Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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Is my SSV abusive or just mean? (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by hoewenn
I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with my SSV and I'd know a bit, I've been in an actual abusive relationship. Warning, this might be long for context.
She will constantly belittle me, tell me I'm too slow (when the two other SSVs tell me I'm doing great), tell me I'm too quiet, pull me aside to scold me for simply asking where certain items and restocks are kept, and make her problems out to be worse than mine.
Today we had a huge rush for 3 straight hours, we were so behind on orders, and she'd tell me to call out orders including mobile orders while on bar, which meant I had to spend my time handing drinks out rather than making them, making us even more behind in orders. I was happy to do this but then she'd scold me for being too slow on bar because I couldn't catch up while handing the orders out. When I was on bar 2 for cafe orders, she'd hand me mobile orders and tell me to do those first, but then once I was behind on cafe (since she told me to prioritize the mobile orders...) she'd scold me for THAT. Basically, she just scolds me for doing what she told me to do!
She shocked me later after the rush (around 11, time is relevant) by asking "how are you doing? Be honest, don't lie." I told her I was stressed. And then she says "Now you know how I feel! I've been here since 4:30, no break. You've been here since 7:30 and you got a break." Like, you've been working here years... I've worked here two months. I've got a right to be stressed.
During the rush, I was making a mango dragonfruit refresher and we ran out of the inclusions, so I went back to get a few bags only to find the strawberry inclusions. So I rush outside and ask her where they are, she sighs loudly, and follows me back there, and shows me the box (with super small text, that I literally could not read cause I'm super short and the box was up high) that was sealed shut. She then spends 10 minutes (during rush?? and then complains about being stressed??) telling me how stressful it is for her to have people ask her where things are when we are busy, that it makes her life so difficult, that I need to think about how it is to be her, all the while I'm trying not to cry cause she's literally triggering me.
She also gets really upset when I ask her to repeat herself if I didn't catch what she said to me, especially if she just says something to me out of nowhere without catching my attention first. And then she constantly just tells people and me about how I'm so quiet and never speak and "why are you so quiet?" I don't know. Maybe cause you're making me uncomfortable.
I guess my question is, is she an abusive SSV or is she just your average mean supervisor?
She will constantly belittle me, tell me I'm too slow (when the two other SSVs tell me I'm doing great), tell me I'm too quiet, pull me aside to scold me for simply asking where certain items and restocks are kept, and make her problems out to be worse than mine.
Today we had a huge rush for 3 straight hours, we were so behind on orders, and she'd tell me to call out orders including mobile orders while on bar, which meant I had to spend my time handing drinks out rather than making them, making us even more behind in orders. I was happy to do this but then she'd scold me for being too slow on bar because I couldn't catch up while handing the orders out. When I was on bar 2 for cafe orders, she'd hand me mobile orders and tell me to do those first, but then once I was behind on cafe (since she told me to prioritize the mobile orders...) she'd scold me for THAT. Basically, she just scolds me for doing what she told me to do!
She shocked me later after the rush (around 11, time is relevant) by asking "how are you doing? Be honest, don't lie." I told her I was stressed. And then she says "Now you know how I feel! I've been here since 4:30, no break. You've been here since 7:30 and you got a break." Like, you've been working here years... I've worked here two months. I've got a right to be stressed.
During the rush, I was making a mango dragonfruit refresher and we ran out of the inclusions, so I went back to get a few bags only to find the strawberry inclusions. So I rush outside and ask her where they are, she sighs loudly, and follows me back there, and shows me the box (with super small text, that I literally could not read cause I'm super short and the box was up high) that was sealed shut. She then spends 10 minutes (during rush?? and then complains about being stressed??) telling me how stressful it is for her to have people ask her where things are when we are busy, that it makes her life so difficult, that I need to think about how it is to be her, all the while I'm trying not to cry cause she's literally triggering me.
She also gets really upset when I ask her to repeat herself if I didn't catch what she said to me, especially if she just says something to me out of nowhere without catching my attention first. And then she constantly just tells people and me about how I'm so quiet and never speak and "why are you so quiet?" I don't know. Maybe cause you're making me uncomfortable.
