Former barista here. The most powerful tool you have in these situations is deciding to forgive the people who wrong you, and move past them. Getting angry after the fact won't help. They already left and can't hear you calling them out on their bullshit. Trying to justify your own actions won't help. Laugh at the absurdity if you wish, but arguing with absurdity is a recipe for madness.

Choosing not to resent others has an added bonus too. When you are gracious with people who upset you it gives you the right to be gracious with yourself when you disappoint yourself. One day you will mess up badly (maybe not a Starbucks because nothing that happens in that store is ever very serious), and when you do you will need to be practiced in accepting failure and giving the opportunity to do better next time.

It sounds corny but this has honestly been the biggest help to me is something my dad always told me: you can’t control how other people act. The only think you can control is yourself. Customers are entitled and pissy a lot of the time but try and take a step back and decide if getting upset over their attitude is really worth it. I just try and remind myself that it’s only coffee and if they’re screaming at me over something they KNOW I cannot control, that says more about their character than it does about me or anything I am capable of. I totally get where you’re coming from with being talked down to - people think just because you’re in the service industry working essentially for minimum wage, you must be stupid/incompetent/etc. Laugh at the Karens getting their “keto” drinks (ITS NOT BLOODY KETO YOU MORON SF VANILLA IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU) and as much as you can enjoy your coworkers and the few and far between customers who are kind.

I worked for Sbux for years. When I first started this was SO difficult. I wanted to do the very best I could. I found myself crying one day and my shift manager said “you need to stop caring so much. It’s just coffee”. I know this sounds counterproductive. Obviously stick to your job duties. However, recognizing that people are getting so upset over their coffee is silly. Yes. Some people can be absolutely vicious. However, realize that it’s not you accidentally using nonfat instead of 1% milk that completely ruins their day. A lot of times people take things out on baristas because they have nobody else to take things out on. If people get frustrated for you taking so long say “I’m new and I just want to make 100% sure that I get your drink exactly how you like it so I can get you in and out”. Learn the peoples orders, names, and exactly how they like their drink so just in case the drink was ordered wrong you can double check to see if they want a different order or if it was accidentally marked wrong. The longer you work there, the more tricks you learn. We all used to joke that eventually you just become dead inside and numb to the customers craziness. Just don’t internalize their poor behavior. Accidents happen and we ALL make them while at work. You are not your accidents and your worth is not based on customers ideas of you. I hope this helps ❤️

Try to not take the job super seriously. I did that with my first job for years! The service industry has a way of making you feel responsible for how the entire place runs. They make you feel that you need to be 100% loyal to them. Taking on these emotions can lead to you dreading everyday you have to go in like there isn’t a way out. Personally it lead to me having crazy bad anxiety attacks daily and very bad health. So there’s a few things you can do right away. If a situation gets bad, you can turn off a mental light switch. You can’t change a bad interaction or mistake. But you can change how you handle it after. Try to see it as a way to let that emotion go. Like resetting your phone. Another way is to have simple things to look forward to. That can be getting to see someone special, buying yourself something, or even eating something really good when you had a long day because you deserve it. Just the thought of something better coming up will help a lot. And always keep in mind that the job isn’t the most important part of your life. Yes we all do need an income to survive. But huge companies like these can easily replace us even after years of working for them. Yes take pride in your work no matter what. But always keep in mind you don’t owe your employer anything (health, sanity, your own happiness) but doing your job when you’re scheduled to work. Sorry for the long rant but I wished someone told me this when I was 18 before I had my first anxiety attack mad before I took a management position I was not ready for. And one final tip is to think of something funny to break the tension you’re feeling when something bad happens. I do this while taking group photos too. :)

Give them decaf 🤷🏻‍♀️

>When I had just joined multiple regulars told me they wanted to be served by someone else because I was new and wasting their time.

This totally happened to me with a couple customers when I was new. Unfortunately, there's little in your power to do to control when this happens, of course. But I will say it's also up to your shift and your fellow partners to stick up for you when this happens. If they're not, then that's not right. Emphatically, no one has the right to treat you like shit, and it's up to your team to back you up on that. Would you feel comfortable talking to anyone - especially ASM or SM - about this?


