Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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i’m a transgender partner having transgender issues (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by Ambition_Healthy
i decided starbucks would be the right fit for me because they have the benefits for my (eventual) transition. i really love the job and love the area i’m working in, even if i do have lots of crappy times at work. though, i do have one issue.
i’ve been working at sbux for about six months now. i know i’m pre-t, but i do everything i can to look as masculine as possible. i feel now the only indicators are my voice (customers mostly call me sir if my back is turned to the lobby so :/). however, there’s a handful of my coworkers that still misgender me. i would understand if i had just started a month ago, but it’s getting slightly insulting now.
i even started wearing pronoun pins hoping they would get it right, and i really don’t have the heart to correct them but it makes me really uncomfortable! help i don’t know what to do
i’ve been working at sbux for about six months now. i know i’m pre-t, but i do everything i can to look as masculine as possible. i feel now the only indicators are my voice (customers mostly call me sir if my back is turned to the lobby so :/). however, there’s a handful of my coworkers that still misgender me. i would understand if i had just started a month ago, but it’s getting slightly insulting now.
i even started wearing pronoun pins hoping they would get it right, and i really don’t have the heart to correct them but it makes me really uncomfortable! help i don’t know what to do
FfierceLaw 31 points 1y ago
Do you have an understanding partner or two you could share this concern with? Maybe they could gently correct someone who misgenders you without making a big deal of it but very matter of factly. This happens in my store, we look out for each other. And if it's willful or habitual your SM needs to know
Ambition_Healthy [OP] 19 points 1y ago
a few of the shift leads will tend to gently remind people, occasionally they get passive aggressive about it. it’s just getting really uncomfortable and annoying at this point
bryceofswadia 3 points 1y ago
This. If you aren’t comfortable correcting people, you should def try to find a supportive coworker who can step in on your behalf.
[deleted] 22 points 1y ago
[deleted]
LockAzzy 12 points 1y ago
Correct them every time. Every. Time. And have a conversation with them about it. That will give you some insight on whether or not it's on purpose. If it is, you should then report them.
scarlettmuffin7 9 points 1y ago
If you feel comfortable doing so, try to tell the shift leads whats happening and ask if they can help correct people when they misgender you. I'm trans masc nonbinary and wear a pronoun pin but people still slap me with she/her all the time (it doesnt usually bother me) but my SM will call people out on it and firmly ask them to use correct pronouns for me. You could also correct them and if they continue misgendering you just stop responding to them? I understand confrontation is hard but sometimes people just do it because they get away with misgendering and think "oh well if it mattered he would say something." Even though thats not true AT ALL. Im so sorry this is happening to you friend. Sending love and courage your way! 💚
YorkTownBratty 8 points 1y ago
Lmao let me have the store number and I’ll call and complain
Awittynamegoeshere 4 points 1y ago
You've been there 6 months, there's no way they don't know your preferred pronouns.
This is 100% an issue that you need to talk to your store manager about. You need to keep a record of who is doing it and when it happens. Your store manager is responsible for providing a safe, harrassment free work environment for you, and if they fail to do, please escalate this to your DM or PCC.
I see in one of your comments, you're worried about speaking up because one of the people is a well liked shift, but honestly, that's worse. They are supposed to be setting the example of how baristas should conduct themselves, and if the shift continually misgenders you, their actions are showing others that you are not worthy of the respect of using your proper pronouns. That is not ok, and they need some serious sensitivity training ASAP.
This is 100% an issue that you need to talk to your store manager about. You need to keep a record of who is doing it and when it happens. Your store manager is responsible for providing a safe, harrassment free work environment for you, and if they fail to do, please escalate this to your DM or PCC.
I see in one of your comments, you're worried about speaking up because one of the people is a well liked shift, but honestly, that's worse. They are supposed to be setting the example of how baristas should conduct themselves, and if the shift continually misgenders you, their actions are showing others that you are not worthy of the respect of using your proper pronouns. That is not ok, and they need some serious sensitivity training ASAP.
