Unless it’s that bad then I frankly and truthfully say I don’t know. I just don’t play games.