Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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Trenta rant (Please help, any advice helps) (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by sbucksbarista
Summary: I am a green-ish bean who struggles a lot with mental health and this one coworker has been making it worse with some of her actions and I don’t know what to do. I get so much anxiety just from being in the same room as her.
I started working for Starbucks about 3 months ago. I love the job, my managers, and the customers. I love most of my coworkers as well, except for one.
I have severe anxiety, PTSD, and a personality disorder that makes it very difficult for me to think I am doing things right and I live in a constant fear of messing up. When I make mistakes I immediately want to run away from everything and never do anything associated with it again, and in my eyes, everyone always hates me and I am never good enough at anything. When people pick at me or pick at my little mistakes, it gets worse because if I don’t fix it I HAVE to leave and never think about it again. I have quit jobs due to believing managers were picking me out and trying to get me fired/to quit, avoided ever making friends and relationships, and turned to an alternate form of schooling after bullying in a similar manner to this.
I have done really well working at Starbucks and learned everything super quickly, to the point where half of my coworkers thought I was a transfer, not a green bean, and borrowed partners thought I had been working for the company for years. One coworker of mine started shortly after I did, but did not learn as quickly (a bit more on the slow side than usual).
That coworker tries to turn everything in a competition with me and I hate it, because it ends up with her nit-picking everything I do, from how much cream I put in someone’s iced coffee to why I’m wearing short sleeves for a day when I usually wear long, and now that it’s getting colder out I should be wearing long more. For me, that means I need to make HUGE adjustments, meaning I now add way more cream than I did before to iced coffees and don’t wear short sleeved shirts at all anymore (even on hot days). Whenever I get put on bar, she always makes a snarky comment like “Why does SHE get to go on bar again? Why can’t I go on bar and why can’t SHE go on register?” She will also get in my way and literally take drinks out of my hands to try and make them herself when she has a line out the door to get through.
She also always has to be right. For example, one day a customer asked for hot coffee and she thought he said he wanted our dark roast. We didn’t have dark roast left so he paid for a drink for his kid and as he walked away saw we still had pike. He said “Oh, I thought your said you have no more hot coffee but there’s some right there” in a polite way, and she said, “No, you said you wanted BOLD ROAST, we don’t have bold.” He asked for just that plain cup of coffee and she kept going at him, to the point where my SSV just interrupted and asked what size he wanted to get it for him (with no charge after this, of course). He gave his size and tried to move on and she KEPT GOING at him. I felt so bad.
But that turns into a lot of debates between us. She’ll put caramel syrup in a caramel macchiato and if I correct her (politely as always, because I literally cannot be on bad terms or act in a way that would make someone potentially dislike me because of my mental illness) she will yell at me and argue with me for ages until someone steps in and asks her to stop. It really gets to me because I’m not the best when it comes to people yelling either.
She also just treats me very different from other coworkers. At my store, if someone orders a drink and lunch on break we bring it in back for them just to be nice. To me, she will purposely not give me a straw when she does for others as “payback for stealing bar from her” and today, gave me my sandwich on the warming paper because she “didn’t feel like putting it in a bag or getting a plate” and one of my other coworkers felt bad and brought me a plate herself.
I really do not like being treated like this and it has really been getting to me mentally. I feel like I’m just overreacting and being too sensitive, which really sucks because I love this job and I feel like I am good at it when I hardly ever feel good at anything. I can usually deal with customers treating me bad and yelling at me because it only lasts a few minutes, but this tormenting has been going on for MONTHS. I constantly feel like she is trying to put me down and she nit picks everything I do, and I know it sounds so dumb but it is absolutely torturous to me.
I’m really stuck and I could use all the advice I can get. At an old job I had a coworker who acted like this to me and had to rearrange my hours altogether just so I wouldn’t work shifts with her and I am not sure I can do that here or talk to my manager about it. Am I too sensitive to be working here? Should I try to find another job? My brain is telling me to move out of state and transfer but I know that’s not an option and that there will always be another coworker like this.
