Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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Choose your fighter: Barista Edition (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by coffeebartenderr
The best breakdown of different barista types at my store ALL FOR JOKES DONT TAKE OFFENSE ALSO WOULD LOVE TO SEE UR OWN CAUSE IM BAD AT THIS LOL:
•the fast lane: low drink quality but will keep your dt times low , most likely will complain but is somewhat respected during peak, wont restock anything but will make your entire floor a mess, low stamina, likely to burn out after 1 hour of bar
~drink of choice: quad espresso on ice with a splash of soy
•the perfectionist: follows every recipe by the book, doesnt batch frappes, shakes every tea and refresher , slow on purpose to show how much they dont care about rushing, longer stamina , high quality drink w no complaints except the dt time will be insane, can not be used during peak
~drink of choice: salted caramel cold brew
•the vet: 6+ years experience, a middle ground of fast & perfect, constantly complaining and talking about quitting but shows up on time to every shift, highly respected, undeclared ss who has to remind themselves to act their wage... low stamina cause theyre probably old, loves to tell stories of the unicorn and pokemon frappes, weakness: “these damn tiktok drinks”
~drink of choice: iced americano with 3 splendas
•the asu: knows the bare minimum of anything , minds their own business and brings their homework to every shift to do one question on their 30 , reminds everyone theyre only here for the scholarship and asks to switch shifts twice a week because they have class
~drink of choice: matcha or chai, iced with VSCF
•the DD: stands for Designated DTO, self explanatory, they cant bar and cant be bothered to learn, perfected the customer connection lines , talks in their customer service voice even on their breaks, put in cafe/ customer support occasionally
~drink of choice: iced white mocha with caramel drizzle and VSCF
•my Lord & Saviour: runs around like they get paid $60 an hour, will restock and change trash without being asked, stays out of the way, updates item availability frequently, hops on food or DTO if needed and will yell at customers for you, enjoys coming to work and will not be caught being lazy
~drink of choice: black tea lemonade with a splash of strawberry acai
•wide eyed bambi: says sorry every 10 seconds, will wait for you to be done with your drink in any station as to not enter your personal bubble, gets scared when anyones asks them to do something, doesnt speak unless spoken to, will quit instead of making a customer connection, thinks people dont like them when they are actually well liked, is nice tho, weakness: mean customers, one on ones w the sm.
~drink of choice: verry berry
•the fast lane: low drink quality but will keep your dt times low , most likely will complain but is somewhat respected during peak, wont restock anything but will make your entire floor a mess, low stamina, likely to burn out after 1 hour of bar
~drink of choice: quad espresso on ice with a splash of soy
•the perfectionist: follows every recipe by the book, doesnt batch frappes, shakes every tea and refresher , slow on purpose to show how much they dont care about rushing, longer stamina , high quality drink w no complaints except the dt time will be insane, can not be used during peak
~drink of choice: salted caramel cold brew
•the vet: 6+ years experience, a middle ground of fast & perfect, constantly complaining and talking about quitting but shows up on time to every shift, highly respected, undeclared ss who has to remind themselves to act their wage... low stamina cause theyre probably old, loves to tell stories of the unicorn and pokemon frappes, weakness: “these damn tiktok drinks”
~drink of choice: iced americano with 3 splendas
•the asu: knows the bare minimum of anything , minds their own business and brings their homework to every shift to do one question on their 30 , reminds everyone theyre only here for the scholarship and asks to switch shifts twice a week because they have class
~drink of choice: matcha or chai, iced with VSCF
•the DD: stands for Designated DTO, self explanatory, they cant bar and cant be bothered to learn, perfected the customer connection lines , talks in their customer service voice even on their breaks, put in cafe/ customer support occasionally
~drink of choice: iced white mocha with caramel drizzle and VSCF
•my Lord & Saviour: runs around like they get paid $60 an hour, will restock and change trash without being asked, stays out of the way, updates item availability frequently, hops on food or DTO if needed and will yell at customers for you, enjoys coming to work and will not be caught being lazy
~drink of choice: black tea lemonade with a splash of strawberry acai
•wide eyed bambi: says sorry every 10 seconds, will wait for you to be done with your drink in any station as to not enter your personal bubble, gets scared when anyones asks them to do something, doesnt speak unless spoken to, will quit instead of making a customer connection, thinks people dont like them when they are actually well liked, is nice tho, weakness: mean customers, one on ones w the sm.