Some of the other stuff you learn to let go of over time, or at least I have. Is this your first customer service job?


What do your team members seem to do to cope with what you've mentioned? Personally, I find venting with coworkers about particularly ridiculous people to be somewhat therapeutic. We'll all giggle together about how someone repeated their order 3x for emphasis, or cringe together about that guy who wants 80% strawberry acai base and 20% black tea (but orders it as a black tea,) or roll our eyes together about how Karen with her van of small children is gonna backlog our blender for 10 minutes.


I will say in a couple cases I have managed to make a breakthrough with a difficult customer and establish good rapport with them. Paradoxically, I'd say the more you can really get to know someone personally, the more likely they'll be to be gentler/less unpleasant with you.

Kill em with kindness when you have the energy, otherwise, as much as you can don't get too invested in it all, the more you care about what the idiots have to say the more it's going to effect your mood, don't let them have that control over you!

I'm with you here. I don't know how to deal with it. I've worked multiple other food service jobs and never have I had such rude customers yell at me before. Before my store closed, I had someone call me a braindead lowlife idiot because we were out of dark roast. It's killed my self confidence

Honestly, after around 3 years, I had to quit coffee for this. I think the kind baristas that work hard only to get belittled deserve better. If it doesn’t bother them, great, but I needed enough dignity at the end of my shift to be happy and Starbucks didn’t cut it. Peets was a little easier with this, but not by much. I found the clothing stores or electronic stores are a little easier, surprisingly, because the customers aren’t using their lack of coffee as an excuse to be an asshole. Hope you figure it out. ❤️

One thing to remember, I don't know how long you been working, but right now the customer behavior is probably the worst it has ever been. So the kind of customers are seeing right now, are not what it was usually like. I think when people start to calm down and things get better, the people will get nicer again. Or, more likely, the nice people will come back out of isolation and simply outnumber the nasty people.

What helps me for dealing with people who are just nasty, I don't take it personally. I recognize if people are being mean, there's usually something going on inside of them. I tend to kind of step outside the situation and wonder what is going on in their heads, that is making them act like this. Weird and unusual people tend to have the most interesting stories. If that fails, I have some people that I can vent to safely and privately.

Once I can get past my initial indignation, and step outside the situation, usually looking at these people from an outside perspective, their behavior is so dumb that I have to laugh at it. I mean, what kind of stupid do you have to be, to belittle the person who is making your food? Don't they know what kind of power this person has LOL maybe their spinach feta wrap will turn out to be frozen in the middle! I'm not saying that has happened.. but it could happen… To me that's just a pretty high level of foolishness to bite the hand that feeds you.

i’d always be ridiculously nice to rude ass people. it might not make them realize but a very subtle guilt trip usually suffices.

as my old shift used to say “it’s just coffee”

A lot of people say things like “kill them with kindness” but honestly that still makes me feel like a punching bag. Me personally i dont put up with those people. if they want to be rude, i wont act all nice and treat them great. People need to learn that the way they treat people does affect us and we arent just going to always play nice for them. Im not saying im a total dick to them, just that i keep it real with them and if they are rude or yelling at me or my partners i will tell them off and that they wont speak to us like that.

This probably makes me sound like an asshole but most times i usually get customers who are amazing and nice, i always try to initiate the nice conversations first, just whenever someone is being completely rude thats when i wont tolerate it. I think everyone in this job should understand their worth and not let people talk down to them and treat them terribly just because of customer service. You are a person who deserves respect and if they dont give it to you, they can not come back, at least thats how i see it

It sounds silly but try your best to just make the moment right and be kind. I always try to remember that I have no idea what’s going on in someone’s life. Maybe they’re grieving or their dog has been acting weird and they’re worried about them. It could be anything. But also, maybe they’re just rude, entitled jokes.
Personally if someone pushes me past a point I’ll start being short with them. I’ll remake their drink and say “have a nice day” and that’s it. I’m not connecting with you if you’re going to be a jerk.