I’m so sorry this was so long, and if you read any of this at all, thank you. I would appreciate any advice at all because I really, really need help on this issue; I can’t let myself be scared to work a shift with her ever again and stop me from going into work because of her. Please help.
I started working for Starbucks about 3 months ago. I love the job, my managers, and the customers. I love most of my coworkers as well, except for one.
I have severe anxiety, PTSD, and a personality disorder that makes it very difficult for me to think I am doing things right and I live in a constant fear of messing up. When I make mistakes I immediately want to run away from everything and never do anything associated with it again, and in my eyes, everyone always hates me and I am never good enough at anything. When people pick at me or pick at my little mistakes, it gets worse because if I don’t fix it I HAVE to leave and never think about it again. I have quit jobs due to believing managers were picking me out and trying to get me fired/to quit, avoided ever making friends and relationships, and turned to an alternate form of schooling after bullying in a similar manner to this.
I have done really well working at Starbucks and learned everything super quickly, to the point where half of my coworkers thought I was a transfer, not a green bean, and borrowed partners thought I had been working for the company for years. One coworker of mine started shortly after I did, but did not learn as quickly (a bit more on the slow side than usual).
That coworker tries to turn everything in a competition with me and I hate it, because it ends up with her nit-picking everything I do, from how much cream I put in someone’s iced coffee to why I’m wearing short sleeves for a day when I usually wear long, and now that it’s getting colder out I should be wearing long more. For me, that means I need to make HUGE adjustments, meaning I now add way more cream than I did before to iced coffees and don’t wear short sleeved shirts at all anymore (even on hot days). Whenever I get put on bar, she always makes a snarky comment like “Why does SHE get to go on bar again? Why can’t I go on bar and why can’t SHE go on register?” She will also get in my way and literally take drinks out of my hands to try and make them herself when she has a line out the door to get through.
She also always has to be right. For example, one day a customer asked for hot coffee and she thought he said he wanted our dark roast. We didn’t have dark roast left so he paid for a drink for his kid and as he walked away saw we still had pike. He said “Oh, I thought your said you have no more hot coffee but there’s some right there” in a polite way, and she said, “No, you said you wanted BOLD ROAST, we don’t have bold.” He asked for just that plain cup of coffee and she kept going at him, to the point where my SSV just interrupted and asked what size he wanted to get it for him (with no charge after this, of course). He gave his size and tried to move on and she KEPT GOING at him. I felt so bad.
But that turns into a lot of debates between us. She’ll put caramel syrup in a caramel macchiato and if I correct her (politely as always, because I literally cannot be on bad terms or act in a way that would make someone potentially dislike me because of my mental illness) she will yell at me and argue with me for ages until someone steps in and asks her to stop. It really gets to me because I’m not the best when it comes to people yelling either.
She also just treats me very different from other coworkers. At my store, if someone orders a drink and lunch on break we bring it in back for them just to be nice. To me, she will purposely not give me a straw when she does for others as “payback for stealing bar from her” and today, gave me my sandwich on the warming paper because she “didn’t feel like putting it in a bag or getting a plate” and one of my other coworkers felt bad and brought me a plate herself.
I really do not like being treated like this and it has really been getting to me mentally. I feel like I’m just overreacting and being too sensitive, which really sucks because I love this job and I feel like I am good at it when I hardly ever feel good at anything. I can usually deal with customers treating me bad and yelling at me because it only lasts a few minutes, but this tormenting has been going on for MONTHS. I constantly feel like she is trying to put me down and she nit picks everything I do, and I know it sounds so dumb but it is absolutely torturous to me.
I’m really stuck and I could use all the advice I can get. At an old job I had a coworker who acted like this to me and had to rearrange my hours altogether just so I wouldn’t work shifts with her and I am not sure I can do that here or talk to my manager about it. Am I too sensitive to be working here? Should I try to find another job? My brain is telling me to move out of state and transfer but I know that’s not an option and that there will always be another coworker like this.
