In my alternate universe, I’m fabulously wealthy and can anonymously send people $$$ so they can do work that makes them happy and still afford to go to the doctor.

Oh absolutely, and I know this but there's a few ways that I could handle it from here. One, if she comes back in the next morning and I'm here and she tries the same stunt AGAIN, I can tell her, 'im sorry, but when I made this drink yesterday morning I told you that unless you bought it this morning, I would unable to fill the order.' so I do it preemptively. It also gives me the opportunity to spread the words to not only the rest of the crew/shifts, but also my SM. Who has told me that this is how I'm supposed to handle it. It also gives me a chance to gather information, such as her name and other such information, like her account id number. That way we can file and incident report - and if we fill enough of those on her, Starbucks itself will back us up when we tell her that she's not allowed inside our Starbucks anymore.

As for the survey, I know that of she doesn't pay she doesn't get a survey, but if we don't fulfill her order, and she calls customer service, they're going to give her a 20 dollar gifts card anyways and tell her, and then corporates breathing down our necks.

It's all about covering my ass, while also covering your ass. And obviously this is why I would handle it this way, I can't really speak for anyone else. I still wish your SSV would talk you through it so you could understand their logic.

The reddit hivemind? I see it happen a lot with what turns out to be valid questions.

Well Starbucks says their policy is one thing but their actions show it’s another. Upholding policy is giving the customer what they want 99% of the time. I’ve seen people getting written up for upholding the stated policy. It’s just not worth it. Starbucks loses money on this not me.