Alright fellow beans I need to vent a bit because even after 24 hours it still doesn’t sit well with me.

So my shift is rather busy but nothing out of the ordinary. I was doing DT and was cashing people out at the window as well. My coworkers including my shift lead were kind of making jokes with eachother in between to just lighten the mood so we wouldn’t all be stressed. Well I got so many difficult, rude and just ew customers in a row that I got a bit anxious and it started getting a bit worse but I was still able to do what needed to be done. Well my shift lead was trying to joke with me and I wasn’t responding and his words kept making me feel worse so I told him “hey I’m feeling a little anxious, I can still do my job but please don’t joke around with me right now so I can concentrate” I’ve always been pretty open with my coworkers and everyone I work with about my anxiety since I feel no need to hide it and if anxiety ever strikes at least when I let people know they know what’s happening.

Well after I told my shift lead to stop and to just let me concentrate he replies “well I know exactly what would make you feel better”. I immediately relied because I already knew the answer to this joke, “I already know what your going to say so please don’t because I’m already anxious and you are going to make it worse” but he decided not to listen and said “just stop feeling anxious”. Oooooooh let me tell you I was filled with rage and anxiety and was about to cry and I took off my headset and was like “really?!” And he kept saying he was just joking and of course I raised my voice saying “gee just stop being anxious?? I never thought of that! That is such a stupid thing to say!!” And proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes to try and calm down.

He ended up apologizing afterwards and trying to make excuses like “I didn’t know” and “you should of told me and I would of moved you” and I had to stand there and listen to him and I basically just told him how I felt and that I did tell him and he chose to say what he said anyway. Did not accept his apology and did not say it was ok. I ended up telling my manager and she felt super bad and just kept apologizing and saying she has worked with him for a long time and that he’s a playful person and she is sure he didn’t mean it. And of course my immediate reply was “wether he meant it or not he still did it and the situation could of been avoided and he needs to be held accountable and be more sensitive and actually listen to people when they tell him something is wrong. He apologized and that’s whatever, that still does not make it right and I want to make sure that doesn’t happen to me again or to anyone here”.

Anyways that’s my rant and let me just say it made me very happy that after that incident most of my coworkers were super supportive and kept checking on me through out the rest of my shift and very angry at the shift lead and didn’t really talk to him for the rest of the day. Mental heath is no joke y’all!!