I’m so sorry this was so long, and if you read any of this at all, thank you. I would appreciate any advice at all because I really, really need help on this issue; I can’t let myself be scared to work a shift with her ever again and stop me from going into work because of her. Please help.
jemappellepatty 12 points 3y ago
I think, at Starbucks, you'll always have that coworker who will be jealous of you or want the position you are working that day (you're on bar, they're on register; you're on register, they're on bar; and it's never fair in their eyes). I was there for 10 years and always had a coworker I *dreaded* working with because no matter where I was, they would try to overtake me. I'd offer to switch, and they would then do the same thing once we'd switch positions. It's something you'll unfortunately have to decide if you can deal with or not during those hours/days you work with that person. But it shouldn't be this bad.
I also believe your brain is exaggerating these encounters. I'm not downplaying what is happening because in regards to your mental health, it truly sucks and it is incredibly difficult to handle. Try to pull away from what your brain is exaggerating and bring out the facts of what this person is doing (what I mean is: your brain is saying my world is ending and I should flee, the reality is this coworker is doing xyz and it is making work really hard). You need a job (I'm guessing, since most of us do), you found one you rock at and love despite this coworker.
Let's get through this one horrible person. Why do you feel like you can't go to your manager? Do you feel like you're being whiny? This person is creating a hostile work environment. You are not being the bad person by bringing this up. Are you non-confrontational (this is my problem--I don't want to have to sit down and work it out with my "attacker" because I'll shut down and just agree to whatever)? Come up with a solution to bring to your manager instead of a problem to begin with: "This coworker is doing these things when we work together and it is making shifts together incredibly difficult. Can we be scheduled opposite shifts, if possible, or as few hours overlapping as possible?"
You are allowed to be sensitive, you are allowed to react to this. If you still don't feel like you can talk to someone in your store, call partner resources or even ethics. This coworker is harassing you.
I also believe your brain is exaggerating these encounters. I'm not downplaying what is happening because in regards to your mental health, it truly sucks and it is incredibly difficult to handle. Try to pull away from what your brain is exaggerating and bring out the facts of what this person is doing (what I mean is: your brain is saying my world is ending and I should flee, the reality is this coworker is doing xyz and it is making work really hard). You need a job (I'm guessing, since most of us do), you found one you rock at and love despite this coworker.
Let's get through this one horrible person. Why do you feel like you can't go to your manager? Do you feel like you're being whiny? This person is creating a hostile work environment. You are not being the bad person by bringing this up. Are you non-confrontational (this is my problem--I don't want to have to sit down and work it out with my "attacker" because I'll shut down and just agree to whatever)? Come up with a solution to bring to your manager instead of a problem to begin with: "This coworker is doing these things when we work together and it is making shifts together incredibly difficult. Can we be scheduled opposite shifts, if possible, or as few hours overlapping as possible?"
You are allowed to be sensitive, you are allowed to react to this. If you still don't feel like you can talk to someone in your store, call partner resources or even ethics. This coworker is harassing you.
sbucksbarista [OP] 3 points 3y ago
Thank you for your help, I really needed this.
I know my store manager would listen to me if I went to him, he is the best manager I have ever had out of the 6 jobs I have ever worked and he’s super respectful. I think I am just really scared of getting hit with a “this job is not for you,” or word getting to my other coworkers and then having this bad image of being the girl who reported someone else over just being too sensitive. I would love to patch things up with her and calm down the situation my mind has turned this into, but I am scared if I say anything to her directly, she will tell me I’m wrong and make it even worse to work here for me.
Again, I appreciate the help. I agree that my mind is probably exaggerating, but the situation is still hurting me and it is probably still not okay for her to be treating me like this.
I know my store manager would listen to me if I went to him, he is the best manager I have ever had out of the 6 jobs I have ever worked and he’s super respectful. I think I am just really scared of getting hit with a “this job is not for you,” or word getting to my other coworkers and then having this bad image of being the girl who reported someone else over just being too sensitive. I would love to patch things up with her and calm down the situation my mind has turned this into, but I am scared if I say anything to her directly, she will tell me I’m wrong and make it even worse to work here for me.
