Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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tl;dr: how to diffuse tense situations but also stand up and denounce hatred while working at sbux? (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by [deleted]
haha simple question right?
Like all other people not in a coma, I have been discussing the protests at work with my friends. Today, though, one partner (young, naive, but generally sweet) was also talking about how we should be upset about the property damage caused by looting. Several phrases commonly understood as racist 'dogwhistles' were used. This turned the conversation and made everyone uncomfortable. My SSV then asked them to just please stop talking. They didn't, instead they tried to explain themselves and even apologise (I think they genuinely had no clue the hurt their words were causing, but it was obviously upsetting my friend, and me too for that matter). I took the partner aside and just said 'please stop talking about this' repeatedly until they did.
I live in the Deep South. Sundays are a sea of MAGA hats ,and the like. Especially now, I feel it is my responsibility to fight racism by standing up to other white people when they think I'm 'in on it' and say hateful things. It happens so often down here--some good ole boy will say 'I'd rather you or the other girl make my drink instead of them' with a wink and nod at the only nonwhite partner-- to give an example from irl. It's only a matter of time before customers will bring their racist remarks inside, or another partner says something hateful on the floor. Any advice, experience, or things partners can do to support each other would be greatly appreciated. Because honestly I think I will lose it the next time someone opens their mouth to spread racism in my presence, but having a meltdown on the floor would not be beneficial to anyone.
This is an honest appeal to make all of my friends feel safe at work, and things that might make people uncomfortable that I'm not aware of.
Like all other people not in a coma, I have been discussing the protests at work with my friends. Today, though, one partner (young, naive, but generally sweet) was also talking about how we should be upset about the property damage caused by looting. Several phrases commonly understood as racist 'dogwhistles' were used. This turned the conversation and made everyone uncomfortable. My SSV then asked them to just please stop talking. They didn't, instead they tried to explain themselves and even apologise (I think they genuinely had no clue the hurt their words were causing, but it was obviously upsetting my friend, and me too for that matter). I took the partner aside and just said 'please stop talking about this' repeatedly until they did.
I live in the Deep South. Sundays are a sea of MAGA hats ,and the like. Especially now, I feel it is my responsibility to fight racism by standing up to other white people when they think I'm 'in on it' and say hateful things. It happens so often down here--some good ole boy will say 'I'd rather you or the other girl make my drink instead of them' with a wink and nod at the only nonwhite partner-- to give an example from irl. It's only a matter of time before customers will bring their racist remarks inside, or another partner says something hateful on the floor. Any advice, experience, or things partners can do to support each other would be greatly appreciated. Because honestly I think I will lose it the next time someone opens their mouth to spread racism in my presence, but having a meltdown on the floor would not be beneficial to anyone.
This is an honest appeal to make all of my friends feel safe at work, and things that might make people uncomfortable that I'm not aware of.
NOTcreative- 28 points 3y ago
As an SM I love your ambition, empathy, and compassion for people. You’re right, the question is not an easy one to solve. It’s not an easy one to understand. What are racist “dog whistles”? Doesn’t sound like you believe the partner had knowledge they were being hurtful.
If your question is regard to how you handle it with the partner, it’s hard. You have to undo generations of learned/trained behavior to someone who is ignorant, ignorant not being a malicious word. It requires the barista in question to have an open mind and open ear, understanding that what they are saying is hurtful but now knowing why and genuinely wants to be better. Sitting them down and explaining so much they don’t understand.
As for customers, it’s a different story. I would say 0 tolerance. Do not accommodate them. Explain that the partner on bar is perfectly capable of making them a wonderful beverage in reasonable time and if they’re unhappy with that they can take their business elsewhere. You can’t call them out directly for being racist, but you can say this is who we are and what we are doing and if you don’t like it, goodbye.
If your question is regard to how you handle it with the partner, it’s hard. You have to undo generations of learned/trained behavior to someone who is ignorant, ignorant not being a malicious word. It requires the barista in question to have an open mind and open ear, understanding that what they are saying is hurtful but now knowing why and genuinely wants to be better. Sitting them down and explaining so much they don’t understand.