I guess my question is, is she an abusive SSV or is she just your average mean supervisor?
gayghoul5876 8 points 1y ago
I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this. The best thing you can do is asses her relationship with you SM and DM. Also I wouldn’t share how you feel with other partners. People can be really mean and you never know when they can open their mouths repeat what you’re saying, but completely out of context making you the bad guy. If she isn’t close with you SM or DM I encourage you to talk to them. Maybe they can switch up who the SSV is for your shifts. Also if you’re not comfortable doing that, apply to transfer. The people who say it doesn’t get better aren’t always right, maybe sometimes but not always. I’ve been to 3 stores and finally have one that feels like home. You can get through this. 💜☕️
NotAPieceOfPie 3 points 1y ago
Talk to your manager and other shifts for sure. Stand up for yourself and talk to the SSV too if it feels safe to do so. That SSV is behaving childishly; she should be uplifting other partners, not berating them and taking out her problems on them. Especially if they’re new.
When I was new and my SSV’s would criticize me on bar or whatever, I would ask them for a solution. “What do you suggest is the best way to do this?” “How do you handle these types of situations?” “How do you balance making orders from mobile/cafe/DT?” “Do you have any tips on how I can be better?” These types of questions show that you’re not here to play around, and that you are actively seeking to learn from and work with your SSV. If they’re not being helpful and don’t respond in kind, it looks even worst on them.
When I was new and my SSV’s would criticize me on bar or whatever, I would ask them for a solution. “What do you suggest is the best way to do this?” “How do you handle these types of situations?” “How do you balance making orders from mobile/cafe/DT?” “Do you have any tips on how I can be better?” These types of questions show that you’re not here to play around, and that you are actively seeking to learn from and work with your SSV. If they’re not being helpful and don’t respond in kind, it looks even worst on them.
hoewenn [OP] 1 points 1y ago
I do try to ask questions like that but she’s always been the type of “figure it out yourself” type of person. She constantly say “find something to do” to me.
NotAPieceOfPie 1 points 1y ago
Keep doing your best, learn and improve from others who treat you better. Tell her you’re doing your best, but you would hope she’d offer more helpful advice. Eventually you should confront her and have a conversation. Or you can just keep things professional, take things at face value and just carry on like it doesn’t really matter what she does.
Talk with your other manager and other shift SSV’s, they’ll probably give her a talk on how to properly coach others.
Talk with your other manager and other shift SSV’s, they’ll probably give her a talk on how to properly coach others.
FoxyOnTheRun_ 2 points 1y ago
Start documenting. Make a note in your phone and list the time, date, what was said/done to the best of your memory, and if anyone else on the clock saw. do this every time. It might seem little but it starts adding up.
If you feel you are being wronged by a superior ALWAYS be building a case against them. you may never ever need to use it! but it’s better to have it and not need it than to be blindsided and thrown under the bus.
If you feel you are being wronged by a superior ALWAYS be building a case against them. you may never ever need to use it! but it’s better to have it and not need it than to be blindsided and thrown under the bus.
Babeygoo 2 points 1y ago
Maybe talk to your manager about it. some partners (even baristas) just aren’t ok with new partners. which isn’t ok. i’m sorry that she’s not welcoming and helping you out. it takes so much time to get to know everything and feel completely comfortable. i would talk to your manager. i’m so sorry that that’s happening to you.
FfierceLaw 1 points 1y ago
She’s so insecure and stressed herself she can’t see what a good hard working partner she has in you. A little of this will go away when you learn where things are and in general feel more at home in the store. She should experience some push back from you and other partners, she has a lot to learn about being a good leader, she’s a poor one right now. Sometimes you learn how not to be from someone like this. When she asked how you’re feeling, she was going through the motions of some Starbucks lingo but she made it about herself! I hope you settle in and see the comedy of this person, but there’s always the option to transfer. If she’s an example of the leadership in the store it may never be the experience you deserve.
46patisse 1 points 1y ago
She's the devil
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