Hey fellow baristas (or ex)! I need to know something concerning moments when anxiety kicks in.

I am a male at my store. I am always very friendly and happy because I love making people smile and having a good day.

I was working solo DT. I noticed someone drive up that I recognized. My heart sank and I could barely talk straight and breathe correctly.

In short; there was a guy I used to be friends with in high school. About a year ago he said some pretty nasty things to me, tried hitting on my girlfriend (who is now my wife) behind my back, has sexually assaulted close friends of mine, and bullied me for my career choice, college choice, and beliefs.

I asked my shift if she could please take his order and serve him because I physically felt like I couldn’t.

She said she would for this one time but scolded me and said to never do it again because they’re not allowed to just take over for me like that. I then tried to explain the situation without mentioning too much. I then got called immature and that I needed to grow up by another SS who was working as a barista. Got told That “it goes against policy” for me to step away like that.

The hypocrisy comes in because two other female workers have been yelled at by customers, ones they have no relation with, and I’ve been told to take over for them by my SS. No complaints, no hassle. I always take rude customers and customers who want to yell, because it truly doesn’t bother me because I don’t know them.

As soon as I ask to step away for one customer (there were no other cars, it was just him) I get scolded, called immature, etc.

The thing is, I remember in my training that if you feel uncomfortable in ANY situation or position, you are allowed to ask to not do that task. Am I in the wrong here?