That is totally inappropriate for a customer to ask.

People need to get the idea that we are servers, not friends. Just yesterday on a local woman-only social media group women were defending someone who rubbed a pregnant server's belly, and I was standing up for the server, saying "You may be having a nice time out but that doesn't mean your server is your friend and you can be familiar with them." Very few understood. You were 100% in your right, our bodies are not up for customer discussion. This is why a lot of us want to stay masked indefinitely, they are not entitled to our expressions, our faces, we get to keep something to ourselves while we are being good, attentive servers.

I’ve heard partners get that. Also the “you look so tired” comment. Like, you look like jar jar binks twin sister, don’t get me into this at 5am.

Had this happen at cafe register but they kept pointing out my acne and how tired I looked. All I said was “What do you mean by that?” And then just stared at them. They either are speechless or have to explain their own rudeness but either way they are mortified 💚

I once went through a very rough breakup, could barely hold myself together for work, reeling from the abuse and a customer asked me if I was sick because I’d dropped 30 pounds in a month. Sick??? No honey, I’m just finding myself again.. NOT THEIR BUSINESS

God this is so inappropriate. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was trying to start a conversation to sell you some MLM shit.

u/candidinsanity before you clock out we need to talk about your customer connections.

I’ve lost a lot of weight recently, and I’ve had multiple regulars ask me about it. I don’t mind once but it’s almost every time they come in now. It makes me really uncomfortable bc I’ve struggled with EDs before :(

I am so tired of customers bringing up weight and diets. I’m in recovery from an eating disorder and it’s so triggering when customers and partners remark on calories of food and drinks, (“I can’t eat that, are you trying to make us fat?”) and like… that’s what I had on my break. It makes it so hard.

I had a regular male customer who was somewhere in the range of 55-65 who was talking to another partner at the register when he blurted out “what have you been doing because you look healthy and just all around great.”. I pretended I didn’t hear him because I wasn’t directly helping him. He then said very loudly “what’s your secret, what did you do to loose so much weight?”. I turned around and bluntly said “I had a baby about a year and a half ago. It took me almost twice as long to loose my baby weight than it took to gain it I guess.”. He was so fucking embarrassed and said nothing else.

I get peeved when people bring up weight at work. After my friend died a few years ago I just have not been able to gain the weight I wanted to.. I had a customer who said I am too skinny and need to start eating more.

I hate confrontation and didn't tell her anything about my struggle, but God damn... these people need to be more considerate of other people's lives and mental health..

i had the opposite happen to me. this regular came up to me and said “what happened?” and i was so confused and said “what do you mean?” and he just said “you gained weight! it looks good but what happened?” and i nervously laughed and just said i don’t know and he left…. his sister is also a regular and when i told her he said that she said she was gonna beat him up for me lol… didn’t make me feel that much better but i was just as baffled that a customer felt like they could comment on my weight. like it’s my body? keep it to yourself

WTF that is not okay, what is wrong with people??

I have this lady who always comments on how thin I am (?) and always suggests I double wrap my apron tie to look even skinnier... And she always tries to talk to me about calories. What the ever loving fuck? I'm not even particularly thin btw

Oh wow, I was waiting for you to say that maybe there was a language barrier or something and she had meant something else, but no she actually meant your weight, what the fuck???


I can be such an asshole, if someone said this to me it would have been so hard to not reply "Would you want me asking you this? No, I didn't think so. Bye." but of course I probably would've smiled and shrugged and then shit talk her to co-workers later lol

Giving me flashbacks of a particularly rough morning I was having a few years ago, that was underscored by a very similar customer interaction. Just hyper-fixating on getting me to respond the way they wanted, repeatedly prompting me about my weight loss, completely refusing to acknowledge or accept the palpable discomfort of my coworkers and my deliberate avoidance.

When I finally locked eyes and flatly said "Thanks, it's all the chemo", they were mortified.

I very much believe that their *intention* was to segue into a positive sentiment once they managed to finagle me into their chosen script, but that really doesn't matter. We have got to stop normalizing this intrusive dissection of stranger's lives.

She probably didn’t mean to be offensive or rude but she’s gotta to be told at some point that it’s not polite . It’s understandable to feel a bit bad for her but she’s better off and probably won’t be doing that anymore

I hate when customers mention people's weight. I've had them tell me I "look like Jim Morrison if he let himself go" and tried to play it off and said "well he did die of a drug overdose at age twenty seven so he kinda already left himself go ma'am" and she said "oh I just meant more if he was fat." Then patted her belly with both hands.

Still, I feel what you went through is worse. Obviously you don't want to talk about it and it's so presumptuous to even say or mention. Ugh. People sick, I'm sorry you have to deal with that :(

Why does your weight matter to her drink?

Thats so shitty I'm sorry

The other week this happened to me. A customer says "\_\_\_\_, it looks like you have lost weight!" I've had good interactions with this customer so I have ignored it. I was close to saying "All of my starbucks shirts are big on me, unlike this small sized one. This really isn't any of your business though.

I'm sorry this has also happened to you.

Hell nah don’t feel bad. You have every right to tell someone, even a customer, that they are making you uncomfortable. Remarks like this would straight up trigger my bulimia and encourage me to relapse. Your boundaries matter.

I used to get customers that would comment on my weight and told me I needed to eat more because I’m too skinny. Or that I needed a double burger. It used to be really hard for me to gain weight and I ate a lot. It always hurt my feelings because I was really underweight. So i feel this

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Yeah I would have been super blunt about how inappropriate that is. It sounds like you handled it very well though. I would have been petty as hell.

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