Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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parents forcing me to quit or get fired (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by b0rrowers
preface: im 16 and this is my first job. still a green bean, hired in march, started in april… been here like 2 months and im really in a tough situation right now…
i have abusive parents and at the time of getting a job i was using a secret phone sice they didnt allow me to have one. they thought i was accessing my schedule and my bank from my school provided laptop but in reality it wasnt even possible. well i had to turn it in for the summer and i decided it was time to get a real phone so i bought myself a nice phone before turning it in. my parents had already told me im not allowed to get them with this jobs. without too much details, my dad ended up physically aussaulting me and they are trying to make me quit.
they say they can just go in and show my manager their IDs and quit for me since im a minor. i guess they can do that buy also they say if i just uber to work when they’ve already said no they are gonna call the cops on me. they said they might let me go to work until the summer ends if i apologize to him and try and smooth things out.
i definitely dont wanna bring that to work. that happened on monday and i had already called out my shift for this wednesday but i have another on friday and sunday. i feel like my manager will get sus of me if i call out 3 days in a row (my parents said i have to take off at least a week but they will probably make me quit) but i really dont wanna have to tell her the full story to get sympathy or whatever. that or she might blame me for taking this job knowing my uncertain circumstances. she already got on me for wanting to change my availability to be less late at night bc my parents were getting mad at me.
i considered faking covid for the 2 week catastrophe pay and time off but that wouldnt be right.
honestly im so stressed and im not even sure what subs to post this in but i need help. i need to keep my job.
i dont want my record with employers to be marred bc of my parents or not be reconsidered for rehire from sbux. and i dont want to leave my partners even MORE understaffed for the weeks it would take to replace me.
i have abusive parents and at the time of getting a job i was using a secret phone sice they didnt allow me to have one. they thought i was accessing my schedule and my bank from my school provided laptop but in reality it wasnt even possible. well i had to turn it in for the summer and i decided it was time to get a real phone so i bought myself a nice phone before turning it in. my parents had already told me im not allowed to get them with this jobs. without too much details, my dad ended up physically aussaulting me and they are trying to make me quit.
they say they can just go in and show my manager their IDs and quit for me since im a minor. i guess they can do that buy also they say if i just uber to work when they’ve already said no they are gonna call the cops on me. they said they might let me go to work until the summer ends if i apologize to him and try and smooth things out.
i definitely dont wanna bring that to work. that happened on monday and i had already called out my shift for this wednesday but i have another on friday and sunday. i feel like my manager will get sus of me if i call out 3 days in a row (my parents said i have to take off at least a week but they will probably make me quit) but i really dont wanna have to tell her the full story to get sympathy or whatever. that or she might blame me for taking this job knowing my uncertain circumstances. she already got on me for wanting to change my availability to be less late at night bc my parents were getting mad at me.
i considered faking covid for the 2 week catastrophe pay and time off but that wouldnt be right.
honestly im so stressed and im not even sure what subs to post this in but i need help. i need to keep my job.
i dont want my record with employers to be marred bc of my parents or not be reconsidered for rehire from sbux. and i dont want to leave my partners even MORE understaffed for the weeks it would take to replace me.
madeline7381 40 points 2y ago
if you’re ready to say fuck your parents then get the police involved seriously especially since you were physically assaulted
madeline7381 20 points 2y ago
also talk to a shift supervisor or manager you trust. i’m a shift supervisor and if you were at my store i would advise getting police involved: since you are a minor they can decide things like you having a job. but they have no right you physically assault you.
madeline7381 10 points 2y ago
sorry i keep commenting but i’m 21 and have had a few minors and young adults (like just turned 18) recently hired at my store. i promise if you talk to them it will not be an inconvenience. no matter how long you’ve been there, you can talk to them. talk to your shift supervisors and managers. as a shift supervisor i hope that if any of my partners need help they will feel safe enough to talk to me about it.
neeto 3 points 2y ago
I left home when I was your age and finished college by 20, just putting that out there. Of course I still ended up at Starbucks after that so ymmv lol. You should just tell your manager so they understand what’s going on with you. They might even be able to help.
JeanLucPicardsAss 2 points 2y ago
Look into emancipation and see if it would be a good fit for your situation. You might have to make some plans or changes before trying if you decide to, but its possible and if police/cps are no help it may be something to think about. In terms of what you can do now about your job, your shift leads are there for you, if there are any you trust and like. They can speak to the manager with you if you'd like some support, or just listen and be aware of the situation so they can check up and make sure you're okay. I hope that you find a solution, not just for work but for your own safety and well being. Take care as best you can, and please update us sometime so we know you're alright.
Beardzesty 2 points 2y ago
You need to get the cops involved for your own safety. Nothing else matters except getting out of your situation. The police could help you. I would tell your manager that you have a severe family issue that needs worked on. Maybe go as far as to say it involves the police, and you won't be able to make it the rest of the week. Be apologetic for that part but don't stress. Your doing what you have to and being whole heartedly sorry for that is usually fake. So just be real, be assertive that this problem is much worse than missing a few days at work. Hopefully you can work it out and keep your phone and job.
b0rrowers [OP] 2 points 2y ago
the police is already involved and so is cps but nothiis going in my favor other than me pressing charges and getting the phone. the cop made them give me the phone bc otherwise it’d be theft but other than that they left me in the hole
Beardzesty 1 points 2y ago
Its small steps atleast. Im hoping you can find a safe place soon. Maybe with friends? Idk I'm shooting in the dark here but I do absolutely wish and hope something comes along or happens soon to help you out.
reallkd 2 points 2y ago
Im so sorry youre going through this, i wish there was an easy fix. Please try to find help and get away if you can, your father putting hands on you is not okay and neither is any of the abuse theyre putting you through.
