Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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FTM baristas (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by GreatWizardH0wl
You ever think an interaction is going well, then they hit you with that "alright, ladies".....press f
(This has been stuck in my head all day)
(This has been stuck in my head all day)
schweffy315 12 points 3y ago
F.
Partner for almost 9 years, started T around year 3...people still ma’am me at least once a day like at this point I just laugh at them because they look like the idiot calling a man with a beard ma’am. I feel that, sending all the support!!
Partner for almost 9 years, started T around year 3...people still ma’am me at least once a day like at this point I just laugh at them because they look like the idiot calling a man with a beard ma’am. I feel that, sending all the support!!
StarbuckianDee 6 points 3y ago
Same for us mtf partners, the ‘thank you sir’ is just disgusting and sadly, now numb to it. Some people do it on purpose btw, so fuck them and ignore it. You’d be surprised at the amount of hatred towards transpeople from everyone including the gay community. I see it this way, me ignoring it is just a way of me saying I won’t change my mind just because they believe that they ‘corrected’ me. If my voice type is going to define how I’m seen, then I feel bad for those women with the same voice type most likely getting misgendered as well.
SkylerSayys 5 points 3y ago
I am so n u m b to it by now it sucks
GreatWizardH0wl [OP] 1 points 3y ago
I wish I was numb, catch me crying at 8am in the backroom :(
SkylerSayys 2 points 3y ago
I mean I'm only numb after I enter the store. Once I leave the store it all goes to hell. But I get through every shift
neon-lakes 4 points 3y ago
Im mtf and i get sir'd in the drive thru all day
StarbuckianDee 2 points 3y ago
I feel the pain, I don’t miss working drive thru for that reason!
claypsos 3 points 3y ago
I feel u 😔 my store was really bad about it for a while but they've now upgraded to "ladies... and gentleman" hope ur team comes around bruv
queermosauras_rex 2 points 3y ago
My store has a few trans folks, myself included! I have a full beard and somehow I REGULARLY get ma’am-Ed. People always says it’s because of my eyes (queue eye roll). Another barista wears a full face of make up, looks like a god damn model, is so hyper femme it’s insane, and has an extremely gendered name that is written on her damn name tag. She gets called sir every day. We commiserate about it frequently.
StarbuckianDee 1 points 3y ago
Smh that’s what I mean, they do it on purpose. Bitches and bastards.... they think they are so sly. To me they are nothing but rich people with either money or trust funds, they think they can fix us by pulling that shit where we can’t openly defend ourselves against it.
sunflowertoad 1 points 3y ago
my store was good about it, i was gone for a bit, came back, and we’re back to she/her/ma’am/girl... definitely know the feel. try to bring it up with your sm or a shift you’re comfy with, if you have one. it’s hard, but bringing it up and correcting people is the only way they’ll get it.
StarbuckianDee 1 points 3y ago
I have to admit to something and I say it with the worst heartache there is as another trans partner. We had a really kind guy who wasn’t yet on any medical treatment and I remember how excited I was to have another trans partner on my team. Needless to say, I ANOTHER trans partner misgendered him a few times. I felt horrible about it and I apologized profoundly because I know what its like to go through with it. The same happened to me years ago at another store when I was first transitioning and a ftm peer would also misgender me and he would also feel terrible about it. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all make such stupid mistakes based more on what we hear or see, than who the person themselves really are. I hated that bumpy road and I hope one day all of you will be able to experience less and less of it as I have. The ‘sir’ now is extremely a rare occurrence, if it even happens at all. One day, I promise, one day.... :)
sunflowertoad 1 points 3y ago
thank you!!! i’m looking forward to that one day and i know my store is....... trying to support me on my way there :)
officialsmolkid 1 points 3y ago
OH YEAH 😫
sadbrockboy 0 points 3y ago
idk how it is store to store but someone got fired at my ild store for consistently misgendering a partner so it might not hurt to go to the SM or DM abt it if it gets to that point
sadbrockboy 1 points 3y ago
(allegedly because i only heard abt it after i had left)
GreatWizardH0wl [OP] 1 points 3y ago
So i have had to talk to my SM about being misgendered maliciously by staff and two people have been terminated for it from my store which....sucks all around honestly. When I wrote this I was initially thinking of all the 20+ regular CUSTOMERS I have who call me a lady even though I have three pronoun pins, myself and my staff corrects them, and they see me EVERYDAY.
(Edited to clarify)
(Edited to clarify)
sadbrockboy 1 points 3y ago
im sorry that rly sucks:( i never know what to say to customers abt it when i get misgendered:(
GreatWizardH0wl [OP] 1 points 3y ago
I usually go for "I use he him pronouns" and maintain eye contact. No 'sorry' or 'by the way' just as quickly as I can in the convo 'i use he him pronouns'. I absolutely loved my coworker for correcting a regular we had, who I see roughly 3x a day. He had made a comment about me remembering orders and said 'she has a good memory' and my coworker put a hand on the counter, smiled sweeter than honey and said 'yeah HES really good at that, our MAN keets' like ....yes pls validate me
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