SisterAndromeda2007 4 points 1y ago
When they say "her", you correct them. "As a matter of fact, I am a male." And say it as if you're correcting them. Don't say it as if you're offended.
babyIoves 3 points 1y ago
Please please report this to your SM & any shifts you feel comfy with!
[deleted] 2 points 1y ago
You gotta directly ask people to call you what you want, can’t just expect people to get it right without even telling them. Most people will switch to it, for the 1% that wont, fuckem. Love from a trans ex-bean.
monochromaticcat 2 points 1y ago
This happens to me too and I’ve been on T for two years. It’s unfortunate but there’s always going to be the handful of coworkers or customers who insist on calling you “she” even when you have a really masculine name, voice, and presentation. I’m shy though so I just let them do it- If you want to I’d calmly bring it up with whichever of your supervisors is the nicest. part of the reason I let them do it is that one of the guys who does it to me is a manager who everyone likes :/
Ambition_Healthy [OP] 1 points 1y ago
i really do not care if customers do it that much, it’s just my coworkers that bother me. i have the same problem too with one of them being a shift lead that everybody likes :/, that’s why i’m rlly scared about speaking up about it. i might get my friend who’s a shift to bring up learning pronouns at the next shift meeting lol
narviat 1 points 1y ago
if the shift lead that everyone likes is one of the partners doing it, start with that person, the rest may very well just follow. pull them aside next time they do it and say "hey we've been working together for a while now, id like for you to use he/him pronouns when referring to me"
also definitely ask your shift friend to bring it up in the next shift meeting so everyone can be on the same page, this is starbucks, its basically widely known for hiring queer people, this shouldnt be a regular happening
also definitely ask your shift friend to bring it up in the next shift meeting so everyone can be on the same page, this is starbucks, its basically widely known for hiring queer people, this shouldnt be a regular happening
taxighost 1 points 1y ago
new beans (especially young ones who quit quickly) are especially bad about this!! i would absolutely bring it up to a shift! there’s a trans guy at my store who wears pronouns and i didn’t even notice until welllll after i began using he/him - those things are small as hell tbh. i would advocate for yourself in whatever way you feel comfortable. you are entitled to respect <3
Ambition_Healthy [OP] 0 points 1y ago
haha i actually bought my own off etsy that are quite big because of how small the starbucks issued ones are!! i also wear it right next to my
name tag just cause. i may try just gently correcting people.
name tag just cause. i may try just gently correcting people.
finnroxjt 1 points 1y ago
Would you be offended on any level if a partner asked you what your pronoun of preference was? There’s a partner at my store who I believe goes by a different pronoun, but am unsure if I may just being assuming/generalizing, although I don’t believe I am. I want to stay as respectful as possible while coming from the least offensive angle as possible. Was curious in your personal perspective…
Ambition_Healthy [OP] 2 points 1y ago
personally, i believe that asking people’s pronouns when you’re unsure should be normalized! most trans people i know would be happy that you even asked, because that means you’re trying your best to be respectful. so no, i would not be offended. to me it just means you’re trying to respect my identity and you actually care :)
finnroxjt 1 points 1y ago
fs. :) I’ll remember this for future reference. Thank you!
WingsofFlight 1 points 1y ago
I have this and understand how it feels. A few times I have gently corrected but honestly? Have kind of gave up. I know sometimes they genuinely forget (they apologise after) which doesn't bother me, we are all human.
[deleted] 1 points 1y ago
[removed]
Tara_Kitten 1 points 1y ago
Yeah, this is absolutely not cool how they're treating you. I joined Sbux for the same reason years ago, and while I didn't always pass then, the partners treated me correctly. I did have an issue with an older partner, but after we met with my SM things were resolved.
So get in contact with your SM, and if that doesn't work, talk to the DM. No one should be continually disrespected doing their job.
So get in contact with your SM, and if that doesn't work, talk to the DM. No one should be continually disrespected doing their job.
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