AshlingA 2 points 2y ago
Edit I looked it up and they can legall quit for you, but I’d push it still if you’re ready to leave your parents.
You need to report your parents though, that’s a level of abuse that leads to you being a victim for life.
If you’re ready to move on from that toxic situation you can Uber to work and let them call the cops, when you do take everything you need for at least a week in a backpack, and then when the cops come you inform them you are not running away you are merely working and that your parents abuse you and are trying to force you to be completely under their control by making you quit or get fired.
I’d tell your store manager, not the shifts, and tell the manager that you don’t want it public or workplace knowledge, and if your store manager gives you a hard time direct message me
You need to report your parents though, that’s a level of abuse that leads to you being a victim for life.
If you’re ready to move on from that toxic situation you can Uber to work and let them call the cops, when you do take everything you need for at least a week in a backpack, and then when the cops come you inform them you are not running away you are merely working and that your parents abuse you and are trying to force you to be completely under their control by making you quit or get fired.
I’d tell your store manager, not the shifts, and tell the manager that you don’t want it public or workplace knowledge, and if your store manager gives you a hard time direct message me
b0rrowers [OP] 2 points 2y ago
ive already gotten police involved. i can press charges against my dad but cps also came later that day. i dont know if the investigation is finished but she basically told me that i was being disobedient and disrespectful. she’s the one who told them to call the cops on me if i leave without permission and even said that i might get sent to juvenile detention for it.
i considered making a deal witb them along the lines of “i dont press charges and you let me keep working” but i havent brought it up yet. my family can’t really afford to take the charges so it might work but also if it doesn’t i dont gain anything other than pressing charges (im pretty sure victims dont get any kind of settlement in this situation)
i considered making a deal witb them along the lines of “i dont press charges and you let me keep working” but i havent brought it up yet. my family can’t really afford to take the charges so it might work but also if it doesn’t i dont gain anything other than pressing charges (im pretty sure victims dont get any kind of settlement in this situation)
aspen_silence 3 points 2y ago
Holy hell have I been triggered. I was abused my whole life by my father mentally, physically, and emotionally.
For CPS to say that crap is BEYOND not OK. Seriously...I just can't even with this...no one has the right to touch your person EVER. When I was in my early 20's my father had his hands around my throat while on the phone with the police saying I was refusing to leave his house. Was straight told by the cops I could press domestic violence charges against everyone living there for holding me hostage and falsely calling the police (as in claiming tresspassing). At the time I didn't because I didn't want to deal with them, but I wish I had.
If possible, absolutely press domestic abuse charges. Keep the paper trail going with every instance. Talk to your manager so they know what's going on, hell talk to your district manager of you feel comfortable with that so they know too.
Your safety is the most important thing. From one former abused person, know you're worth so much more than what your 'family' is doing to you. It sucks, I know but unless they get consequences, they'll continue.
Hugs from afar
For CPS to say that crap is BEYOND not OK. Seriously...I just can't even with this...no one has the right to touch your person EVER. When I was in my early 20's my father had his hands around my throat while on the phone with the police saying I was refusing to leave his house. Was straight told by the cops I could press domestic violence charges against everyone living there for holding me hostage and falsely calling the police (as in claiming tresspassing). At the time I didn't because I didn't want to deal with them, but I wish I had.
If possible, absolutely press domestic abuse charges. Keep the paper trail going with every instance. Talk to your manager so they know what's going on, hell talk to your district manager of you feel comfortable with that so they know too.
Your safety is the most important thing. From one former abused person, know you're worth so much more than what your 'family' is doing to you. It sucks, I know but unless they get consequences, they'll continue.
Hugs from afar
b0rrowers [OP] 1 points 2y ago
just got wind today: the detective and cps agent think i stretched my story or i’d be a “bloody pulp” i was the disobedient child. i was the aggressor apparently. and corporal punishment is legal in my state. she dropped the case and basically told me i have to listen to everything they say and dtold them to take my phonw and job away. i feel so defeated. like i’ll never be free and it wasnt worth it
aspen_silence 2 points 2y ago
I promise life gets better once you can finally leave. It's terrifying at first but know you can choose your family once you do get to leave which is even better.
I don't know where you're from (if I had to guess, probably smaller town based on CPS and police response?) but corporal punishment is legal in all US states inside the home, parents can claim all sorts of stuff. My mum actually started taking pictures of the bruises my father would leave on me when I'd get back from his house because he claimed I was just clumsy. Weird I never had bruises like those when I was home alone.
Take yourself to the police department if you can each time to get a report started and see of they can document any injuries. You'd be surprised what injuries can arise without any marks.
Most importantly keep yourself as safe as possible and know one day (soon!) this nightmare will be over and you can finally be free ❤❤
I don't know where you're from (if I had to guess, probably smaller town based on CPS and police response?) but corporal punishment is legal in all US states inside the home, parents can claim all sorts of stuff. My mum actually started taking pictures of the bruises my father would leave on me when I'd get back from his house because he claimed I was just clumsy. Weird I never had bruises like those when I was home alone.
Take yourself to the police department if you can each time to get a report started and see of they can document any injuries. You'd be surprised what injuries can arise without any marks.
Most importantly keep yourself as safe as possible and know one day (soon!) this nightmare will be over and you can finally be free ❤❤
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