Again, I appreciate the help. I agree that my mind is probably exaggerating, but the situation is still hurting me and it is probably still not okay for her to be treating me like this.
jemappellepatty 4 points 3y ago
I think you need a mediator. From what you've described, if you try to be your own peacemaker, you'll be the bad guy (from my own experience with these type of people, maybe I'm wrong in this situation). I highly doubt the manager would say this isn't the job for you if you are good at the job just because of this conflict. No one I know who has ever gone to a manager over conflicts between coworkers has been labelled as "that person" even if they were genuinely being a (I mean I hate to use this phrase but it gets the point across) huge baby about whatever it was. And I've worked with some immature people.
The best thing that could happen, like you said, is that things get better between you two! But you do need to take care of you. If you love this job and the customers, that is amazing for someone with the mental health you described! In my current job, when my mental health dips, some days I can't even get out of bed and to my desk and I never had that problem with Starbucks, so I feel ya there. Who feels that way about a customer service job? Haha.
And don't downplay this because I used the phrase "your brain is exaggerating...". I'm serious when I say what you are describing is a hostile work environment. Take care of yourself! Starbucks prides itself on baristas like you, even today.
The best thing that could happen, like you said, is that things get better between you two! But you do need to take care of you. If you love this job and the customers, that is amazing for someone with the mental health you described! In my current job, when my mental health dips, some days I can't even get out of bed and to my desk and I never had that problem with Starbucks, so I feel ya there. Who feels that way about a customer service job? Haha.
And don't downplay this because I used the phrase "your brain is exaggerating...". I'm serious when I say what you are describing is a hostile work environment. Take care of yourself! Starbucks prides itself on baristas like you, even today.
sbucksbarista [OP] 3 points 3y ago
Thank you so so sooo much for your help!!! I think I will try to talk to my manager and hope things start to go better :)
RoaringDragonite 2 points 3y ago
Before you go to your store manager it might help to be a little less confrontational, not saying you're confrontational at all. I think I used the wrong word. Maybe just try to avoid any interaction with her at all. Don't correct her drinks, and whenever she takes cups out of your hands you can say. Hey please don't do that, it's just a pet peeve of mine.
I take criticism pretty harshly too and it sounds like your coworker gets easily prickled. It sounds like she's pretty insecure too and she's probably noticed that she hasn't caught on as fast as you. Everyone has their little pet peeves about this job, and personally it's easier for me to take criticism if people frame it as their pet peeve. I know when I'm support and bar gets really busy there are some people on bar who like when I get on and help, and others who don't. And then there are some who want me on bar and we do the drinks in the order they come out in, or they want me to take over the mobile orders, or they want to just have someone handle cold bar drinks so their hot bar routine isn't interrupted.
As far as the relationship between you and her, I wouldn't bother trying to "fix" it. Just make it so that you're not in each others' way. If a customer complains about a drink she made, you both know she's the one who made it and so does the customer, your supervisor will get the truth. It's always hard to say when we only get your perspective and not hers, but going by her interactions with other people too, you're not alone in this. Trust your feelings because they matter! I hope this works out. Good luck!
I take criticism pretty harshly too and it sounds like your coworker gets easily prickled. It sounds like she's pretty insecure too and she's probably noticed that she hasn't caught on as fast as you. Everyone has their little pet peeves about this job, and personally it's easier for me to take criticism if people frame it as their pet peeve. I know when I'm support and bar gets really busy there are some people on bar who like when I get on and help, and others who don't. And then there are some who want me on bar and we do the drinks in the order they come out in, or they want me to take over the mobile orders, or they want to just have someone handle cold bar drinks so their hot bar routine isn't interrupted.
As far as the relationship between you and her, I wouldn't bother trying to "fix" it. Just make it so that you're not in each others' way. If a customer complains about a drink she made, you both know she's the one who made it and so does the customer, your supervisor will get the truth. It's always hard to say when we only get your perspective and not hers, but going by her interactions with other people too, you're not alone in this. Trust your feelings because they matter! I hope this works out. Good luck!
hlysmkstsbnnywrm 2 points 3y ago
I don’t have a lot to offer for this post but wow the way you described yourself and your situation sounds exactly like something I’m going through
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