Remain polite as ice during the situation. Come here and vent or ask for advice afterwards. You can always handle it better, no matter how much you learn there is always better, so don't get too down on yourself if you handle it one way and then think immediately about how you should have done it five minute later. That's gonna happen. Also remember that no matter what industry you work in there will be customer interactions, and every customer has the potential to be stupid as shit. Even I have had moments as a customer where I have realized I was stupid as shit after I was done. This keeps me humble in the moments where I have to deal with stupid customers, and I try to keep it in mind so I don't say something I'll regret later.


The real secret here is realizing how much of this stupid entitled attitude some customers have is entirely the fault of big corporations. Before there were corporations, any and every boss out there had to deal directly with customers at some point in the process of building a business. They had direct experience with stuff people will come up with. Then corporations happened, along with the perversion of the "customer is always right" credo. So we had managers who had never worked directly with customers hearing from board members that customers must be satisfied at any cost. I know there have been businesses that have gone bankrupt from allowing the bad customers to drain them of money, because they are unwilling to listen to employees tell them how stupid that is. So when you are dealing with customers demanding stuff they shouldn't be demanding, and giving you attitude with it, just remember it isn't about you. It is about how they have been taught by corporations to do this. It isn't you, and it doesn't cost you a dang thing to deal with them exactly how corporate is telling you to. So toe the corporate placed line, maintain your polite face, show as much sympathy as the customer deserves, and tell us all the best stories.

Welcome to the world of customer service. These people have nothing to do with your life- the hardest life lesson I've learned is to just smile and apologize and give lots of "I hope the rest of your day is good" or " i hope your day let's a little better, I'm sorry for the inconvenience " and to walk away and breathe. These people DO. NOT. MATTER. yes they are our customers, yes they essentially pay our Bill's but they do not control your every whim. Its 100% ok to go into the freezer/the restroom/the back and have a good cry at the end of it if you need to- but be aware once you walk out of those doors at the end of your shift YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN. the best part about your regulars is that the sweeter and nicer you are- they will crack eventually and begin to return your kindness. Just make it a routine. Screaming good morning and have a great day in the happiest voice you can muster will get you through a lot. Customer service isn't easy. It's a shit show. But we can make it better by just being us and cracking jokes and making sure WE and YOU have the best darn day you can! (I so not work for Starbucks but have been working in customer service for far too long )

this is my first job too, and i used to get so worked up when customers talked shit or were rude, but now i just don’t care. They’re the ones wasting their time and energy being rude to a minimum wage employee, you shouldn’t let it get to you. i just laugh at them or have an “oh yeah?” attitude towards them. they hate that shit and they can’t really do anything since you’re not being disrespectful

I’d suggest therapy. Also, if you’re find a pattern with specific customers who are abusive- there’s an app for that in the iPad. Fill out the incident report. We have a lot of regulars who’s orders are a bit more complicated. Some of them have been through the ringer with previous garbage employees and once they find someone who does it right- they just rather never risk a mix up again. As for wait times in DT, there’s nothing that can be done right now about that. Simply apologize and give out them recovery cards. Starbucks wants us to use them. Tell them you’ll see them tomorrow. If it’s taking you longer than it would a seasoned partner to do something, just ask for their patience that you’re still new. You needed ask more than that- once most sane people hear you’re new they usually take pity. There’s always going to be jerks out there. Let those ones go- if it’s the same ones constantly doing it, call the partner hotline, explain, your SM and DM will get a transcript of the call, make an attempt to contact your SM and DM (The partner line will likely suggest you do it too) then ask your DM how to have them barred from further abuse. It’s likely after your explanation and other partners they may have enough to have a conversation with them. After that, should it continue, they can be banned. Starbucks has a policy for abusing the third place. Arm yourself with the knowledge that is within the Hub. It’s a fantastic resource. If you can’t find what you’re looking for call the partner resource center. They can help you find what you’re looking for and get you moving in the right direction. I’ve found way too few partners realize the true power at their finger tips with the hub. Once you’re empowered, once you’re confident, almost nothing can bother you. Look into the mental health apps available to you to help with stress reduction. I’m sorry your partners haven’t been helping you get the information you need to feel in control of the situation. I always try to make sure partners I train know we have resources available to us regardless of the situation. Good luck!

