Tastes like decaf iced americano

I always just throw iced coffee in there if they are sos insistent or tell them to wait 24 hours

Tastes like Urnex and dirty sink water.

This post haunts me every time I look at cold brew now. Specifically, the implication that someone who I guess hasn't had water in WEEKS would have to be the one to pee in the cup to get that color.


THis is what goes through my head now, every time I make a fucking cold brew. How long would it take, going without water, to get this color? Would one even survive that long?


I think about some woefully dehydrated barista, gaunt from weeks of open to close shifts, having eaten only egg bites since this ordeal began, finally fed up with the ridiculous orders, the stubborn customers, the people who assume if they keep asking we can somehow bend the laws of physics in their favor and whatever they want will materialize out of thin air. They are so broken that when Karen, foaming at the mouth, eyes bulging with the strain of containing her misinformed and misplaced rage, taking every wrong she has experienced out on this haggard, underpaid, overworked barista, REFUSES to believe they are out of her beloved cold brew, they finally replay "ok, ma'am, one cold brew, coming up." And they head to the backroom, use what little energy they have left to piss in a cup, top it off with ice, and hand it to her with a smile. They smile after her until she is safely out of the store, and then they collapse to the floor, dead.

​

This is now all I can think of whenever I make a fucking cold brew. So thanks, I guess! Your post now lives in my head, rent-free, and it's been punching holes in the fucking walls.