~drink of choice: verry berry
ilholtstilin 113 points 2y ago
The Soloist: Does not need and will not accept your help, except in the form of restocks. Seems to always be using every single blender, pitcher and milk at once. Does not speak to customers or coworkers aside from necessary exchanges of data. Insists that attempts to provide support would only “break the sequence” and is somehow correct about this. Slams pitchers, is irritated by all other deployments. 10/10 recommend—must have for non-peak day parts.
Edit: Drink of Choice: Ice water to refill veins.
Edit: Drink of Choice: Ice water to refill veins.
coffeebartenderr [OP] 46 points 2y ago
the triple filtered water hits different and ahhh i hate when people start pulling my stickers trying to “help” and i have to stop and explain what i already got going or which ones i made lol i feeeel u 😭
ilholtstilin 6 points 2y ago
Oh this isn’t me, it’s just the fighter I choose.
Brgnbo 3 points 2y ago
Lmaooo this was me today I had two partners helping me but every sticker they pulled I was already working on. I was like omg I got it please just put my stickers down, respectfully.
sharkiemd 18 points 2y ago
you just clocked me so hard LMAO..... and lord help me when the time comes when i DO need help because that means i am ✨losing my shit✨
silentwhisperer1484 3 points 2y ago
LOL this is me. I just need people to stay out of my way and not grab my drinks to finish them. Keep me stocked and I’ll keep these drinks going!
coffeesparklez 2 points 2y ago
Do you work with me or something? >D
[deleted] 1 points 2y ago
[removed]
cringeqween13 85 points 2y ago
The Smol Bean: Few months old Green bean. Always schedule during peak so never gets any bar time unless they switch to night shifts. Always on DTR or CS. Is very bubbly and smiles, but is really anxious and depressed. Will cry if yelled at. ~drink of choice: undecided (they still haven't tried the whole menu)
Jamisonnn 2 points 2y ago
Damn I feel called out ._.
cringeqween13 2 points 2y ago
I was calling myself put too 😅😅
blxckedge 2 points 2y ago
HA yeah
srowland1110 60 points 2y ago
The Dead Bean
The person people look to when drive times are insane, still neat on bar when getting times under 45 seconds, doesn’t care about stamina, has a great mask for customers but as soon as a fellow barista ask how they are they reply “I’m dying”
The person people look to when drive times are insane, still neat on bar when getting times under 45 seconds, doesn’t care about stamina, has a great mask for customers but as soon as a fellow barista ask how they are they reply “I’m dying”
BaristaBeech 4 points 2y ago
Me and I’ve only been at the bux for 7-8 months
navkabar 3 points 2y ago
okay this is me
MochiMasu 34 points 2y ago
I'm very much wide eye Bambi - Although my co workers say they like me and voted me for poq I still feel like they don't lmao.
nonnaan 18 points 2y ago
The teenager: goes to the local high school, may be shy/timid but a goofball, doesn't like working DT but easily gets overwhelmed on bar, will engage in drama if asked about it, probably part of the LGBTQ+ community
The burnt out: Has been working for a year or two, has seen partners come and go and talks about them occasionally, tries their best but has lost motivation over the years, either gossips about coworkers or completely minds their business, probably goes to college nearby, hates Starbucks but is active in the group chat 24/7 and doesn't talk about much else
The loner: Probably a ssv, quiet but no one reprimands them about it, mid 20s, never talks in group chat, may be creepy
The burnt out: Has been working for a year or two, has seen partners come and go and talks about them occasionally, tries their best but has lost motivation over the years, either gossips about coworkers or completely minds their business, probably goes to college nearby, hates Starbucks but is active in the group chat 24/7 and doesn't talk about much else
The loner: Probably a ssv, quiet but no one reprimands them about it, mid 20s, never talks in group chat, may be creepy
margueritescristaux 7 points 2y ago
Oh no that burn out is too accurate
TheBrookAndTheBluff 16 points 2y ago
I’m so tired of the focus on DT times. Starbucks can’t be a beggar chooser. We can’t have fast DT times when we constantly got orders of 4+ items during peak and we also can’t make “every drink perfect” and make customer connections while keeping DT times low. There’s no incentive to do all this besides keeping our jobs and yet Starbucks still expects us to do all of the above, every single shift. It’s horseshit. And I’ve only been here for 3 months.