As for customers, it’s a different story. I would say 0 tolerance. Do not accommodate them. Explain that the partner on bar is perfectly capable of making them a wonderful beverage in reasonable time and if they’re unhappy with that they can take their business elsewhere. You can’t call them out directly for being racist, but you can say this is who we are and what we are doing and if you don’t like it, goodbye.
slamy420 7 points 3y ago
A "dog whistle" is a key phrase that to the untrained ears means something inconsequential but is code for something else. For example if you hear the term "international banks" associated with a jewish person that would be an anti-semetic dog whistle (after the conspiracy that jewish people control the banks). A common dog whistle for a poor poc would be "welfare queens" because there a prevailing conservative idea that poc do not work and instead live lavishly off food stamps and welfare.
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Theyre difficult to explain when someone who might just be ignorant is using them, as they might feel extra attacked- just makes the situation more complicated. Does the person using them believe hitler was right or did they just hear the phrase online without understanding?
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Theyre difficult to explain when someone who might just be ignorant is using them, as they might feel extra attacked- just makes the situation more complicated. Does the person using them believe hitler was right or did they just hear the phrase online without understanding?
Castiels_Bees 10 points 3y ago
I love your enthusiasm and empathy. Please never lose it.
When it comes to partners, your ssv was correct in asking them to stop talking about it. Technically, and please understand I am using the biggest air quotes I can, we're not supposed to be talking about it at all. If it comes down to it, walk the line and say "hey, X, that's not something we can discuss on the floor." This is hard for me as a ssv, because as you say, we're not in a coma or living under rocks. This is what is going on in our lives, and if we don't talk about it, nothing changes. Let them apologize, and tell them the subject is closed. If they continue out of malice, your ssv is within their rights to send that partner home. Perhaps at a different time, said partner can ask their questions in the back, where you could have an actual conversation. That is, if you're willing to coach them, and they're willing to listen.
As far as customers go? Hard stop on their bullshit. They don't get to pick and choose which partner makes their drink. If they don't like it, they can take it up with your SM and DM, and then explain to them why they're a racist piece of garbage. That's a clear violation of our third place policy, and you don't have to serve them if they can't be respectful, decent human beings.
I grew up in the South, and I feel for you. It's hard to continue to deal with generation upon generation of willfull ignorance and hate, especially in a position where we're expected to serve everyone with a smile. As long as we are silent, nothing changes. Stay strong. 💚💚💚
When it comes to partners, your ssv was correct in asking them to stop talking about it. Technically, and please understand I am using the biggest air quotes I can, we're not supposed to be talking about it at all. If it comes down to it, walk the line and say "hey, X, that's not something we can discuss on the floor." This is hard for me as a ssv, because as you say, we're not in a coma or living under rocks. This is what is going on in our lives, and if we don't talk about it, nothing changes. Let them apologize, and tell them the subject is closed. If they continue out of malice, your ssv is within their rights to send that partner home. Perhaps at a different time, said partner can ask their questions in the back, where you could have an actual conversation. That is, if you're willing to coach them, and they're willing to listen.
As far as customers go? Hard stop on their bullshit. They don't get to pick and choose which partner makes their drink. If they don't like it, they can take it up with your SM and DM, and then explain to them why they're a racist piece of garbage. That's a clear violation of our third place policy, and you don't have to serve them if they can't be respectful, decent human beings.
I grew up in the South, and I feel for you. It's hard to continue to deal with generation upon generation of willfull ignorance and hate, especially in a position where we're expected to serve everyone with a smile. As long as we are silent, nothing changes. Stay strong. 💚💚💚
Nigee_Ogee 6 points 3y ago
Bless you 🙏🏾. I appreciate how brave you are, I know you will never know what it’s like to actually be black, but I appreciate that you want justice.
tallbabie 3 points 3y ago
When it came up at work, I said to the whole floor over the headsets “can we please not discuss this right now. I cry for hours everyday and will start having a breakdown at work. I also don’t want to get upset with anyone. If you want to talk about it later, please get my number and we can discuss then.” I also was very relieved and happy for the support from my ssv, who also added that he understood everyone being heartbroken about it, but again didn’t want to have to get hr involved and possibly having people getting written up for saying something super ignorant.
