First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how devastated you are and I wish you the best in getting through this incredibly difficult time.
I think the official policy is immediate family only but when my uncle died my manager was able to get it for me anyway so I’d just talk to your manager

Also, don’t forget to apply for the cup fund as well for your travel expenses. They can and will grant you up to a 1000 dollars to help with emergency travel, rent and so on. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Yes it counts because in the military dating counts as domestic partners if you lived together, you get 4 days since it’s out of state, and you can apply for the cup fund, up to $1,000 . They cover flights (can be first class even if you wanted) hotel stays, and Ubers to and from the airport but not food. And any funeral cost you may have, or help with any bills you may need since you might miss more than 4 days of work. Don’t forget you can use sick days for any scheduled shifts you may miss after the 4 days, and vacation time if you need to add extra hours onto a week