RistrettoIsBae 16 points 2y ago
Booboo Jeffries. Jk!
None of these match me so I’m going to do a synopsis.
Playful Caffeinated Speed Demon
Friendly, playful always positive. Super fast, zooms around the store and enjoys zooming and moving, often frustrated when things are slow and/or in a planted position. Has spatial awareness and can avoid collisions with people. Extremely fast at all times because when they’re fast time is fast.
On time. Groans audibly when put in planted locations but will trudge over there and do it well, anyway. Will pick up years old trash in the bushes during a green sweep like a perfectionist. Will come back in covered in leaves and scratches like they fought with a wild animal…but with a huge impressive half bag of trash. They would have shown the impressive half bag of trash if they didn’t decide to take it directly to the dumpster along with a few other trash cans so nobody else had to do it later. Needs to clean as they go, can’t stand messes, very disturbed and perplexed by the cold bar paradox that can’t be cleaned as you go. Will get caught silently strategizing how to solve the paradox during downtime to work more efficiently. Does math in their head when they get cash payments to beat the computer to the punch to entertain themselves when in planted positions.
Will try to complete tasks early by managing time and slow periods so there is less to do later. Probably did something that wasn’t on the clean play…before close. Now the inside of the cabinets are immaculate. Asks manager to write it in the book so people know it’s done, just incase. Your floors are always mopped by this person as they think it’s good cardio. Gets silently irritated when people walk on the wet floor and make it streak.
This person would seem very anal retentive and annoying if they weren’t able to lessen your workload and still find a way to be playful and a team player. Doesn’t boss people around and thinks it’s above their pay grade. Will randomly belt out hit songs with shift relevant alternate lyrics for comic relief when no customers are around.
Drink: Ristretto shots on ice, black.
None of these match me so I’m going to do a synopsis.
Playful Caffeinated Speed Demon
Friendly, playful always positive. Super fast, zooms around the store and enjoys zooming and moving, often frustrated when things are slow and/or in a planted position. Has spatial awareness and can avoid collisions with people. Extremely fast at all times because when they’re fast time is fast.
On time. Groans audibly when put in planted locations but will trudge over there and do it well, anyway. Will pick up years old trash in the bushes during a green sweep like a perfectionist. Will come back in covered in leaves and scratches like they fought with a wild animal…but with a huge impressive half bag of trash. They would have shown the impressive half bag of trash if they didn’t decide to take it directly to the dumpster along with a few other trash cans so nobody else had to do it later. Needs to clean as they go, can’t stand messes, very disturbed and perplexed by the cold bar paradox that can’t be cleaned as you go. Will get caught silently strategizing how to solve the paradox during downtime to work more efficiently. Does math in their head when they get cash payments to beat the computer to the punch to entertain themselves when in planted positions.
Will try to complete tasks early by managing time and slow periods so there is less to do later. Probably did something that wasn’t on the clean play…before close. Now the inside of the cabinets are immaculate. Asks manager to write it in the book so people know it’s done, just incase. Your floors are always mopped by this person as they think it’s good cardio. Gets silently irritated when people walk on the wet floor and make it streak.
This person would seem very anal retentive and annoying if they weren’t able to lessen your workload and still find a way to be playful and a team player. Doesn’t boss people around and thinks it’s above their pay grade. Will randomly belt out hit songs with shift relevant alternate lyrics for comic relief when no customers are around.
Drink: Ristretto shots on ice, black.
cringeqween13 7 points 2y ago
I didn't need to be called out about the cabinets.
RistrettoIsBae 2 points 2y ago
😆
coffeebartenderr [OP] 5 points 2y ago
bahahha yesss love it sounds like a mix of my Lord and Saviour with a touch of act your wage 😂😂💓
RistrettoIsBae 4 points 2y ago
I need physical and mental challenges at work and need movement and mental stimulation. So I create it where I can. Mainly, it’s doing the jobs nobody else likes or wants to do. I can’t just stand around because time DRAGS. It’s the worst. It makes work fun! This was a cute post, OP! ❤️
GuiltyGoblin 3 points 2y ago
Ah, that's the one. You wrote it better than I could.