Former barista who has also worked plenty of other customer service oriented jobs. It sucks when you get stuck in that pit of resentment towards customers because one bad interaction with a rude customer can honestly reverberate throughout the rest of the day and taint all of your other interactions. It’s like a chain reaction that goes far beyond yourself. Person A is rude to you so you are rude to person B who goes on to be rude to person C, and so on and so on. The best way I’ve found to deal with the negative feelings that come from being belittled and bullied in a customer service job is to take a stance of “the buck stops with me.” As others have said, you can’t control how others treat you, only your reaction. But I find that that alone wasn’t always enough for me, because I would wonder “Why should I work so hard to keep from letting it affect me? What’s the point?” The reason that has worked well for me is that by not letting it affect my interactions with others, I have the power to stop the negative chain reaction that probably originated long before the customer that was rude to me. Think about how powerful that is. You have the opportunity to be proactive and put good into the world by remaining kind rather than being reactive and letting yourself be just a link in the chain for mean-spiritedness to spread. I know none of this is concrete and it requires a certain mindset that in itself requires work, but it has honestly been what has helped me the most to not be bitter towards customers and humans in general.

S: Starbucks Notification: Partner Mental Health Benefit for all US Partners
Hi partners, a new mental health resource called Lyra is now available to you. With Lyra, you and your eligible family members each get 20 free confidential mental health therapy or coaching sessions each year - in-person or by video. Go to www.lyrahealth.com/starbucks to set up an account today and get started.

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and together we can help make sure every partner has access to high-quality mental health care, whenever they need it. For more information about Lyra, go to www.sbux.co/lyra.

As the COVID-19 situation evolves, please continue to read our regular updates on the HUB, which you can find at www.sbux.co/partner

It gets easier over time because eventually you’ll get better at your job and that’ll give you the confidence to really feel it when they’re just being dicks as opposed to when you messed up and they’re not even being rude about it. Like intellectually I might know someone is being a dick but that can still get to you if you lack that confidence in yourself. For now just remind yourself that you’re in the right and you did it correctly and it’s not your fault and no matter how mad they get your job isn’t on the line because everyone knows customers just get mad sometimes. It’s not gonna make everything okay immediately but it’ll help you start building your self-confidence.

But my lack of control over the situation is only rivaled by their lack of control over the situation. They’re unable to achieve whatever they want in life right now, whether it’s actually Starbucks related or not and they’re mad about it. They’re literally just angry about being impotent, which means they’re mad they aren’t shit. If I get annoyed over the situation because I can’t tell them off I’m in the same boat. I can go through the motions completely aloof, keep my job and my self esteem and not actually have to give a shit about their temper tantrum. But their response is never a response to me or something I did. It’s directed at me. They’re always responding to themselves though.

Of course that only works when it’s not a valid complaint raise with a reasonable tone. I can admit my mistakes and help people out more earnestly too.

im really sorry that people are treating u this way :(( i’ve had really bad people in the past and the only way you can really get past it is by sticking it out and giving the people that are nice to you some extra love. while i don’t think any of us know why some people are so rude, it just happens and it sucks. i’ve got a couple of regulars that make the bad days worth it sometimes. and it’s okay to rant to your coworkers about all this, they understand

Remember that you’re there to provide a Starbucks experience. That’s it. That’s what you’re paid off of and you’re ticket out of here. Concentrate your thoughts on providing the best experience, have you’re presence acknowledged, leave a mark, and you can move past that position, or at least gain leverage. Rude customers are a basically guaranteed for everybody, and everywhere you go, so create a routine to help you control that aspect of your job better. Kill customers with kindness.
Oh and give them 2 napkins instead of 3 to remind them they’re at your mercy!