I felt not discussing it at work (I’m in the Deep South too) but offering to have a discussion outside of work was my best bet, as I am still trying to keep from crying for hours everyday. I feel like maybe tackling micro-aggressions, dog whistles, and trying to change someone’s mindset might also be more effective in a one on one situation, too.
Op, I am also super scared about encountering racism when the cafe opens again. I am losing resiliency and feel like I’ll snap. For once, am glad covid closed the cafes, especially rn.
I felt not discussing it at work (I’m in the Deep South too) but offering to have a discussion outside of work was my best bet, as I am still trying to keep from crying for hours everyday. I feel like maybe tackling micro-aggressions, dog whistles, and trying to change someone’s mindset might also be more effective in a one on one situation, too.
Op, I am also super scared about encountering racism when the cafe opens again. I am losing resiliency and feel like I’ll snap. For once, am glad covid closed the cafes, especially rn.
romansapprentice 3 points 3y ago
I live in a liberal area so idk if any of this would apply to you.
So I think there are two seperate situations here -- the one with your partner and the one with other customers. However, the overarching idea here is to stay objective imo, if you're really looking to convince someone of something.
For the other customers, I would refuse to serve someone who was being racist. If they're saying something like the "have the other girls make it" when they're really just trying to make sure a POC doesn't make their drink, I would say something like "sorry sir, we have set positions and it's XYZ who is making that kind of drink right now. She's a certified barista and just as good as the rest of us and will make your drink great". You could also do the thing where you're forcing people to outwardly admit that they're being racist, which in most cases I've seen they do a complete 180 -- "why don't you want XYZ to make your drink sir? She's a certified barista too". Act like you have no clue of the racist undertones they're suggesting, usually they're too cowardly to say them overtly and will say nevermind and will nervously just go along with it then.
So I think there are two seperate situations here -- the one with your partner and the one with other customers. However, the overarching idea here is to stay objective imo, if you're really looking to convince someone of something.
For the other customers, I would refuse to serve someone who was being racist. If they're saying something like the "have the other girls make it" when they're really just trying to make sure a POC doesn't make their drink, I would say something like "sorry sir, we have set positions and it's XYZ who is making that kind of drink right now. She's a certified barista and just as good as the rest of us and will make your drink great". You could also do the thing where you're forcing people to outwardly admit that they're being racist, which in most cases I've seen they do a complete 180 -- "why don't you want XYZ to make your drink sir? She's a certified barista too". Act like you have no clue of the racist undertones they're suggesting, usually they're too cowardly to say them overtly and will say nevermind and will nervously just go along with it then.
siriushendrix 3 points 3y ago
I would say go straight to your SM or DM or HR but you live in the south and racism breeds there like bunnies. I’m really sorry. But best advice I can give you is don’t blow up. People like that expect bad reactions to prove their point. Let them spew their bullshit and allow them the space to show everyone who they really are and those that (dis)agree with what that person says will also be showing their true colors. Also it’s work. I know it sucks and I wish people could leave their beliefs at the door but people like that will open their mouth because they believe they can do so whenever and wherever. Definitely bring it up anyways with SM or higher. It’s better use of your time to try and inflict change outside of work than it is at work. At work there’s so many restrictions and red tape and stupid shit you’d have to be okay with crossing whereas in the real world you just gotta be ready to fight for what you believe in and I believe in you bro. I believe that you’re better than this dumbass partner and I hope they overcome their ignorance. You’re also better than trying to stoop to their level, the level of arrogance and ignorance. Stay strong my dude.
gothavocado 2 points 3y ago
This is a very real problem I had at work yesterday! But it was an older coworker who straight up started the conversation with “I’m old & I have opinions” 🙄i live in a very redneck area in southern Virginia but a generally very liberal store lol, but I could not stand what she had to say, and when I tried to explain my side, I just had another coworker say “it’s no use” to argue with her. She’s gonna say what she wants to say. Well not on my shift! I’m a new shift & I haven’t even gotten proper training yet so I know no one respects me but the attitude she gave when I just tried to explain that talking about it gives me anxiety & that’s why I didn’t wanna hear her talk about it at work (partial true but) she still was like “I don’t see the problem”
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