[deleted] 1 points 2y ago
[removed]
dorybunz 15 points 2y ago
definitely the vet. although i’m only about to be 4+ years in october im a stickler for making sure drinks are correct and will call out anyone for using bad shots or not shaking their teas. can definitely still get a 45 drive time but will get very grouchy and irritable halfway thru peak due to being burnt out already and everyone and everything is annoying me at that point lol. should definitely care less about times and my performance since my wage is not worth the stress and i always complain about my job but it is engrained into my brain every morning to get a good time
drink of choice : nitro with sweet cream with 2 pumps of hazelnut right before peak to get that caffeine flowing through my veins
drink of choice : nitro with sweet cream with 2 pumps of hazelnut right before peak to get that caffeine flowing through my veins
omaha-mike-golf 14 points 2y ago
Not me getting called out for all my “I’m just hear for my $10/hr and free tuition” rants while being the DD lmao, but it’s so true!
fairydustmary 5 points 2y ago
STOP I'm literally the last one, and I don't even want to bother someone with making my refresher, I just toss it together and get off the floor asap 😅
Im_just_not_cool 4 points 2y ago
You nailed my Lord and Savior! That was me (I loved customer support) and my drink but we quit that shit now
killerwhaletank 4 points 2y ago
The Vet. I’m a little surprised, like, have you been watching me work?
coffeebartenderr [OP] 3 points 2y ago
LOL im a people watcher its one of my best/worst traits 😭
sunflowercupcakee 3 points 2y ago
The vet who has a rep of saying they are putting in their two weeks at least once a week who needs the caffeine instead of wanting it
irisapfel 3 points 2y ago
I’m in the fast lane hehe but I’m a little bit of the perfectionist as well (follows every recipe by the book + shakes everything).
KingBee204 3 points 2y ago
I am somehow a strange mix of wide eyed Bambi and your lord and Savior😂
hookahpop 2 points 2y ago
I am the lord and savior but I really wish I wasn’t 😭
Medusas_daughter 2 points 2y ago
As a partner of 6 months, you really called me out as the wide eyed Bambi I-🥲
thehellchild 2 points 2y ago
between the vet & the bambi. this is hysterical.
transzalore 1 points 7m ago
Speed demon and burnt-out bean; I try super hard for half my shift, store starts filling and tensions start rising, go on lunch, think about never coming back, come back and try to get back into groove, but loathe what the customers, broken store, and the pressure of the job grinds us down to, and end up leaving store for the day exhausted, emotionally physically and spiritually a wreck.
theo_shedrick 1 points 2y ago
I didn’t think I saw myself on here until the last one :,)
MaralosaKingdom 1 points 2y ago
I’m somehow the fast lane, the ASU, and the wide eyed Bambi all at once
rlogranite 1 points 2y ago
That's very accurate and observant probably works at Starbucks too long and needs a vacation. 😆
coffeebartenderr [OP] 3 points 2y ago
ive been here one year and yes i do need a vacation but my requests get denied every single time 😭😂
Kaylushhh 1 points 2y ago
Wow with the Vet I feel personally attacked hahaha
But it’s very true minus the drink and low stamina. I love my shaken espresso and I’m fast af.
But it’s very true minus the drink and low stamina. I love my shaken espresso and I’m fast af.
OlHyena04 1 points 2y ago
I'm more like machine. Between fast lane and perfection
AvoFromCado 1 points 2y ago
I hate that I can read this and name which baristas fit perfectly into the categories😂😂😂
yungscoobysnacc 1 points 2y ago
I would consider myself a mix of lord and savior and wide eyed Bambi. I just quit. lol gotta remind myself I make $11.40 an hour
bryceofswadia 1 points 2y ago
i’m a mix of bambi and the perfectionist tbh (i’m not as soft as bambi but i do a lot of the things u put there plus i think everyone hates me even tho most of my coworkers frequently say nice things about me and tell me they miss me when i’m not there/get a shift covered)
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