sure i'm finally getting better at this job after ~4 months, but i'm kinda down about it.
this is more of a personal vent than a work-related one.
i want to be a shift lead, always made that a goal. almost guaranteed hours, more things to do, i'd feel a lot more helpful (i can't really bar that well) and i think i'd be good at it. but i doubt it's in the cards since i don't know our standards bar wise well, and a couple of my coworkers see me as a nuisance for it. i want to get better at that stuff but with the way they act about it i always feel like i'm in the way if i try. i've contemplated taking the coffee master course just to feel better lol.
and yes i love most of my coworkers, but it's getting less and less worth it. i'm in a weird in-between with hours where i don't work enough to get our benefits (the reason i wanted to work here), but i work too much to qualify for state insurance, so i have to pay for things like my transgender HRT out of pocket and it's really frustrating when i know i could just get a better job, but i feel like this is the only one i enjoy going to and can stick with.
i can look at the positives- i've started to use lyra, i use spotify premiun, my hours are finally up. but my hours are still inconsistent, and i shouldn't have to desperately try to pick up shifts, and i shouldn't have to be so anxious financially when $bux catfished me into thinking it was a smart move.
my attitude might have to do with two other huge factors- we are very understaffed, and one of my coworkers was recently attacked/threatened as well as the whole store. it probably makes me think too much of the other negatives and i just don't want to do this shit for minimum wage anymore.
idk