Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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Venti(ng) about transphobic manager (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by samusarans
I just need to vent about this and maybe get some advice on what to do.
I’m a trans woman who was hired by the siren around 3 months ago. It’s my first job being completely out and all of my coworkers have been super accepting. All of them except the manager. Even though she hired me on as a woman, she still constantly refers to me as “he” and “him”. What’s more is that she’ll do this while talking to regulars, so when they overhear her referring to me as a man, they assume I’m a guy, and I get nothing but “sir” and “man” until I say something, and then it becomes a whole awkward thing. This wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t been doing it for the past 3 months. I don’t work with her often, but other coworkers and supervisors have talked to her telling her she needs to get it together and stop doing that. The last time i worked with her this past monday, I had to talk to her after we closed because I was getting really tired of it. She didn’t even want to try to correct herself, she literally told me “I’m going to keep doing it” and I had to basically threaten to transfer or escalate this before she said “I’ll try”. I’m just at wit’s end here, and since people are leaving left and right, I’ve been having to work with her more often, and it’s so hard to have a calm shift when I’m worried she’ll shout “He’ll take care of you” from across the bar at any given moment. Has anyone else had to deal with a toxic manager like this before? Sorry if this reads skittishly, I’m writing this all in the bathroom mid-shift.
TL;DR - manager constantly misgenders me in front of customers, doesn’t want to stop, and I’m considering transferring or walking out
I’m a trans woman who was hired by the siren around 3 months ago. It’s my first job being completely out and all of my coworkers have been super accepting. All of them except the manager. Even though she hired me on as a woman, she still constantly refers to me as “he” and “him”. What’s more is that she’ll do this while talking to regulars, so when they overhear her referring to me as a man, they assume I’m a guy, and I get nothing but “sir” and “man” until I say something, and then it becomes a whole awkward thing. This wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t been doing it for the past 3 months. I don’t work with her often, but other coworkers and supervisors have talked to her telling her she needs to get it together and stop doing that. The last time i worked with her this past monday, I had to talk to her after we closed because I was getting really tired of it. She didn’t even want to try to correct herself, she literally told me “I’m going to keep doing it” and I had to basically threaten to transfer or escalate this before she said “I’ll try”. I’m just at wit’s end here, and since people are leaving left and right, I’ve been having to work with her more often, and it’s so hard to have a calm shift when I’m worried she’ll shout “He’ll take care of you” from across the bar at any given moment. Has anyone else had to deal with a toxic manager like this before? Sorry if this reads skittishly, I’m writing this all in the bathroom mid-shift.
TL;DR - manager constantly misgenders me in front of customers, doesn’t want to stop, and I’m considering transferring or walking out
awesomechief989 23 points 2y ago
I think it’s PPRC or something but it definitely sounds time to call them, your manager should not be acting like that and has had plenty of time to fix it.
Beardzesty 15 points 2y ago
You can go above them to your dm and let your situation be heard. Now a days this shit doesn't fly with corporate
matchababyy 12 points 2y ago
time to call up the big guys! don't let your manager win this by not contacting the dm or ethics number (something like that). best wishes to you.
OneRoseDark 11 points 2y ago
Call your DM and the Partner Resource Center. Your DM's number should be available on business cards either in the lobby or in the back office or both. Call 1-888-SBUX-411 for the PRC.
Start with your DM because corporate's first question will be if you've talked to them.
From one non-cis person to another, I'm so sorry and I'm gunning for you.
Start with your DM because corporate's first question will be if you've talked to them.
From one non-cis person to another, I'm so sorry and I'm gunning for you.
nightkat89 7 points 2y ago
As a trans woman who has dealt with this first handed, PLEASE call the partner help line. Your SM needs to be shown that this doesn’t fly
cherrythot 7 points 2y ago
You shouldn’t be a manager if you can’t treat your workers with respect. I’m sorry this has happened to you. Contact your DM. I’d suggest that you email them, or anything you can prove documentation of. Then call partner resources if nothing is resolved.
Tara_Kitten 6 points 2y ago
Heya, I'm also a partner who happens to be trans. As the others have said, this is absolutely unacceptable behavior on your manager's part. You are a woman, your pronouns are she/her, so there is absolutely no justification for their mistreatment. I doubt your manager treats other women like this, so this is targeted harassment.
Contact your DM and Partner Resources. Good luck and let us know what happens!
Contact your DM and Partner Resources. Good luck and let us know what happens!
Independent_Group_24 3 points 2y ago
As a partner who has experienced discrimination, witnessed and filed reports about discrimination and harassment, I echo what has been said:
Contact your DM.
Then Ethics and Compliance. The PCC doesn't handle this stuff anymore, but they will give you the number. Either way, contact Ethics and Compliance so there is a record of the conversation since there wouldn't be with your DM, unless it was through email. *Note* Ethics and Compliance isn't HR, it's a different company so they do their own research and stuff, from what I understand.
I'd file that report ASAP before something happens...
Long story short, I was written up a few times when I spoke up to my SM about some discrimination and they wrote me up for random stuff. I nearly got fired for dumb stuff but they made it look bad!
Contact your DM.
Then Ethics and Compliance. The PCC doesn't handle this stuff anymore, but they will give you the number. Either way, contact Ethics and Compliance so there is a record of the conversation since there wouldn't be with your DM, unless it was through email. *Note* Ethics and Compliance isn't HR, it's a different company so they do their own research and stuff, from what I understand.
I'd file that report ASAP before something happens...
Long story short, I was written up a few times when I spoke up to my SM about some discrimination and they wrote me up for random stuff. I nearly got fired for dumb stuff but they made it look bad!
Independent_Group_24 1 points 2y ago
The result of my and others reports was the manager was demoted and transferred out of the district. Starbucks doesn't tolerate discrimination. Speak your truth, love❤️
Kind_Fox_951 3 points 2y ago
This is so inappropriate and you must report this. Starbucks is strong and vocal about its inclusion policies. Take action and persevere!
I’m so sorry to hear about this. I totally understand her misgendering you if she’d barley found out about your pronouns but her telling you blatantly that she will never learn them is so disrespectful.
Before reporting her, make sure that you yourself have told her your preferred pronouns so that it is crystal clear on how’d you’d like to be referred. If you don’t mind reaching a consensus of “they/them” try it out, if not, I suggest taking the matter to a higher department. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable in the work place environment. Hope, all goes well!
I’m so sorry to hear about this. I totally understand her misgendering you if she’d barley found out about your pronouns but her telling you blatantly that she will never learn them is so disrespectful.
Before reporting her, make sure that you yourself have told her your preferred pronouns so that it is crystal clear on how’d you’d like to be referred. If you don’t mind reaching a consensus of “they/them” try it out, if not, I suggest taking the matter to a higher department. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable in the work place environment. Hope, all goes well!
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